When You listen to the song of my life, let it be a song so sweet

Christmas Wish List!

2011-12-09T16:24:00.003-05:00

hey everyone!

so my christmas wish list from last year was a huge success! between christmas and my birthday, i almost got everything on my list! so i've decided to do it again. sure it's a little self-absorbed, but it yields some pretty awesome benefits for me. hahaha! =D

Here's what mia wants for christmas - some are outlandish but hey, a girl can dream, right?

1. marc jacobs small purse

2. Crocs rain boots

3. ESV Study Bible (help me to lead bstudy better!) hehe!

4. a mini guitar for my mia-size fingers

5. wonderstruck (the perfume) - by taylor swift

6. non-cashmere glittens (i keep getting holes in my thumbs bc i use them so much!)

7. winter pajamas! (these are from the gap, btw)

8. ipad! (hey, i can dream...)

9. incredibly loud and extremely close (the book, not the movie)

10. any C.S. Lewis book

Okay... that's it for now. if i think of more, i'll add on. =) happy shopping everyone!

one

2011-11-27T23:57:00.001-05:00

a + b = mia

2011-11-14T18:18:00.002-05:00

i recently purchased airplane tickets to go on a trip to vancouver and LA, and a funny thing happened.

i was online trying to buy these tickets around 2am on wed night. and after i hit the submit button, my transaction wouldn't go through. the page told me to call the airline. so i called the airline, and they told me to call my credit card company.

and do you know why they sent me on this wild goose chase?

my credit card thought my card had been stolen bc i, little mia, who has owned this credit card since 2005, does not typically buy airplane tickets. i set off all these red flags over at my credit card's headquarters. i imagined an old man sitting at a company, watching me make this transaction on my card, thinking, "surely, mia isn't buying an airplane ticket! she NEVER does that! let alone a ticket to CANADA?!" hahaha. but sure enough, i was. =)

so i had to sit on the phone with the bofa ppl and tell them my entire itinerary of when i was traveling and where i'd be going so that this wouldn't happen again.

after this big hullabaloo was over, i sat on my bed wondering - how did they know?? how does my CC know me so well? how does it know that i never buy plane tickets? i theorized that maybe someone was assigned to me, and has been watching my purchase history for years now so that when my card gets stolen, they'd know. but i checked with a friend, and she said that this is not the case. haha, that there are computer formulas and codes to calculate these things.

it's really crazy to think that a simple algorithm could KNOW a person so well. that it would know my habits, my likes and dislikes, my favorite foods and books, and even the interests of my loved ones based on gifts that i buy for them. it made me realize that what i buy says a lot about who i am.

so i analyzed my credit card statements, and this is who i am:

- i eat a lot of hale& hearty
- i always take out cash on friday evenings
- i eat burgers often (especially 5 guys - at least once a month)
- i buy presents for ppl every month
- i shop a lot at ann taylor loft
- i buy transportation tickets from the MTA and metro-north
- i eat at the mcdonalds near church office fairly often
- and most recently - apparently, i eat in ktown very often
- i buy a new batch of books every 4 months or so
- i buy a lot of cupcakes and cookies from all kinds of bakeries

my spending radius is pretty small. i really don't leave this area much, do i? well... hoho... looks like that's about to change. at least for a week and a half! =)

credit card - you better watch out! mia's going to be doing some unusual things!

a new song in my heart

2011-08-30T00:00:00.003-04:00

hey everyone!

i recorded another song! this one was a hard one. by the time i got to the take that's uploaded here, my voice was so tired. dang, she belts a high G. that's insane. i didn't even know that was humanly possible. haha! i'm thoroughly impressed. i could not achieve it, but i did my best.

i hope u guys like it. i really like the message of this song. and the original is also so beautiful. u should all go take a listen. =)

original artist: demi lovato
song: skyscraper

ps. here are the lyrics:

marathons

2011-08-16T01:48:00.003-04:00

last night, i watched a movie called "the kids are all right." the movie was meh, but there was one line that stuck out to me.

"marriage is an eff-ing marathon."

the line stuck out to me bc i've recently begun running.

i'm not gonna sugar coat this - running sucks.

- it's painful
- i can't remember what it feels like anymore to not be sore all over my body
- it's time-consuming
- if you give up, you have to start all over again to build your endurance. so really, u can't give up
- you have to eat healthier
- you sweat
- you have to look ugly in front of people - sweaty, grumpy, in pain, panting
- you will most likely incur some kind of injury
- even when you're tired, u still have to keep running

these are all things i hate about running. i would say that it's a miserable experience. but why do i do it?

- bc i promised julia yang that i would be her running buddy
- bc i want to be healthy
- bc i've never run in my entire life, and it'd be nice to finally overcome this

it's been a surprising experience. i've never been able to run EVER in my life. but for the first time, i'm able to run. i'm able to run without stopping. i'm able to actually be PROUD of myself. and bc i've gotten a glimpse of how good it can be, it makes me wonder, should i try to run a marathon?

i think the statement that marriage is a marathon is true. u get a glimpse of how good "running a marathon" could be when you're dating. and finally, u decide that you're going to do it - you're going to commit to train to run a marathon.

but once u start running the marathon, it's hard. it sucks. u will get tired; u will feel pain; u will want to give up; u will want to take a break. but u can't. bc if u do, u will lose. the same goes for marriage. it is hard, there will be pain, u will want to give up, but u can't.

i'm finding that running is creating a new character in me. it's teaching me to push through the pain, and keep my eyes on the finishline. it's teaching me stay committed bc if i give up, julia will probably give up too. and i want to see her grow, not fail bc of my own flaws. it's teaching me that even though it sucks now, i'm gonna be so proud later.

and i hope that these learnings will equip me for the marathon of marriage.

but more importantly, i hope that they will equip me for the marathon of this spiritual race we're all running to win.

at the end of every marathon, there is always a crowd of loved ones jumping and screaming with signs and ready-hugs. i imagine that when i'm done with my life, God is going to be there at the finishline with a big sign, jumping up and down, rooting me on, ready with delicious snacks, arms open wide, waiting for me to jump right in. =)

PTL!

2011-07-24T23:42:00.002-04:00

i just got off the phone with my mom, and she told me about how she and some of her church members went to serve at a homeless shelter in paterson, nj.

now, if you don't know, paterson, nj is pretty ghetto. and when she told me she went to paterson, my mouth dropped bc my mom is not the kind of person to go anywhere that is unsafe.

so i asked her all about it bc i was really surprised that she did this. and she told me that she cooked food and served it to the people who came to the shelter. i asked her, "umma, how did you like it?" and she said that it was a little scary but overall, she said she felt really good inside.

she said that people kept saying, "thank you mami!" and she said that she felt so appreciated by their words. and of course, my mom being my mom, touted her own horn, and said how people raved about the awesome salad she made, and the perfectly cooked rice. hahaha. oh my mom. =)

but at the end of the conversation, i said, "umma, i'm really proud of you for doing this." and she said this to me:

"yeah, i felt so good inside to help these people, and the people were so happy, and thank God."

i felt really warm inside to watch my mom grow a little more in her walk of faith, and to see that God is moving in her life.

PTL indeed. amen! =D

regret

2011-07-07T22:09:00.002-04:00

about 2 months ago, i noticed that there was a young-ish homeless girl who sat on the sidewalk near my office. the first time i passed her by, my heart broke for her. i couldn't help but think about how young she was, and how when i was her age, i was in such a different place than she was. i wanted to talk to her, see if i could help her, but i got scared. a million thoughts ran through my head - what do i say? do i ask for her name? do i tell her mine? do i tell her about Jesus right now? what if she asks me why this happened to her? what do i tell her?

so, i kept walking.

2 days later, she was back again. my heart broke again, and i thought for sure, i should talk to her. but again, the doubting questions attacked, and i walked passed her again. but i promised myself that the next time, i would definitely talk to her - no matter what.

and then i didn't see her again for nearly a month. =(

and then, 2 weeks ago, she was back. and my heart leaped! my chance was back, and God had opened this door again. but silly me, i walked passed her again. thankfully, God tugged on my heart, and turned me around. so i knelt beside her and began to talk to her.

i asked her how she was doing, where she was staying, gave her some money, and asked her if she needed help finding a place to sleep. i told her that i knew of a place called covenant house, and that maybe she could go there. but neither of us knew where it was. so i promised her that tomorrow, i'd bring her all the information, just make sure to come back around 6pm, and i'll be here. so she promised she'd be back to talk to me tomorrow. and i walked away.

i was kicking myself the whole commute home. why did i not pray for her? why did i not ask her her name? why did i not tell her that Jesus loved her? what was i so darn afraid of??? sigh.

the next day, i left my office at 6pm, armed with all the info for CH and some healthy snacks for her to eat. but she wasn't there.

i've been carrying this stuff in my purse now for 2 weeks, hoping she'll come back again.

i feel so much regret for not being more bold, for not having the courage to pray for her, for not showing her more love when i had the chance. i'm so disappointed in myself. =(

i really pray that God will open this door one more time. i promise, i will do it right next time.

movie time at cineplex mia

2011-06-29T16:53:00.007-04:00

i've recently been on a movie kick, and i've been watching tons of movies. okay, i exaggerate - i've only seen 3. haha! but it feels like a lot bc they were all watched on a week night. =)

anyhoo, here are some of my favorite bits:

loved this scene from Tangled- so beautiful AND romantic!

i also recently watched The Social Network. i totally fell in love with eduardo saverin/andrew garfield. i die with love for him. swoooooooooon! =D <3

most mussheesuh scene of the movie - i was on the floor at this point.... drool...

and i also watched the time traveler's wife.

the book was WAY better than the movie. and i cried a whole lot more in the book than i did for the movie. but overall, it was nice to watch since rachel mcadams is one of my fave actresses.

i realized that it's been a while since i've watched a movie by myself. for some reason, when you're dating, you seem to always watch movies with your significant other. but once you're single, all of a sudden, watching movies alone seems weird and illogical. of course, there are benefits, such as being able to watch all the cheesy/terrible chick flicks i want without feeling guilty for forcing my bf to watch this drivel. but on the other hand, it feels a little strange to laugh out loud by myself with no one to glance over and laugh together with.

there's also no one around to immediately debrief about the movie with. i find myself rushing to my computer to find someone online who i can chat with to say, "omg - eduardo saverin is so hot," or, "wow, i felt so sorry for mark zuckerberg," or, "why does mandy moore sing in every movie she stars in? does she not have the ability to separate her singing and acting career? sheesh!" movie watching has a different feel to it when you watch them by yourself.

i think, overall, i am finding myself re-learning how to do normal things. i was used to having someone around for so long.

my atrophied "muscles" are working out. that is a good thing. =)

next on my movie queue: beastly. hahaha, it's gonna be so bad, but so good. =D

EDIT - eugh, sorry the pics got cut off! darn layout of the blog!! =(

=) =D ;D =P

2011-06-16T14:25:00.006-04:00

i've recently realized that the people i am closest to have something in common:

they all use emoticons and exclamation points! =)

i know that this may seem like a silly commonality, but i'm realizing more and more that this is really important to me. my receiving love language is verbal affirmation; so it only makes sense that smiley faces and exclamation points are the main components of my language.

there's something about a smiley face at the end of a sentence that is so reassuring that there is a friendly person at the other end of this internet connection. and there's nothing more satisfying than to see the excited exclamation point of a friend's conversation.

i feel like these 2 things are very clear ways for anyone to know how exactly you feel. in the world of emails, gchats, tweets, and blogs, we're so hidden behind the screens of our computers. there's no way to know the inflection of your voice if you're being sarcastic or true to your word unless i see some kind of smiley face. and when i talk to people who don't use emoticons or exclamation points, i find myself constantly trying to assess and gauge how they're REALLY feeling. and it gets tiring! but when someone puts a cute little smiley face after a sentence, i know that we're having a fun, good time. and i know that u are smiling back at me. and that makes me happy. and when u use an exclamation point, it helps me to know that u are excited to be talking to me. and all this affirms to me that we are close friends.

i think this is why i'm closest to ppl who also use emoticons and exclamation points. a) it makes me feel loved. and b) it makes the relationship so much easier to grow.

hahaha, what a silly revelation. =D

ps. on a side note, i particularly love when people use this smiley face: -___-

but i never use it bc it's way too much work. hahaha! but everytime i see one of those, i smile a little bigger than usual. =D

EDIT: omgosh, i just found out that the -__- is NOT a happy face, but is actually like a deadpan face. this is not cool in my book!!! i was totally wrong all these years!! it is no longer a particular fave now! hmmph!!

storytime!

2011-06-09T14:32:00.003-04:00

i stole this story from cadengo's blog bc i liked it. hope u like it too! =)

There were three men.

Each had a prized possession, something that he treasured.

The first man was a simple man. He hid his treasure behind his clothes in the closet where no one could conceivably get to them. But one day, armed thugs broke into his house, turned the place upside down, and found his treasure. They knew it was a treasure because he so safely secured it. And they took his treasure and sold it on the streets for the price of two pigeons. The simple man was sad to discover his treasure wasn't worth nearly as much as he had hoped, and worse, that he could not even afford to buy his own treasure back because he had sold all he had to get it.

The second man was more clever than the first. He knew not to make a big fuss about his treasure, for surely that would rouse the suspicion of eager thieves. So he took his treasure and left it on the curb in front of his house. He left his treasure among the trash, for he thought, surely, no competent thief would go looking there. Till one day a trash man mistook his treasure for garbage, and threw it in with the rest at the dump. The clever man was upset that someone had treated his treasure with such disregard, and distraught that his treasure tainted was now lost forever.

The last man was neither simple, nor clever, but wise. He had seen enough treasure go to waste--stolen, pillaged, rotted away--to know that none of it would last. No treasure on earth was essential. He had possessions, but he knew that they were gifts, and that he was merely the steward. His real treasure was stored somewhere safe, where no thief could get to it, no thug could tamper with it, and no simple-minded fool would mistake it for anything else but what it was. The wise man kept his treasure in Heaven.

Quote

2011-06-08T16:30:00.002-04:00

"No measure of time with you will be long enough, but we'll start with forever."

- Edward from Twilight.

swooooooooooooooooooooooooon!

faint!

loveeeeeee <3

pregnant mia?

2011-05-17T14:12:00.002-04:00

a conversation between me and my pregnant co-worker...

mia: aww, are you experiencing any morning sickness?

co-worker: actually no! i've been so lucky!

mia: wow, that's awesome. so are u experiencing anything?

co-worker: well... the only thing i feel is that i'm tired a lot, and i'm hungry all the time.

mia: hmm... u know... that just sounds like me... every day.

hahaha! =D

emo

2011-05-15T07:53:00.002-04:00

hey everyone,

i finally made some time to do a new recording. i tried my best to sing as emo as i could, but it's tough... my voice is too pop-y. hope u guys like! =)

artist: a fine frenzy
song: almost lover

this is probably something i would do...

2011-05-10T12:12:00.003-04:00

i watched (500) days of summer last night. this part made me laugh so hard. =D

i love awkward/funny guys. <3

center of attention

2011-05-09T00:20:00.003-04:00

today was another great day! (what a great weekend it has been!)

it was a day of worship, beautiful weather, celebrations of my mom and my sister, korean bbq, coldstone cakes, and funny conversations.

*ps guys - if u've never had a coldstone cake, go and get one now! u won't regret it!! i promise!

anyhoo, i had some trouble picking the highlight of today. there were a lot of golden moments that brought a smile to my face.

i think if i really had to pick one, i'm gonna pick a selfish one. there was a moment in our car ride home from the restaurant where i was telling my family a funny story from the wedding on friday. for a good 5 minutes, i had everyone in the car captivated by my story. they were literally hanging on my every word. and when i got to the dramatic climax of my story, they roared with laughter as i nailed the ending. hahaha. i like this moment bc it reminded me that inherently, i am a storyteller. i love to tell a good story. and i love to tell it with dramatic pauses and effects for maximum audience delight. i think this is why i love to read and write. i love to read good stories, and i like to write great ones myself.

sure, it was only 5 minutes. but for this introvert, it was just enough attention to make me feel special. =) *blush

from rock hard to pillow soft

2011-05-08T01:22:00.003-04:00

today, i got a massage. normally, i LOVE massages, but today's was rough. REALLY rough. =(

my masseuse, keiko, gave me the most painful massage i've ever had in my entire life. i was clenching with pain the entire hour, and i made tons of painful sounds to let her know i was dying. i even told her numerous times that it hurt and asked if she could be softer, but she would not listen. she kept saying that this was good for me; that she was getting out all the knots; that i was becoming softer; and that my back was looking better.

i was getting really frustrated bc i really just wanted a nice, relaxing massage. i didn't want to be in all this pain. i didn't care if all my knots were gone or not. i just wanted to feel good. but u know, i could tell that keiko actually really liked me and cared a lot about me. everytime she found a knot, she was so excited, and immediately went to work on it. and when she got knots out, she would tell me how good it was, and she would be really proud. so i knew she had my best interests in mind, but i was in so much pain!! literally, the massage was done 90% with her elbows!! =((((

as i was lying there on the bed, trying to breathe through the pain, i kept wondering if i should tell her to stop. it was just too much. and even though i knew that it would be good for me to get the knots out, i was like, no, this is way too painful. i can live with the knots.

and it was at this moment that i started to think about sin and friendship. we all sin. and our friends pretty much know about our sins. but there are some friends who want to see the best version of you and try to push and encourage you to move past your sin and to become the best you possible. and then there are other friends who are more surface level, and they don't ever address anything serious with you.

i felt like keiko was one of those pushing/encouraging friends. she genuinely wanted me to be a knot-free person, with good, healthy muscles, and not be riddled with pain and tension. and initially, i thought i could take the pain, but after a while, i really just wanted her to leave me alone. i didn't want to deal with this pain. i didn't want to endure the pain to get to the good side - to have the best mia possible. but she would not have it. at one point, i even told her to give up bc it was too painful. and she reluctantly said okay, but snuck back there a few minutes later.

i know i tend to be a baby sometimes, especially when it comes to doing something that hurts. i will whine, cry, and stamp my foot. but my true friends will keep on pushing me to get through it bc they know how good it'll be once i overcome it. but with friends who are not as close, they'll just be like oh, sorry to hear about that... and not really be there to run beside you.

as much as i was dying in pain, i appreciated keiko and all of her efforts to help me. and honestly - i'm thankful for all the people in my life who run with me, and keep pushing me even when i cry out in pain and beg for mercy. u guys just want to see the best mia.

oyyy! what a revelation to have on a massage table!! =)

and to end the night - the highlight of my day was eating a choco taco while walking in the city with one of my closest friends. good ice cream in my belly, and good conversations to last a lifetime. =D PTL!

now you may kiss the bride!

2011-05-07T13:40:00.004-04:00

Sorry guys!! i totally forgot to do this last night and i just went to bed!! =((

yesterday was such a great day! weather was amazing, took a half day at work, got to get dressed up for a wedding, and God answered my family's prayers!

i would love to say that all of these things were my highlights, but i guess i'll just pick one.

i know you're all expecting this, but my highlight was peter and marta's wedding. of course, i love weddings. everything about them is beautiful. my heart was nothing but happy all night long watching the happy couple smile so wide and without stopping. plus, i got to gorge on the delicious cocktail hour food. haha.

but seriously, weddings are just reminders to me that love DOES exist. and that God IS faithful to our prayers and dreams. and that He makes the perfect mate for all of us, and it's just a matter of time when you find them and start your own beautiful love story.

i can't wait for my own wedding. i don't know when it'll happen, or maybe if it'll ever happen, but i know that God IS faithful, and i trust in that. =)

ps. related highlight - 180 table!! haha, i missed our loud, obnoxious, but happy-to-see-each-other ways. =D

sunshiny

2011-05-06T02:22:00.003-04:00

i walked a LOT today. and honestly, i really shouldn't have walked this much today - considering i am still healing from this sprain, and also bc i need to wear heels tomorrow for a wedding.

but, u know, the highlight of today was when i took a long walk during my lunch. it was such a beautiful day. warm, cozy sunshine, blue skies to delight my eyes, and beautiful flowers everywhere.

sunshine makes me happy - like really happy. =D

and even though i had a lot on my mind, stuff that potentially brings me down, for those 40 minutes, i was oblivious. i just walked as slowly as i could, did not care that i was annoying all the speed-walking new yorkers around me, and just savored the beauty.

i really hate the cliche - "stop and smell the roses." but u know, i do something sort of like that. whenever i can, i stop and touch a flower. i touch it the way i would lovingly cup my husband's face, and smile at its beauty and grace. and i always say a little prayer of thanks to God for making something so small yet so beautiful. it takes my breath away.

we're like... the same person! (hehe)

2011-05-05T01:09:00.003-04:00

today was a busy day. my eyes are barely open with sleepiness, and my ankle is happily resting from a day's worth of walking around. i am at peace!

this may sound silly, but the highlight of my night was spending quality time with my roommate for the last hours of my night. we watched glee clips, laughed at engagement rings, played with talking tom, reminisced about childhood korean meats we love to eat, and giggled about all the silly drama in our lives.

this might not sound like much of a highlight to u guys, but for me - this is what i treasure. i love these moments of intimate friendship that only happens when 2 girls live together. even though i'm so far from getting married, i know that one day - this will all end. and i won't get to have these spontaneous moments of fun bc i'll have a hubby roommate for life. boo. (jk future hubby!)

i'm so thankful for these times!! (plus, it's a rarity that we're all ever home at the same time, or awake at the same time. haha!) =D

love u dkolee! =D

santa mia's coming to town... (sing along!)

2011-05-04T00:52:00.003-04:00

do you guys know what your love language is? everyone has a giving love language and a receiving love language.

my giving love language is gift-giving. i show love to people by giving gifts. it's important to me to think carefully about what someone would want, what would be useful or meaningful to them, or what they would appreciate.

for me - seeing someone's eyes and face light up when they unwrap a gift is the best part of gift giving. yes, i like to hear the praise of knowing i picked a good gift, but ultimately, my greatest joy comes from knowing that they are so happy with their gifts.

so, today's highlight of the day is when my mom called to tell me that the birthday gift that i got for my uncle, he loved it! she said both he and my aunt took turns telling her what a great gift it was! =DDD

i feel very blessed that although i don't make a lot of money to buy big, extravagant gifts, God gives me enough money to still bless the people i love as best as i can.

yay for another successful gift!! =D

so readers - what's YOUR love language? =)

potholes and hole fillers

2011-05-02T23:40:00.003-04:00

today, i walked into a pot hole and sprained my ankle. it was pretty embarrassing - falling in a hole, landing flat onto the street, everyone watching me as i tried to wipe off the street from my pants, and hearing the gasps of concerns as i tumbled over when i tried to stand up straight.

darn pot holes... =(

i wanted to go to bed and just call it a day, but my project loomed over me. it would be easy for me to say, "this day sucks. i sprained my ankle. there is no highlight of the day."

but there is always a highlight. i believe there is always a highlight. <3

today's highlight was when i im-ed a friend to ask about what to do about my sprained ankle, and instead of just gchatting me directions, this friend chose to pick up the phone, call me, and make sure that i got all the necessary attention i needed.

i felt like it was a bit much - that my sprain wasn't so severe to warrant such attention - but u know what? i needed it. i needed to feel cared for and that someone DOES worry about me even when i often feel like i'm on this ride alone.

thanks friend! =D

let's hope i heal up quickly!

funny phone calls

2011-05-01T23:44:00.002-04:00

i just got off the phone with my mom, and we had a funny conversation. here's how it went:

mom: sooo... did you watch the royal wedding this week? (i put the ... bc she was sounding quite mischevious)

mia: yeah...

mom: what'd you think of kate middleton?

mia: she looked beautiful.

mom: (long pause) I LOVE HER!!!

oh my mom!! she's so funny! she then raved for a good 5 min on how she loved kate's dress, and how it's gorgeous in all seasons, and how william looks so kind-hearted, etc. etc. it was so funny to listen to her ramble on and on like kate was her bff. my mom ... i laugh bc she reminds me a lot of myself. =D

so... i immediately felt the need to blog about this bc i wanted to remember this snapshot of this funny conversation. i think this phone call was the highlight of my day. and so it occurred to me that i want to do a quick project of the week.

the "highlight of the day" blog project. for an entire week, i'd like to post the highlight of my day... even if it doesn't mean much to you people, i'm still gonna do it. haha. =)

so... even though today was a great day of worship, sunshine, seeing cute babies, and fun conversations with friends, i pick this moment as my highlight bc my mom is just too cute sometimes. =D

mia mars? bruno joo?

2011-04-28T23:37:00.003-04:00

so i was thinking about bruno mars yesterday, and i realized that he's the boy version of me. i think we're like the same person. why do all his songs resonate so much with me? i think bc we're the same person!!

i really think bruno mars is an INFJ like me. let me show you some examples:

1. INFJs are fiercely loyal. we will do anything for the people we love - even die for them. it's no problem!

evidence: grenade -

i'd catch a grenade for ya
throw my hand on a blade for ya
i'd jump in front of a train for ya
you know i'd do anything for ya
i would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain,
yes, i would die for you baby, but you won't do the same.

2. INFJs are hopeless romantics. we love love. <3

evidence - just the way you are

when i see your face, there's not a thing that i would change
cuz you're amazing, just the way you are
and when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
cuz girl you're amazing, just the way you are.

3. INFJs are called the protectors. we are really devoted, part of the fiercely loyal quality.

evidence - Count on me

if you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
i'll sail the world to find you.
if you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
i'll be the light to guide you

4. i think bruno is introverted. just like me! we need to have some alone time to recharge.

evidence - The Lazy Song

today I don't feel like doing anything
i just wanna lay in my bed
don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
cuz today i swear i'm not doing anything.

hahaha. me and bruno - we're kindred spirits. i think we'd be best friends. =)

Quote

2011-04-06T14:43:00.000-04:00

"[Forgiveness] is to deal with our emotions…by denying ourselves the dark pleasures of venting them or fondling them in our minds…Once upon a time, I was engaged to a young woman who changed her mind. I forgave her…but in small sums over a year…done when I spoke to her and refrained from rehashing the past, done whenever I renounced jealousy and self-pity when seeing her with another man, done when I praised her to others when I wanted to slice away at her reputation. Those were the payments—but she never saw them. And her own payments were unseen by me…but I do know that she forgave me…(Forgiveness) is more than a matter of refusing to hate someone. It is also a matter of choosing to demonstrate love and acceptance to the offender…Pain is the consequence of sin; there is no easy way to deal with it. Wood, nails and pain are the currency of forgiveness, the love that heals."

Dan Hamilton, Forgiveness

2011-03-31T09:09:00.000-04:00

There is still hope.

feeling a little silly ;)

2011-03-27T21:51:00.001-04:00

hey everyone!

i found some time to record another song! i decided to go the not-so-holy route and did a fun, silly song. haha. i think many of you are going to cringe. =) but whatevs... this is my blog! i'll do what i want!

i also found a better place to record. it turns out my stairwell in my apt building has a great echo effect, so i think you'll have an easier time hearing me this time. yay!

ps. sorry for the mess-up in verse 2. *blush* =)

pps. the flowers in the video are the cherry blossoms that bloom every spring on the BC campus. sighh... i miss those beautiful trees!

enjoy! (again, it's not the best that i can do, but it was fun!)

stepping out from behind the curtain

2011-03-13T20:59:00.000-04:00

during my staycation, i promised myself that i would work on some secret projects. one of the secret projects included trying to work on my singing again.

sadly, my voice has atrophied a LOT from lack of use, so i decided that i needed to start working it out again. and the only way i can do this is to be more public with my singing. so i recorded. dun dun dun!! can u believe it?? =O

it's not my best stuff. i'm quite, quite rusty. but it's a start. please don't be too harsh on me!! sorry this is such a poor production. i don't have a mac, so this is the best way i can record, and i have no mic either. so the volume is soft bc i just had to sing AT my laptop. hahaha. plus, i can't delete parts, so the cough in the beginning, well, you're just gonna have to listen to that too. haha!

enjoy! i promise to do more. =) (unless you guys are like, oh gosh please no.)

ps. song is "lead me to the cross" the brooke fraser version. =)

from the inside out

2011-03-09T02:35:00.000-05:00

last saturday, julia and i went to get a massage from a deal we got from lifebooker. as we approached the building, we both were happily surprised by what we saw. in front of us was a pretty majestic looking building. as we walked through the heavy glass doors, we were surrounded by white marble, and everything just looked super fancy. we even had to go through some pretty high-security measures just to get to the elevator. i found myself thinking, man, there must be some pretty important ppl here bc it's so fancy here, and not just any schlub off the street can get through.

however, when we got to the floor of the doctor's office, we quickly discovered that it was actually not nearly as nice up here as it was down on the lobby floor. as i stared at the wall during my massage, all i could see were old doorknobs, old moldings, thick varnished paint, and faint patches of wood. it was weird to think that they would spend so much money making their lobby so beautiful, and not even do half as good of a job on the rooms themselves.

it made me wonder - do we do this with ourselves? do we go above and beyond to make our outside appearances amazingly beautiful in order to deceive the watching world that we are as put together and gleaming as we seem? are most of us also shells of a person, who in actuality is just a barely renovated, shabby room? once we see the inside, do we want a refund?

it was a terrible thought to think, but sadly, quite possibly true for so many of us.

as part of our lifebooker deal, we also received a chiropractic evaluation. my doctor told me that the cause of all the pains, aches, and allergies of my life were due to my spine not being straight - that some of my spine had become unaligned. once everything was adjusted and re-aligned, all the aches that i felt would disappear, and i'd live a healthy, happy life.

as i sat there and listened to him tell me the importance of re-aligning my spine, it made me wonder - what else in my life has strayed away from my "straight spine"? at the retreat, pastor carl talked about how God's song is beautiful, but when we notice that our songs are off-key, or off-rhythm, it means that we're not in sync with God's song, so we have to get back in. i feel like, the chiropractic theory is very similar to our spiritual walks. if we're not aligned with God's will for our lives, then we will certainly experience aches, troubles, and pain in our lives. but when we're aligned with God, we will stay straight on the right path. i thought about all the times that i tried to do things MY way bc of MY desires and MY wishes. that always got me into trouble. it was only when i readjusted myself to remember that this life is not my own, and turned back to the path i had left, that's when things would feel less strenuous, less painful.

but you know, through both moments of revelation, i saw that outside appearances are so deceiving. on the outside, we look like healthy people. but did you guys know that sometimes i have trouble sleeping at night bc my back hurts? or did you guys know that i am so allergic to insect bites that my entire limb will swell up and i need to ice-pack myself all night? no one knows this bc it's all on the inside. just like the building's exterior and lobby, everything looked beautiful and i had high expectations. i would never have guessed that it would be so dilapidated inside. what's the point of having such an awesome outside when you only look at it for a couple of seconds? it's what's on the inside that you have to live with for a lifetime.

i don't want to be a disappointment to whoever looks at my inside. i want to be as shiny and new and beautiful inside and out to all who see me. no shell - just . . . me.

confusion with being politically correct

2011-01-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

so... a weird revelation happened to me last week.

i was eating dinner with julia yang, chris, and julia lee. chris shared how he realized that bc julia is canadian, she is technically a korean-canadian, while the rest of us are korean-americans.

initially, we were all like, "uhh... duh... chris." but u know, the more i thought about it, the more i realized that it felt strange to say that. KOREAN-CANADIAN. aren't we all sooooo used to hearing the words ___-american? asian-american. chinese-american. etc, etc. it was strange!

BC had a korean student association called ksa. but, my sister's college had one called korean-american student association - kasa. how strange i would have found it if it were called kcsa! it just doesn't roll off the tongue quite as easily!

here's the mind-blowing clincher. we started putting all kinds of nationalities with -canadian. and then all of a sudden - i realized - what do canadian ppl call black ppl? here in america - it's kind of not PC to call someone black, so you call them african-american. but what about in canada?! do we call them african-canadians? for some reason - that made no sense to me. i feel like african-american is a word we made up to stop using the word black didn't we??

and when u think about it internationally - what do you call them in other countries?? african-irish? african-australian? the possibilities are endless!

the whole conversation made me realize how americanized i am. i forget that other countries don't revolve around the US. but seriously - what do you call african americans in other countries???

what a crazy conversation!! chris kept saying how much he loves the US. haha. but u know, i think canada is starting to grow on me. hahaha! and i actually like their national anthem. it's rather cute. =)

the breakup

2011-01-03T15:49:00.000-05:00

it has been a little over a month since we broke up.

"how are you doing?"
"are you okay?"
"oh my gosh, i didn't know. i'm so sorry."
*sympathetic look*

these are things i've heard and seen for a little over a month now.

the answer to all of these questions and looks - i'm doing better.

to be honest, it was pretty terrible at first. i was a wreck. i couldn't be alone. thank goodness for the busy-ness that is new york. distraction is the antidote to sadness.

in the beginning, i kept finding myself reading the blog of a woman who was grieving the sudden death of her husband. you might think to yourself, "how dare mia compare her grief to that a widow?" but you know, we're more similar than you think. this woman, julia, lost her husband. and i lost him - the one who i thought was going to be my husband. i lost the man who i had been building a life with for nearly 3 years. he and i felt every bit like a married couple - at least to me. and i lost him. julia felt the heaviness of her husband's absence. and i felt his absence everywhere in my life. she and i both lost our dreams. with our break up, i lost all the things that i had been dreaming of - the beautiful wedding, the happily ever after marriage, the cute children we could've had, the lifetime of memories and laughter. but most of all - i lost my best friend, someone i loved with all of my heart. i lost all of that. for a little while, i felt like this julia woman was one of the few people who really knew how i felt. and so i kept reading her blog, even though every entry tugged at my heart's most vulnerable places and left me sitting in front of my screen weeping silently for her and for myself. we're more similar than you think.

i can't believe that already 5 weeks have gone by. an entire month. i find it so strange that life keeps on moving - that when you've fallen over, life doesn't pause to wait until you've gotten back up and have caught your breath. but it keeps going, keeps passing by and says, "you better hurry up bc you're losing precious seconds, minutes, hours, days." and yet, 5 weeks and 2 days have gone. 5 weeks and 2 days of a life without him in comparison to 2 years, 8 months and 3 days of a life with him. it's such a sudden change. too sudden if you ask me.

do you ever wonder why it's called a breakup? sure, it's bc what was once one is now broken into two again. but why not call it a breakdown? praise team "breaks down" the equipment. but why do couples "break up"? my theory is that if you call it a "breakdown," it's too depressing. when you break something down, you are tearing it apart until it is no longer functional. so if a couple is no longer together, and both people are so broken that they're no longer functional - then that is a terrible thing to anticipate. maybe we call it a breakUP so that when a couple is no longer together, both people can somehow rise UP and become whole again. there's hope when you look up. but there's nothing but despair when you look down.

i've had a lot of time to think about all that has happened. no matter how mutual a breakup is, it's still one of the saddest and hardest things to do in life. it is the end of something significant. and for me - one who doesn't like change - the one who loves love - well... it's just so sad. there's no other word for it... sad.

i believe that God has a good and perfect plan. and i believe that there is always hope. God has been taking me on a crazy journey - just the 2 of us. sometimes i'm super excited bc i know that wherever God takes me, it's going to be good, bc He loves me so much. sometimes i'm so reluctant to follow bc the path just looks too bleak. for a little while, i was too weak from sadness to move and God had to carry me for me. but either way - we're on this journey - and i can't wait to see where He takes me.

i'm beginning to see a light at the end of this tunnel.
thank God.
hope is slowly seeping back into my heart.
praise the Lord.

some of you might be wondering why i even wrote this entry. why be so public with such a personal and intimate event? i've always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve. these are things that i've wanted to say, but i felt like i couldn't. i didn't want to bum people out, or i wanted to put up a brave front. but truly - this is who i am, this is who i've been, and this is me fumbling to climb out of this mess. but more than that - i'm hoping that months down the line, i will be able to re-read this entry and be able to see how much i've grown - how much God has led me through it. and that i will never forget how this event has shaped who i am - that it will give me hope to keep moving on. julia (the dear audrey blog woman) wrote an entry once about why she writes her blog as well. and the idea word-keeping, as she describes - resonates a lot with me too. read it. and maybe you'll get how i feel too.

i wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been helping me through this. thank you for your comfort. thank you for your prayers. thank you for encouragement and love. thank you for believing in me, even when i refuted you every inch of the way.

"be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

i'm going to be okay. i'm going to be more than okay.

Christmas Wish List

2010-12-08T15:28:00.001-05:00

hi blog world!

it's been a while since i've last written. a ton has happened in the past few months. but for now, i'm going to focus on the fact that christmas is just weeks away!

life has been particularly tough recently, and so i've decided to treat myself to my own christmas presents.

but for those of you out there, who so desire to get me a present, feel free to see what i want!

i've made a quick list of the top 10 things i've been really wanting this christmas. sigh... which one of these things should i get for myself? all of them? haha...

1. The Chronicles of Narnia set

Ideally, i'd like to get this set before the next movie comes out so i can read it, then watch it. but this may not happen. =\

2. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

this book looks so cute to me. i think this is a very mia-style book, no?

3. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

this book looks super interesting to me, but i generally don't buy hardcover books bc i think they're too expensive. but if someone wants to buy it for me, i'd be very happy.

4. jigsaw puzzles!

i've been in the mood to do lots of puzzles these days. so any cute puzzles or intricate puzzles are welcome!

5. Marc Fisher Peep Toe Pumps

omgosh, the second i tried on these shoes, i fell in love. i really love them, but i don't know if i'll ever have an occasion to wear them to, especially bc i'm not really a nude-shoe kind of girl. i usually just get black shoes. but dang... these are such gorgeous shoes. i want to die.

6. a new watch

my current watch is doing pretty badly. it won't keep time very well, and stops/slows down all the time. i really need a new watch. i've stopped wearing a watch now for a few days, and i constantly feel like my wrist is naked and that i'm missing something. just remember - if you're going to get me a watch - i'd prefer if it was kind of like a bangle bracelet bc i can't have something rubbing up against my skin all the time bc of my eczema.

7. a new study bible

i need a new study bible bc i had to throw away my old study bible bc of the fleas. (btw, u guys have no idea how hard it is to physically throw away a bible. it felt really blasphemous to do it, and i almost kept my bible even tho i feared there were flea eggs all over it. in the end, i threw it away knowing that i could always buy another bible. but i was sad bc my sister had given it to me when i first went away to college, and it had a lot of sentimental worth to me. sad!)

anyway... i can't decide which one i should get... i hear good things about this ESV one... but i'm wondering if it's too academic. i think the F (myers briggs) in me would want something more emotion-inducing. any suggestions?

8. The Children's Storybook Bible

julia yang had showed us this awesome children's bible to us at sg, and it was so beautiful, and the stories were really well-written. tim keller highly recommends it to all christians, seminarians, everyone! i really wanna read this, and also read it to my kids.

9. tory burch flats

i've been wanting these shoes for over a year now. they never go on sale. i hate you tory burch! (nono! i take it back, i love u!) morally, i won't let myself pay this much for a ballet flat (i have loans to pay off, u know!), but man, they're so pretty. =(

10. a smartphone

i think i'm finally ready to make the jump and get a smartphone. yes, it'll increase my stalking tendencies a lot, and i may become one of those ppl who are always rudely on their phones while out to dinner. but dang, i think i need one. i get lost a lot, and i think having a gps is very important to me. but overall, i feel kind of lame with my really old flip phone. i'm no grandma! i'm hip! i should have a hip phone to match! =)

thanks for reading my unimportant and unnecessary list of things i want for christmas. i'm probably only going to buy #7 and #8 for myself. but it's nice to be able to daydream that i have tons of money to buy everything on my list.

just out of curiosity - what's on YOUR christmas wish list? =)

apartment hunting - it really is a hunt and not a search.

2010-08-10T16:57:00.000-04:00

i have recently begun the harrowing task that everyone dreads- apt hunting. oy... it is a big pain in the (__|__)!!

have any of you guys ever experienced the roller coaster cycle of emotions that apt hunting entails? here's my cycle:

phase 1 - excitement at the prospect of finding a new home! the world is my oyster!
phase 2 - frustration - why is everything so darn expensive?
phase 3 - God will provide! i am filled with hope!
phase 4 - doubt - am i going to have to live in a rat hole for the next year?
phase 5 - no! i WILL find my new home. semi-excited again!

and then the whole process begins again of feeling frustrated, hopeful, doubtful, and determined.

this whole process has reminded me of a story i once read. here it is in a nutshell:

there was a princess who was given the opportunity to pick the best corn among all the land to bring back to her kingdom to start her own corn farm. however, the only rule was that the corn was laid out in a line in front of her. she had to pick one as she went down the line, but she could not turn back once she passed it. so as the princess walked down the line, she saw some great corn, but kept wondering if something better would be further down the line. and lo and behold, when she got to the end of the line, she had picked no corn and had to go home empty handed.

i think a lot about this princess and how she kept thinking, "what if there's a better corn down there? should i keep going? or is what i see right now the best there is out there?" these "what if" questions plague me! i find myself constantly wondering if i lost out on a great apt bc i was hoping something better would be down the line.

i think overall, this line of thinking correlates a lot with my own faith. my inherent nature is very methodical. i make plans, itineraries, and back-up plans. i weigh the pros and cons of everything causing every decision i make to be very well-thought through. but when it comes to apts, and really other major things in life, there's no way to know all the pros and cons bc i just can't know everything. i have to just let go and know that God is taking good care of me, and guiding me as i go. but without a very obvious sign, i'm left walking down the "line of life" not knowing when i should pick up my own "corn."

ahh sigh. i know that i will eventually find an apt, but man, i can't wait to start packing and start a new chapter of life! =) wish me luck everyone!

ps. if anyone knows of a great apt for me, feel free to make my day! =D

your parents' jobs - a strand of the dna of who we are

2010-07-11T01:56:00.000-04:00

i have recently begun trying to floss on a daily basis.

gosh, i hate flossing. i think it's a huge pain in the butt, and it's time consuming. i always feel like there are so many other/better things i could be doing that's more entertaining than to sit here and floss.

but as i sat here, gloomily flossing, i remembered my good friend ina. back in college, i remember how she once told me that she flossed everyday. and i was shocked that she actually did it (she was flossing in front of me as she said it. haha!) but anyway, the reason she did it was bc her dad was a dentist. so he taught her to floss everyday.

so as i was sitting on my bed, flossing so miserably, i thought about how for ina, flossing must not be such a chore, but rather, just something normal - like washing your face, or peeing. it's just a part of life.

so i started thinking, man, ina's dentist father really influenced ina and her fundamental routine in life! maybe if my father had been a dentist, i wouldn't be so averse to flossing myself. so i started wondering, well, what did MY parents' jobs do to influence me?

well, my parents have had numerous businesses, and i think those have influenced me tremendously.

1. my parents owned a deli for a long time. and bc i had to help out at the store, i had to make sandwiches for the customers. after years of working with cold cuts, to this day, i really hate eating sandwiches. just thinking about turkey sandwiches makes me want to gag. any type of deli meat - i would really prefer not to eat it.

2. for a short time, my parents had a lottery machine in their gift store. after watching so many addicted customers, i will not touch the lottery anymore. i saw too many people (poor ppl to be specific) who squandered their hard-earned money on a DAILY basis to the lottery. it made me so sad to punch in their numbers, or watch them scratch another trap of a lottery ticket - knowing that it was truly a waste of their money. it was really heart-breaking for me.

3. in general, my parents have owned a lot of businesses. and most of the time, it involved a lot of self-sacrifice and no corporate benefits. my parents never had the luxury of health insurance, paid time off, regular working hours, etc. they had to work or else there was no money. so as a result, i NEVER ever want to own my business. and i deathly fear that my future spouse once day will want to venture to own his own business as well. i don't know what i'll do if he has such dreams. all i know is that i am very happy to be a part of corporate america - to have a salary and to have company benefits, and not BE the boss, but to just happily be an employee.

i can think of a lot more things about myself that have directly been influenced bc of my parents' jobs. it's kind of crazy to think about that. right now, i work in publishing. if i continue in this field, i wonder how it'll affect my own children? will they be averse/inclined to magazines? if i keep working for health magazines, will my children be prone to eating healthy or working out? (probably not since i don't live out those morals myself. haha!) but yeah... it's strange to think about how my job will directly influence my kids bc essentially, it's inevitably going to happen.

so readers - how have YOUR parents' jobs influenced who you are? i'm curious to know! =)

cleavage! gasp!

2010-06-13T23:03:00.000-04:00

on friday, i decided to do a little shopping before small group. when i walked into an h&m, there was an employee walking around. i couldn't take my eyes off of her b/c she had on this long dress that had a very "open" top in which, basically, the entire tops of her boobs were exposed. as she walked around, i could see her boobs jiggling around from the movement.

i was shocked! i couldn't believe that an employee was allowed to walk around so unconservatively! =O

it reminded me of an outfit i wore to work earlier this week - it was a tank top with ruffles all down the front of the shirt. by the time i got to work, i realized that gravity was plotting against me, and kept making the ruffles sag down, accidentally causing me to expose more cleavage than i would have preferred. i spent the entire day constantly adjusting my shirt, and watching peoples' eyes to see if they looked below my face level and to my boob level. haha. =P

anyway... i was just shocked at how comfortable some women are with cleavage! i mean, i get it. i see all the magazine covers, the red carpet dresses, the victoria's secret catalogues. guys love seeing sexy clothes. and even though i know it's sexy, i can't get myself to do it too. i just find it so vulnerable!

i think my conservatism comes from my adolescent experiences.

when i was a budding teenager, i went through a bit of a rebellious phase in which i dressed way too sexy/inappropriately for my age. here are some bad outfit choices i made back in the day:

1. i once wore a midriff-baring bellly shirt to church. (yes, it showed my entire belly and belly button!)
2. i used to come to school early in the morning, put on a ton of make up, and then wash it all off before my parents came home from work.
3. for a school dance, i wore a mini-dress - which years later, i discovered was just a long tank top. (i'm so embarrassed!)
4. i used to love anything skin-tight and super short.

what changed all this was one fateful sunday. i wore a red gingham silk scarf around my neck to pretty-up an outfit of mine for church. when i walked down the stairs, my dad took one look at me and made me go change my clothes. he called me a "sool jjeep yujah" which translates in english to "beer-house ho." after that day, i became really conscious about what i wore and not looking like a hooker. and now, i am who i am today.

for all u girls out there - how do you feel about showing cleavage? are you comfortable with it? does it make u feel sexy or uncomfortable?

and for all you guys out there - how do you feel about your own friends and girlfriends and when they expose cleavage. are you uncomfortable or think it's normal?

okay... that's it. i don't think i've written the word "boob" so many times in 1 entry before. hahaha! =)

Negotiating

2010-05-19T13:35:00.000-04:00

so, i recently have had to negotiate salary for a job offer, and man - the whole process really messes with your head.

first, i had to research what industry standards are for my position. then i had to figure out what i wanted to highball with.

and while i understand the whole process of me asking for a higher range so that the offer will eventually land in the area i want it to, i can't help but think - the negotiation process is so judgmental!

both parties are thinking and calculating - what is mia worth? and this is an awful feeling. my roommate lisa (my personal cheerleader) REALLY believes in me - that i'm valuable and that i'm worth a lot of money. but as i spent hours and hours thinking about myself, weighing my skills, my lack or abundance of experience, my intelligence, my personality - i really wondered- how much am i worth? lisa is so sure, while i'm so UNsure.

as i spent this weekend praying, i saw that God thinks i'm worth so much - enough to sacrifice His only Son to save my little life. but the world i live in - it probably doesn't think i'm worth that much b/c i don't have an ivy league degree or a background in finance, and therefore i deserve to be paid little.

i'm really hating this whole process b/c i hate haggling (it's really not my nature), and i hate being judged. and then afterwards - whatever u end up with - it becomes a label. i imagine myself in a grocery store. and there u see - mia! in a big box (sort of like a giant barbie) sitting on a shelf, with the price tag stuck on the outside of the box. and there walks by various companies - thinking to themselves, "Hmm... will mia ever go on sale? is there a coupon for her? is this a good deal? is she worth the money or can i find something better?"

corporate life is so judgmental. we get evaluated every year, and we get raises and bonuses that are commensurate with how hard we worked and achieved success. we have resumes that people skim in 5 seconds and label you "qualified" or "not qualified" when it took you years to build up everything on that 1 sheet of paper.

negotiation - it's not just about the money - it's so much more.

on a happy note - i have a new job! =) hallelujah!

San Francisco!

2010-04-29T17:13:00.000-04:00

* for some reason, the formatting is getting all weird. so the captions/paragraphs don't match the pics. sorry!

Sorry for the delayed blog entry! i've been so busy at work that i haven't had time to blog about me and walter's trip to san francisco! it was my first real vacation ever, and i had so much fun! since i never post up facebook albums, i'll post a few of my favorite pics here on my blog!

here is us at 5am waiting for the air tran to get to jfk. we are very tired.

first thing we did was go to in-n-out! my first time! it was quite tasty!

so then we drove to santa cruz and i got to see the pacific ocean for the time! it was so beautiful! the water is so blue and clean! no pebbles, no shells, no floating seaweed! couldn't believe!

(walter's attempt at jumping pics are so sad. he just looks like's levitating in the air. it's such a contrast next to my obvious excitement. haha!)

here are walter's friends from dartmouth: nannan and harry. this is nannan's first time eating funnel cake. i'm glad i was able to be part of his first time, considering i am a funnel cake monger. =)

we then drove down to carmel. this is where i truly fell in love with the pacific ocean. it was the most beautiful place i've ever laid eyes on. too bad my picture barely captures the magnificence of God's beauty.

(for you golf lovers, in the background, you can see pebble beach.

the next day, we had a day of wine tasting in napa. on the drive to one of the places we went to, Kuletto's, we saw oprah's house on top of a mountain! how cool is that??
walter and i went on a duck tour of SF. in case you don't know what a duck tour is - it's a vehicle that can travel on land AND water! so part of our tour was driving around SF, and then we traveled in the water!

i got to drive the duck boat while we were in the water! it was fun, but a little stressful! =)

on tues, walter and i took the trolley to fisherman's wharf.

animal-shaped bread at boudin bakery! (yes, i bought one and ate it. i felt bad eating him...)

Best 2 lb crab i ever ate. soooooooo tasty!

we then went to alcatraz for the audio tour. it was pretty cool, but kind of creepy since u hear the actual former jail ppl narrating what it was like. =(

(had the cutest and tastiest mini donuts from brian's recommendation. thanks brian!)

on wed, we went to mama's for brunch. (thanks joanne and grace for the suggestion!) it was AMAZING. soooo tasty. the first thing i ate was a chocolate drizzle coffee crumb cake. it was all warm and soft. so delicious!

on thurs, walter and i did more sightseeing - chinatown, grace cathedral, etc. we had to walk up one of sf's notoriously steep hills. i thought i was slowly dying. i had to take breaks every few steps. look at how steep it is! sometimes, they build staircases into the sidewalk bc it's just easier to walk up steps than to walk up the hill!

we then went all the way to the land's end, went to see the cliffs and ancient bathhouse ruins. very cool, but pretty dangerous. apparently lots of ppl have died from falling off the cliffs and drowning. i've never seen the ocean look so angry. i felt like i could've been an extra on Lost. haha.

on friday, we went to the mission, and went to Ike's Place. (saw it on Man vs Food.) it was the BEST sandwich i've ever eaten in my life, hands down. everyone needs to go here.

We then went to Bi-Rite Creamery based on grace cho's recommendation. i think walter was skeptical about how good the salted caramel ice cream would be, but it was surprisingly good!

later that day, we went to a bunch of places like lombard street, the full house houses, twin peaks. my fave pic was when walter and i tried to re-enact the opening scene for Full House when the tanner family runs down the hill. haha! =D (thanks harry for being a good sport about taking such cheesy pics for us! and thanks walter for agreeing to be part of this embarrassing reenactment!)

on friday, walter and i biked across the golden gate bridge. it was super tiring, but worth it! totally a once in a lifetime thing, but i will never do it again. our poor butts were so sore for days.

(the bridge is REALLY windy! walter hasn't cut his hair in 4 months in this pic. haha! in the 2nd pic, we're resting in sausolite! we made it to the other side!)

on our last day, we went to a giants vs cardinals game. got to see albert pujols! (jen was so proud!) these are walter's dartmouth friends again: nannan, brian, harry.

and finally, here we are - devastated to come back to ny. when the pilot said, "welcome to ny!" we both whimpered with sadness.

some thoughts i had while i was in sf:

1. sf is a missionary's land of surplus. there are sooooooo many homeless people. there's one every 5 feet. i was shocked at how many there are compared to nyc! i thought we had a lot, but man, i guess i was totally wrong. interestingly, i did see a bunch of times where ppl would talk to them about God and stuff. so like i said - it's a missionary's land of opportunity.

2. boys love sportscenter and espn and can watch the same game over and over in the highlights, and talk about it forever, and yet, it will never die or get beaten to death. dang... i've never had to sit through so much espn in my entire life. i missed my girly shows!

3. i think bc sf was the original chinatown in history, there are a LOT of asian ppl. i got really sad bc everywhere we went, the low-wage employees were asian ppl. many of them were older asian employees. i guess, being from ny, i'm used to seeing spanish people being the minorities who would work these low-paying jobs. but seeing asian ppl really struck a sad chord in me. made me think that it could be someone like my own parents doing this kind of stuff.

4. overall- i had a GREAT time in sf! it was so fun and relaxing! thanks harry for taking care of us and driving us everywhere! nannan/crane - thanks for cooking for us! u guys are pretty awesome! i can't wait to go on my next vacation! i think i officially now have the travel bug. =D

hope u guys had fun looking at my pics! =)

a mini break from life

2010-03-27T03:46:00.000-04:00

today, i ate at a diner by myself for the first time in my life. no, it's not bc i'm a loser and have no friends. but i actually wanted to eat at a diner by myself with a good book in my free hand.

it was an interesting experience. for a long time, i was in my own world, wholly absorbed in my book, while my other hand slowly and mindlessly put more food into my mouth. it was so nice. a treat for my mouth, and a treat for my brain. (murder mystery - can't put it down.)

after i started feeling full, i put the book down, and looked around at my surroundings. there was a son with his elderly father. as they put on their coats, they said to the waitress, "see you tomorrow!" it surprised me that they must eat here everyday. at the next table, a woman was eating pancakes by herself. we made eye contact for a moment, and i wondered if she felt lonely, or if she thought i was lonely. i wondered if she was judging me for being here by myself. but then again, i really didn't care.

i put my book down, stared out the window, and fell in love with the blue sky and sun shining down on me. i felt like this was what my life should be like - sleeping in (no exhaustion), eating a full, delicious breakfast (not just a granola bar), reading leisurely (not working), and basking in the sun (not trapped in a cube). it felt so glorious to have had such a quiet moment to myself. i felt so dramatic - like i was seeing myself in a movie. the pensive girl, feet propped up on the seat in front of her, little argyle socks poking out, hair swept up in a messy ponytale with wispy bangs falling against her cheek, broodingly journaling the secret thoughts in her heart. (no, i didn't have my journal with me, but it's for theatrical effect.) haha. i know, i'm so melodramatic, but i'm a sucker for this kind of thing.

sigh. it was a beautiful way to start my day. i wish i could have more of these days. perhaps it really was my muse. it got me writing again in this blog, didn't it? oh glorious quiet day - please come back and visit me again sometime soon. =)

parting is such sweet sorrow

2010-02-11T23:33:00.000-05:00

i knew this day was coming. every time i did laundry, i could feel the fabric becoming thinner and weaker. i could see the fading of the bright pink color into the pallor of old age. my jammie pants were dying, and there was nothing i could do to stop it.

yesterday, as i stayed in my jammies all day b/c of my snow day from work (muhahaha!) i felt something weird on my thigh. lo and behold - a tear had formed on my right butt cheek. so i thought, okay, this isn't good, but this isn't bad. i can still wear them a little more, as long as i'm careful.

but after an entire day of lying in my bed watching tv shows and movies, then moving to the couch to read magazine after magazine, by the time i went to bed, i noticed that something felt horribly wrong with my jammie pants.

and when i finally went to the mirror, i saw the grim reaper face to face.

i took off my jammie pants for the last time, let out a shout of grief of "NOOOO!! WHY GOD WHY??!!" and folded them up.

good bye jammie pants. i wore you for at least 3 years. you were good to me. you made me feel at home. your vibrant pink color with flowers always made me feel a little more cheerful than i had been before. goodbye... i'll miss you! =(

handcuffs, rehab, and grace - oh my!

2010-01-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

yesterday, while i was at old navy, i saw 2 police officers walking with 2 teenage girls. when they passed me by, i saw that the 2 girls were handcuffed. it was quite shocking for me. i've never actually seen someone up close handcuffed and being taken out by police, and also, i was rather frightened by the fact that they were mere inches from me, and could've attacked me if they had wanted to.

but what really surprised me were the girls' expressions. when they had passed me by, i had looked straight into their eyes. i had expected to see fear in their eyes, but instead, all i saw was some form of extreme annoyance or anger. there was not a single ounce of remorse in their faces - only a grimace.

i couldn't help but remember my own childhood. i'm ashamed to admit this, but when i was an adolescent, i used to have a stealing problem. i only stole small things, but there was a reason to that. whenever i stood in front of the object i wanted to steal, worst-case scenarios always played through my head. i imagined getting caught by the store, and then the police coming and handcuffing me and hauling me away in a police car, where i'd have to sit in a jail cell, surrounded by other criminals, and then have to shamefully call my parents with a quarter, and explain to them what i had done - all for what? a small tube of nail polish. in those moments of being paralyzed with fear of my vivid imaginations, i always wavered between what i should do and what i wanted to do. and sometimes, my fear would prevent me from stealing. i always thought that if i DID get caught stealing, the police would drag me out of there crying and begging for mercy.

but these girls did not. i stood there, watching the girls walk away with their hands handcuffed behind them, with the police with a strong grip on their arms, and there were no tears falling down their faces. there was no screaming for mercy. why were they so angry? were they just annoyed for getting caught? why didn't they feel scared about spending a night in jail?

i stood there for a while, (unable to shop) wondering what was the difference between me and those girls. why did we have such different reactions? and the only thing i could think of was Jesus. i knew what was wrong and right, and i knew that i didn't want to face judgment from my parents, the law, and my Father, and i knew that i didn't want to jeopardize my spot in heaven for a measly tube of lip gloss. but maybe these girls didn't know Jesus. maybe they didn't feel like they had anything to lose if they disobeyed the law. maybe they didn't know what it felt like to feel the disappointment of the ones who love you and believe in you.

it reminded me of the past few nights in my apt. one of my roommates is really into this show called "celebrity rehab with dr. drew." and after every episode she watches, she always comes running into our rooms exclaiming how these people need Jesus so badly. that their lives would be so much less disastrous if they only knew and felt the love of God in their lives. how different would our world be if we all did? would there even be a show called celebrity rehab if we all had God as our best buddy?

man, i forget what the world is like sometimes b/c i'm so involved in my christian church bubble. i forget sometimes that there are REAL people out there who are so broken or so unaware of all that God can offer. how much better is a spot in heaven than to steal a pair of jeans from old navy? how much better is the peace of God compared to a shot of heroin?

who would've thought a quick stop in old navy would've been this eye-opening? =)

2009 - a year in recap

2010-01-16T14:45:00.000-05:00

hi all!

long time no post! this entry is a little late - but i've been suffering/recovering from food poisoning, so it's been delayed a few days. haha.

since the last week of december to now, i've been thinking a lot about 2009. was it a good year? was it a bad year? am i looking forward to 2010? to be honest - i actually was NOT looking forward to 2010 b/c i felt like there were no good things to look forward to, b/c there weren't any definite good things that i knew were going to happen in the coming year. and b/c i'm still attending the wounds of 2009, i just wasn't seeing the rainbow to my hope.

so i said, mia - it's time you think about 2009 really carefully. was it really all that bad? i bet u can think of SOME good things about 2009. and so i did. i made a list of all the memorable things of 2009 - good and bad. here we go!

bad memories:
1. going to the dentist every weekend for 3 months to get 2 root canals. eek! those were some unpleasant weekends of having a sore mouth. haha, and man, for 3 months, i could only eat on one side of my mouth at a time. that made my slow-eating habits even slower!

2. going to the gym for what seemed like an eternity in order to get hot for bryan/carol's wedding. (which didn't even work in the end!!) man, i hate the gym. the smell, the sights, the routine-ness of it all - it reminds me of prison! i also did not enjoy eating so many salads. haha.

3. moving out of my briarwood studio. that was such a sad time! i lived in that studio for 3 years, and i was finally leaving it to move closer to walter, closer to work, and cheap rent. it was so, so hard for me to say goodbye. i loved that apt! it was so cute and mia-esque! i cried a lot as i locked my door for the last time.

4. FLEAS. eugh... just thinking about it makes me cranky. man, going through something like eradicating a flea situation is so hard on your patience and overall outlook on life. going home every night, knowing and seeing the fleas jump around on my bed was horrible. washing all my clothes every weekend was ridiculously annoying and time-consuming and expensive. cleaning the house from head to toe was exhausting and frustrating b/c there seemed to be no fruit from it. the fleas would still be there, and we would continue our endless misery. man, i wish fleas upon no one. and if i ever see my exterminator again, i will give him a BIG HUG for bringing joy back into my life. ahh, pesticides - how i love you.

5. and the worst memory of all - my awful work situation from june - oct. it was a long time for me to be so miserable at work. sigh. all the crying and stress is still so fresh in my mind. it was so painful for me to try to be faithful in truly believing that God had a purpose for this - and that it would eventually come to an end. man, i was such an unpleasant person during those months. if u looked up the word debbie downer in the dictionary - u'd see my picture. the only plus to this whole awfulness was how much weight i lost due to stress. i finally got down to my original weight, and my clothes fit again! haha. sigh - not eating for a few months will do that to u.

u may be saying to yourself - dang, mia had a rough year. and yes, yes she did. but here's what made 2009 good!

1. the awesomeness called Lost. haha, walter and i watched Lost seasons 2-present all in the span of a few short months. it was glorious. i couldn't stop watching. sure, we didn't see sunlight much on the weekends, but whatever. i couldn't tear myself away from the juiciness of all that this crazy island brings.

2. wedding videographer - stillmotion. man, they changed my life. after i saw their amazing talent, it opened doors to my imagination and gave me a renewed passion for romance and love. hahaha. u guys have no idea how many wedding videos i watched and teared up to.

3. new roommates. having lived alone for 3 years made me quite wary of living with roommates again. i wasn't sure if i could do it - let alone if i would like it. i quite enjoyed having my privacy, my ability to walk around in my underwear if i pleased, and to be able to sing at the top of my lungs without anyone to bother. but u know, God surprised me with this one. i expected at most friendship with my 2 roommies. but i never expected this - accountability, sisterhood, prayer warriors, and just plain fun. haha. it's been great!

4. brooklyn bridge! walter and i walked across the brooklyn bridge. it was awesome! it felt like an adventure as we walked from one borough to another. there's just something romantic about walking hand in hand with the one u love under the stars with the city lights aglow all around - especially with a destination of a famous ice cream place in mind. haha. =)

5. weddings and engagements. i got to stand in bryan/carol's wedding - one of my beloved friends. man, i couldn't stop crying that whole day. and i got to be paparazzi for the first time for carol/calvin's engagement. it was beautiful to be part of such a special moment. i love love - but it's amazing to be part of other people's love.

6. Glee! i love this show! good songs, good singing, ridiculous storylines, fun characters! what's not to love? ah, this show brings me so much weekly joy. life had a burst of happiness to look forward to every week. i can't wait til it's back!

7. christmas acappella. the resurrection of my past life. sigh. from warming up to the thrill/nausea of performing. i love it all. i forgot how i much i missed it. it was such a gift to be able to have been able to get a taste of it again.

8. being santa to my family. gift giving is my love language, and it brings me a lot of joy to be able to buy presents for my family and loved ones. u know, i may not make a lot of money, but i don't care. when it's christmas, i just can't help but want to shower my family with gifts i know they'll love. and i thank God for Jesus' birthday so that i can have this chance every year to bring a little joy to everyone else.

overall - when i think about the good vs the bad, i think the good outweighs the bad. and yeah, there were definitely a LOT of rough times this year, but i'm glad i did this exercise of gratitude. no matter how bad things may seem, or even are, there are always, ALWAYS, reasons to smile. and most of all, i'm thankful for how much i grew this year. God did a lot of stretching to this body of mine. i whined and cried through most of it, but i'm still alive and kicking - thanks to His grace, and thanks to my close friends, family, and bf who prayed for me and stuck by me even tho i was not a fun gal to be around. i survived, and i think i'm a little stronger for it.

here's to 2010! hope it's a good one! =)

ba da doo --- Change in my life...

2009-12-07T14:41:00.000-05:00

this entry will probably not be relevant to people who weren't in atc, or any other christian acappella group out there -- so i'm sorry if you're bored...

anyhoo.... my church has decided to do a special christmas acappella song, and reached out to all the former christian acappella members of our church. interestingly, we had people ranging from columbia, nyu, me from BC, duke, and maybe dartmouth (do it walter!!).

as we were standing around thinking about how we should warm up, someone was like - why don't we just all sing "change in my life." hahaha. i realized that it's true - nearly every christian acappella group on the east coast has done change in my life!

so - even though we all have different arrangements memorized, it still worked! and somehow, miraculously, i was able to recall the soprano line for change in my life - and we actually sang most of the song just by pure recollection from like 5 years ago!! it was hilarious and awesome all at the same time!

i must say - it felt sooooooo good to be singing those dum dums again. i felt a part of my soul come alive again as i remembered some of my most happiest times in life when i was in atc. i can honestly say - i can't wait to see how the song fleshes out, and i'm super excited! i feel like i'm in college again. and even as we stood around in a circle singing our notes, laughing at each other when we couldn't remember what came next, or we sang on the off beat, it was just a grand old time - just like the old days!

at our next practice, i'm bringing my pitch pipe!! ahhh! i love that thing!! =D

sighhhh--- atc - if you're reading this - i miss you guys!! =)

Baby Names!

2009-12-03T23:40:00.000-05:00

hey everyone!

i was reading my google reader today, and someone posted this article on most popular baby names of 2009 in NYC, and i was shocked to see that mia made it to the list!!

http://gothamist.com/2009/12/02/sophia_and_jayden_oust_isabella_and.php

i couldn't believe my eyes b/c my name has never been a very popular name, and now - after 26 years of living, it has finally happened! i was pretty happy to see that i was in the top 10, b/c growing up, mia, for some reason, was hard for people to pronounce.

people seem to always first guess to say it like maya. other times, when i order food, people write my name down as mea. (and honestly, that just looks like such an ugly combination of letters!)

anyhoo, i'm glad that the name is coming back into style. but it reminded me of how i tried to change my name a lot when i was younger.

7th grade - i really wanted to be julie. i thought it was such a lovely name. it was cute, but pretty. unfortunately, i hated the pairing of julie joo. too many j's and too many ooh syllables. so i had to forego that dream pretty quickly.

9th grade - i really wanted to be christine. i thought, yeah, this name is mature sounding, but also delicate. christine joo - that doesn't have any weird alliteration, and it's got a good flow. but for some reason, all my friends couldn't imagine me as a christine. so again, had to forego that dream.

10th grade - i really wanted to be misty. hahaha. i know, i know. it's ludicrous. but hear me out - this was prior to the days of pokemon, so misty was still an unknown, non-cartoon-associated name. i loved it b/c it kept the M of my real name, and it had a mysterious quality, but also a fun, quirky side. i wanted to be known as a the girl who was mysterious, fun, but quirky! but as u can expect, misty was horribly ridiculed by my buddies, and they, fortunately, convinced me out of it.

in the end, i never ended up changing my name, and i even grew to like my name. i grew to enjoy the rarity of my name, and how i'd always be unique somehow. even if i may look and act like a lot of other asian girls - at least in name, i'd always be set apart.

so to all the mia's out there being born in 2009, welcome to my world! but it will probably be a different world for u b/c apparently most nyc babies will be named mia. haha! ur story will be opposite of mine. but hey, we're still a unique group of girls! =)

oh umma...

2009-11-29T22:38:00.000-05:00

hi folks! long time no update! =)

over thanksgiving, i had a funny conversation with my mom and my sister. (all the men of the family had fallen asleep... typical...)

anyway, my mom was asking me about whether we fight with our respective men (me and my bf, my sister and her hubby). and of course, we agreed that we all fight. so then my mom was curious to know what we all fight about b/c she felt like she and my dad fight about the most annoying things.

so then, she got really close to us and started telling us about one of the fights they frequently had. by the way she put her face close to ours, i couldn't help but think, oh man, this must be a big one.

here's what she said loosely translated into english:

"sometimes, at night, when your dad and i are watching tv, when the show goes to commercial, he takes the remote and starts flipping channels! and most of the time, i'm okay with it, but he flips through it SOOO fast! it makes me dizzy! so then i say, honey! why can't you just leave it on the same channel? why do you have to flip so much?!" it drives me crazy!!"

my mom then looks to me and my sister for sympathy, and we burst into laughter! =D i was totally expecting some kind of big issue, and here it is - the age-old remote-control argument. hahaha! my sister and i then tried to explain to my mom about how this is a very common argument that married ppl have. it's not just her - but everyone! so many tv shows parody this common argument and that it's just comical to see her complain about it!

sigh. as i later lay in my bed thinking about that funny conversation, it made me wonder - why did my mom not know that this was such a common argument for married couples? and i realized that it's b/c my mom doesn't really have girlfriends to share this kind of stuff with. (if you're asking why, it's a long explanation regarding the inability of 1st generation korean people to be vulnerable with each other.) but anyway, it made me realize how important it is for us to have friends and especially friends who are in similar life stages as us. there are plenty of times when i feel like i'm the only person going through my struggles, and then bam, as soon as i share it, i will probably find someone who's gone through it, and can help me to know i'm not alone, and perfectly normal. we really need community and friends. no man is an island. and when we end up on an island by ourselves, hurry up and go find some friends or else you'll never survive.

man, can't believe thanksgiving has come and gone already. i feel like i was looking forward to it for so long, and now it is already past. oyy. oh well... must look forward to christmas now! =) bye now!

although we've come... to the end... of the road...

2009-10-18T22:31:00.000-04:00

today is the last day of my experiment. it is the end of my week-long blogging.

you might be asking: why did you embark upon such an experiment?

well, back in august, i watched the movie "julie and julia," and i really related to the character julie. we were both aspiring writers who worked at jobs where we were unappreciated and unsatisfied, and felt like we could do far more in life. at the end of her year long blogging/cooking experiment, amazing things had happened to her. (and this is based on a true story!)

while i never expected huge miracles to happen after this week, i did expect to see/discover something.

so here are some things i learned in this week:

1. i have a newfound respect for writers who write columns, or anything that's pretty daily. it was hard to find new and interesting stuff to write about each night. and some days, there were moments where i'd be like, oh crap, it's getting late and i still have no idea what to write about. it would've been nice to give up and just go to sleep, but i pressed on. man, if it were my job, i'd feel a lot of pressure on a pretty daily basis, and i do not want that for myself whatsoever!

2. i was happy to find out that i hadn't completely atrophied all of my writing/creative styles as i thought i had. there was still some juice in these fingers, and writing came back pretty naturally.

3. the more often you write, the less people comment. (if this is not true of the rest of the world, i'm just gonna be sad. hahaha.) i was anticipating to develop a kind of relationship with my readers, in which we could all be discussing and commenting back and forth on topics that were written about. but it never happened. it made me wonder if ppl just started to read my blog like i was cnn or something. something to check - but not to engage in. ppl - if u have any insights, please enlighten me!

4. i actually DO have time to blog everyday. all this time, i always said i didn't have time to write entries. but when it came down to it, i could always make time, and after i did write, i always felt a sense of satisfaction that i had not only fulfilled my duty, but that i had beaten my own odds. however, i will say, on some days, i just desperately wanted to knock out and go to bed without writing. even yesterday, i had to drag myself out of my nap at 2am to go write an entry. hahaha.

well... anyway, i've thought about whether i will continue this writing streak. i think i'm gonna try to blog more frequently than i did before, but i'm not going to force myself to write everyday. too much unnecessary pressure to give myself. but this experiment has whetted my passion to write creative stuff again, and hopefully, time-willing, i will be able to dabble in it from time to time. it's good to know that while i can become rusty, i will never forget how to ride this bike. =)

hope u guys had fun during this week with me! and i hope u guys got to see what the inside of my brain is like! =)

mia vs food?

2009-10-18T01:56:00.000-04:00

there's a tv show called "Man vs Food" that i really love. i recently discovered that i'm not the only person who loves this show. (haha. honestly, i thought i was the only one who had found this amazingly awesome show, and that the rest of the world was clueless to this gem of a show. but alas, i was wrong. turns out, a lot of ppl i know also love this show!)

anyhoo, in case you don't know the premise of this show, there's this guy named adam who goes around across the U.S. and goes to all the best places to eat in each city he goes to. at the end of the show, he goes to some restaurant that has a famous food-eating contest and tries to tackle it. (ex: eating like 12 lb omelets, or 7 gallons of ice cream in a sundae, or eating pounds of burger and pound of fries in an hour.)

whenever i watch this show, i can't help but feel like, man, adam's job is awesome!! all he does is get to eat the best food, travel and see the country, and get cheered by random strangers. how awesome does that sound?? but i do worry about adam a lot. every episode i watch, he seems to be chubbier than the last. i know for sure, he is not the same size as when he first started this show. also, he's not married. so i can't help but wonder if it's hard for him to meet women b/c of his job. he's probably never in one location long enough to woo a woman enough for her to want to be in a long distance relationship with him.

so... i thought about it more, and i wondered... would i ever be able to do adam's job? (let's just imagine that i did have the stomach prowess of adam to even be able to do the food contests he attempts.) would i be able to sacrifice my health for the sake of a job? would i be able to sacrifice my personal life for the sake of my job? i'm not sure! adam's job does not sound so appealing anymore. i can't help but feel like he's shortening his own life expectancy, and that can't be a good thing. part of the reason i quit being a teacher was b/c it had taken such a toll on my physical health, and i felt like i had lost all of my social life, and i was just a working/teaching machine.

yeah... i don't think i could do adam's job. no "Mia vs Food" show is going to happen. thanks adam for doing the dirty work for us. it's been a joy to watch this show, but i'm happy to just be drooling on my couch, and not having to deal with the heartburn myself. =)

cell phones - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em

2009-10-17T02:31:00.000-04:00

sorry guys, but i almost forgot to blog tonight. but no worries, i'm here now. =)

tonight, at large group, as part of the ice breaker, they posed the question: if there was a fire, what 3 things would you grab? cell phone was a pretty common answer i heard.

do u remember back in the day when no one had cell phones? man, i remember all the times when my sister and i would yell at each other at the top of our lungs fighting over the phone. when anyone tried to call in for me while she was on the phone, she ignored that beep. i bet kids these days don't fight about THAT anymore. they can just talk on their cell phones in their own rooms b/c no one is tying up the phone line.

it's weird how cell phones have changed our lives. i remember back in 2004, when i got hit by a car, i didn't have a cell phone, and someone in the street had to lend me their phone so i could call my family. luckily, i had my sister's work number memorized. but man, if i were to get hit by a car today, i'd have a pretty hard time remembering what my parents' cell phone number was. we've become a society that is so dependent on our phones that it's scary to think about what we'd be like if we didn't have them.

remember in the past, if u didn't carry a camera around, u missed opportunities to capture things on film. but now, just whip out your phone, and take a picture.

remember doing the whole collect-call trick where you yell at your mom to pick u up before they actually charge u? now we have hundreds of minutes on our plans to not have to worry about those kinds of fees.

but then again, isn't it scary how kids these days can text faster than they can type on a full size keyboard?

and isn't it scary how 1 cell phone hack can ruin a person's life?

it's so weird... the more i think about it, the more i feel like cell phones are kind of like those scary theories about how robots/machines will one day turn against us and enslave us all. while on the one hand, cell phones are so useful and make our lives easier, on the other hand, it changes society in crazy ways. man, what a trip...

sorry... just in a weird thought cloud tonight... goodnight!

to shower or not to shower

2009-10-16T00:40:00.000-04:00

tonight, i fell asleep on my bed as i was surfing facebook. but then, an hour later, i woke up - i woke up to the anxious knot in my stomach b/c my body was saying, "stop sleeping mia. you have unfinished business. now get up and shower before you sleep!"

ah, the age old debate - what's better? to shower at night or in the morning? my whole life, i was a morning showerer. i felt like it wasn't morning unless i showered. i couldn't truly wake up unless i showered. i thought, ah, nice and clean for a new day.

but then, when i was a teacher, my mom asked me why i showered in the morning. she said that i could get more sleep in the morning if i showered at night b/c then all i'd have to do in the morning was just wake up, do my morning routine, and go to work. no need to shower, dry off, etc - and add a good 20-30min of glorious sleep.

after i tested it out, i discovered that showering at night had a lot of benefits!
1. i really did get extra sleep in the morning.
2. i woke up with awesomely voluminous hair! (ooh la la, hair model!)
3. i felt like i had washed the day's germs off me, and now my bed was a clean sanctuary to sleep in.

u know, i had never realized how gross it was to not shower at night - and what it meant for your bed. i think most ppl are like me, and like to lean their heads on the subway walls if you're sitting down. and if u really think about it, when u lean your head on the wall, a good dozen other people have probably done the same thing. what if they all didn't shower? then all their dirty hair germs are now on MY head!! what if the guy who sneezed next to me got some tiny water droplets on my arm? if i don't shower, then i'm just bringing his sneeze into my bed!!

the more i thought about it, the more horrified i got. therefore, i've now become a big proponent of night showering. i think it just makes good sense to wash the day off you, and to enter into a bed that has only been occupied by your clean body night after night.

but, i will say this - night showering is annoying. sometimes, man, all u want to do is just crawl into bed. i had such a long, draining day today, and i wanted nothing more than to just snuggle up in my blanket and sleep away the fatigue. but like i said at the start of this entry, my body knew that it was just gross for me to sleep like this, and nagged me into awakeness. stupid body of mine - just let me sleep!!

oh well. at least the shower woke me up enough to write this blog entry. =)

sporty spice?

2009-10-14T23:40:00.000-04:00

i recently was chatting with a friend about how he wanted to have a gf who was sporty. in my head, i couldn't help but think -- eugh, typical. but in reality, i think i only feel that way b/c i'm so athletically challenged. i can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy when i see other girls who can hold their own in a game of whiffle ball or flag football. but u know, i wasn't always this way.

when i was in elementary school, i was the fastest girl in the 2nd grade! i could out-run all the girls, and i even almost beat the fastest boy in the 2nd grade! from 3rd - 5th grades, i was in gymnastics and performed in the annual gymnastics show. i did roundoffs, back bends, floor routines, everything! i was pretty darn good!

but then, something happened once i hit puberty. it's like adolescence replaced my pseudo-athleticism with jello for arms and stumps for legs. my god, to this day, when i think about that stupid yearly rope-climb. *shudder* that was the bane of my existence!! who can climb a rope with nothing but your arms to get you up there?? that's just mean! >=(

and so, i learned to replace my lack of sports ability with what i COULD do well - be a nerd and sing.

i often ask myself a lot now - would i rather have a child who was a musical prodigy or a superstar athlete? personally, i choose musical prodigy. i think it's such a useful talent to have. you're not limited to seasons/weather; you can entertain large crowds; you can use it to woo a love interest; and u generally don't need a whole team to make you shine amidst them. it's just more efficient! haha.

but, i will say, i still wish i was a little more athletic AND still sing. i'd love to be able to not be picked last for a team. i'd like to be the one to shoot the winning basket, score a touchdown, bowl a strike! oh well, i guess i'll just have to settle for singing the anthem. hahaha. =)

so readers - would you rather be a superstar athlete or a musical prodigy?

Hannukah - what an ingenious idea!

2009-10-14T00:42:00.000-04:00

so a couple of weeks ago, walter found me this great deal on slickdeals to buy 10 victoria's secret panties for only $25! that is a huge deal compared to the usual 5 for $25 crap they try to feed us. but anyway, as i browsed the site and put things into my shopping cart, i discovered that some of the panties i ordered were backordered and wouldn't be shipped until later.

at first, i was kinda bummed out. i wanted to get all 10 panties at once and not piece-meal. but in the end, i decided it was better to have 10 panties i really like at a slower rate, rather than 10 mediocre panties at a fast rate.

but i must say - it has changed my perspective! every few days now, i receive a new package from victoria's secret holding 1 or 2 panties in each bag! and honestly, it feels like hannukah! (granted, i've never celebrated hannukah, but this is how i imagine it would be!) what an ingenius idea! RECEIVING PRESENTS -- ELONGATED!!! who doesn't love receiving presents? and if u can get them every few days? isn't that soooo much fun?? =D

now, every time i see that beautiful email so eloquently titled "shipment confirmation" light up in my inbox, i get filled with joy! it means another package is coming! another goodie full of happiness is "confirmed" to "ship" to my attention! how amazing!!

u know, my love language is gift giving, and personally, i like receiving gifts too. sadly tho, growing up in a poor family, i rarely received presents. (christmas, birthdays, graduations - nada) so i never really got to enjoy my own love language. but u know, buying these panties, and receiving them one by one in the mail, has been such a huge joy and blessing for me. it gives me something to look forward to, and hope of knowing that another joy is on its way. what an awesome way to perceive life, no?

i received 2 more today. i only have 3 more panties left to be shipped. thank goodness walter bought me a random gift and i have that to look forward to as well. haha. this reminds of me of how my roommates think i'm crazy for getting so many catalogs in the mail. honestly - i like receiving mail! why? it makes me feel special! hey - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to bring a little fun into her life.

so, in conclusion, i really encourage you guys to not lump all of your joy into one big bundle. it's so much more fun and literally life-changing when you enjoy small gifts in your daily life. it truly feels like christmas every day! =D

nap time

2009-10-12T22:24:00.001-04:00

man, i almost failed my own experiment.

after walter and i stuffed ourselves silly with homemade kalbi (made by my mom, but perfectly fried by me! haha, i need to give myself SOME credit!) i started feeling super drowsy. walter started watching monday night football, and i began to fall asleep all snuggly in my blanket on the couch.

man... i forgot how much i love naps. i'm a pretty disciplined girl, and i don't allow myself to nap b/c it throws off my sleep schedule, but tonight, as i napped quietly and unplanned, i remembered the gloriousness of letting fatigue and relaxation take over.

remember when naps used to be a part of life? haha. i remember in college, naps were just scheduled into my daily itinerary. wake up at 10am to go to class. go to class, eat lunch with friends, come back to my dorm to take a little nap, wake up, get some dinner, go to practice, study at the library, do more hw/hang out with friends til 3am, then go to bed. without those naps, i'd never be able to stay up late to write papers and have girltalk to all hours of the night. ahh, i miss those days.

u know, in kindergarten, i was never able to fall asleep during naptime. i would just lay there on my mat jealously listening to the sleep sounds of all the other kids. finally, just when i'd start to get a little drowsy, nap time would be over, and i'd have to fold up my mat and get back to regular time. man, we had it good back then. then again, isn't that what europe does? universal siesta time?

haha. i dunno, i think i'm just too tired to write a coherent blog tonight. i almost just went to bed without blogging, but i forced myself to write at least something. sorry if you were terribly bored. =) i guess i learned a little bit about myself tonight through my unexpected nap. i never let myself get loose, or rather, i rarely let myself not be put together. and honestly, it's exhausting! but tonight, when i let go of my self-control, i felt the freedom of sleep, and the light yolk of not bearing my "perfect" self on my shoulders. it felt good - relief - to unbutton the stuffy collar shirt of life, and wear the loose, comfy t-shirt of indulgence.

goodnight world! it's time for bed for this little one! =)

a new experiment

2009-10-11T23:52:00.000-04:00

just for this week, i am going to try out an experiment. i would like to see if i can write an entry every single day of this week. why? i'm not sure why... just felt compelled to. i haven't flexed my blog writing muscles in a while, and i'm hoping they haven't atrophied. despite my busy schedule, and how i'm always pooped, i'm gonna try to see what happens if i do blog everyday. will it be life changing? maybe. will i have fun? quite possibly. will i fail? hopefully not. but still, i'm gonna try. =) i hope you guys stick it through with me too! (and maybe root for me while you're at it?)

so anyhoo, today, after church, i had to go home to nj to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. for some reason, my dad was in a really lecture-y mood and couldn't stop telling everyone how to improve their lives.

my lecture was about how i don't eat enough fruit. now, i grew up eating fruit everyday. every night, at like 10pm, my parents would call me down to the living room to eat some fruit with them, and then i'd either go back to what i was doing, or go to bed. but once i started living on my own, i stopped eating fruit everyday. it was weird to not have fruit served to me on a daily basis - just ready to eat on a plate. if my mom or someone else didn't do it, then i would not eat any fruit!

i'm ashamed to admit why... but here goes: I CAN'T CUT FRUIT. (i.e. apples, peaches, cantaloupe, etc.- all non-pop-it-in-your-mouth fruit)

i'm terrible with a knife. i'm just terrified of accidentally cutting off my thumb, or sliding across the skin of the fruit and serrating my top layer of skin, or even getting my own blood on the fruit.

i've tried to practice getting better at this. but sadly, all my apples turn brown (from time), warm (from my hands AND time), and salty (from my hands). hahaha. sorry if i just made u vomit.

but yeah, i don't really eat fruit anymore b/c it's so much labor and time to actually cut up the fruit, and i'm allergic to most fruit skins, so i have to cut it off - which i don't have the patience to do. thus - no fruit for mia.

i truly fear the day when i am engaged or married, and my mother-in-law is going to scrutinize my fruit cutting techniques, or worse, think i'm a terrible wife b/c i won't be able to cut my husband beautifully shaped fruit. ahhh! what to do?

my dad made me promise to eat more fruit from now on. i guess i'll try again, and i'll try to work on my fruit cutting skills. but man, i have to tell u, it really makes me sad when boys are better at cutting fruit than i am. it just puts me to shame.

check out these apples walter once cut for me in the shape of rabbits. man... that is talent.

Question to my audience:
ladies! how did you learn to cut fruit? please help a poor, pathetic girl out!
guys! do you really care if your woman can cut fruit nicely?
everyone! how do you get yourself to eat more fruit on a daily basis?

oyy, i bought 3 fuji apples like 3 weeks ago. i hope to try to eat them all this week. i'll keep you updated! =D

being a bad girl...

2009-08-20T23:47:00.000-04:00

so, over my vacation, one of the things that really sticks out in my head as memorable, was when walter and i watched a movie on sat, and then snuck into another movie afterwards.

i gotta tell ya - it was THRILLING. i was sooooo nervous the whole time we were trying to sneak in. at first, the escalator going from the floor we were on, to go see "the goods, live hard and sell hard" was blocked off with one of those elastic lines. i thought, "oh man, we're never gonna get through this." but then, walter and i just went up to the teenager taking tickets and asked if we could go to the bathroom. i went to the bathroom to complete our lie, and when i exited the bathroom, there was walter, hiding behind the doorway!

we snuck into the auditorium, and put our stuff down. for the entire 15 min we had to wait for the previews to begin, i couldn't stop staring at all the entrances to see if that teenager would wonder why i never came back from the bathroom. what if he came looking for me? what would i say? i could show him my ticket stub, but that said, "julie and julia," NOT "the goods."

when the lights finally dimmed, and the previews began, i felt so victorious! like i had just performed something straight out of ocean's 11. haha. it was pretty awesome! and then, bc the movie was so bad, i was so glad that we didn't pay for it!

afterwards, i asked walter if he felt nervous at all throughout our whole "mission impossible," and he said no. and i wondered why i was so enthralled by it. and i realized that it's bc i've always been a "good girl" my whole life, that i've never really experienced what it's like to be bad.

i've always been the girl who played by the rules. i didn't cheat, i didn't copy my friends' homework, i didn't drink in college, i never tried any drugs. i've only been drunk once in my life- and i think it was tipsy at best.

i gotta tell ya - it felt pretty good to be bad. there's something so blood-rushing about trying not to get caught, and trying to get away with something that you don't deserve. it's like i put on a costume of a different mia, who did wild and crazy things. for once, i was not vanilla - i was phish food.

so i started thinking, how can i make my life this exciting all the time? i don't want to keep doing illegal things, and i generally am not a risk-taker. but u know, through this whole thing, i think what i can take away is that i need to just try new things.

over my vacation, i DID do a lot of new things.

1. i had my first hot stone massage - which btw, the stones are really hot! haha.
2. i tried my first egg sandwich on a croissant, and absolutely LOVED it. it was like paradise in my mouth!! i don't know why i was so nervous to try eating eggs on a croissant!
3, i tried a greek chicken souvlaki for the first time, and it wasn't bad!
4. walter and i walked across the brooklyn bridge for the first time, and it was beautiful and fun.

but alas, on my vacation, i also did NOT do some new things. i went to the beach, but was too scared to try to jump the waves, and now i regret it. i wish i had tried it.

in closing, i encourage u guys to try to do something new as often as u can. at the end of my life, i want lots of memories and not monotony. =)

risky business

2009-08-17T22:59:00.000-04:00

so i'm just gonna be vulnerable.

a couple of weeks ago, the sermon at church was about how we need to pray "risky prayers." the pastor talked about how so often, we pray these safe prayers of just, "Lord, please be with her... etc" that we never pray the big, risky prayers that believe in how powerful and mighty our God is. the pastor encouraged us to pray things like, "Lord, let the cancer be gone tomorrow!"

so i did what he said. i prayed a really risky prayer. i prayed for something that i desperately need/want to happen, and gave God a very specific timeline to make it happen within. and honestly, for a few weeks, i had a definite peace in my heart with the full faith of knowing it was going to happen.

my heart had begun to feel lighter, my spirit was high, and i felt optimistic for the first time in a while.

this past week was supposed to be when it all happened.

and it didn't. nothing i prayed for came to fruition.

and now i'm left confused. what does this mean? i don't doubt for a second that God is not powerful enough to make it happen. and i understand the whole "God's timing vs our timing" philosophy. but what confuses is me is how the risky prayer plays into all of this. what's the point of praying the risky prayer if God is going to do what He wants on His time anyway? i understand the importance of prayer in general, but i'm starting to wonder if risky prayer is just one big disappointment.

bc that's how i felt sunday night. as the week came to a close, and a new week began, i felt the world back on my shoulders, my spirit was low, and i was a sad girl again.

oddly, the same pastor who preached about this risky prayer sermon, came back this sunday. and i felt like this was my chance to ask him what happened, what went wrong. in the end, he gave me the answer i expected to hear - it wasn't what God wanted for me. i wanted to punch him for getting my hopes up. i wanted to tell him that he should give this sermon with a disclaimer to sign. bc u know what? people like me found hope in it - and now i'm just let down.

ultimately, i am trusting God that He hears my prayers, and He feels his daughter's tears everytime another one rolls down my cheeks and falls onto the floor as i pray. but i have to admit... i feel a little let down.

u know the line from that praise song, "where a little faith's enough - to see mountains lift and move"? it always gets me. i always cry when i sing that one phrase bc it's so hopeful - so encouraging to someone who feels so hopeless. and yet - this time - i couldn't help but wonder if my little faith wasn't able to lift and move this mountain.

if i were a dog...

2009-07-25T16:35:00.000-04:00

you know, every time i go to any store, and i walk down the pet aisle, i always see this dog, and i can't help but think to myself - if i were to come back in life as a dog, i think i would be this dog.

doesn't he look like a very mia-dog? haha. =)

if you were a dog, which one do YOU think you'd be? =)

blogging is not a popularity contest

2009-07-13T19:06:00.000-04:00

i haven't blogged since april, and i know exactly why - i felt like i didn't have anything interesting/funny to write about. sadly, my soul was aching to write, but i was afraid of not being entertaining enough.

i realized that this is a silly way to think. blogging shouldn't be about how many comments i can accrue - it should just be the overflow of my thoughts to record my life. if you happen to like what i write, then great! but if not, then that's cool too. so from now on, i am going to write - just write - for myself - and not for being the most well-read blog there is. here comes the vulnerability...

i am currently looking for a new job. while i love the magazines i work for, working under my bosses has become pretty unbearable. i've been thinking a lot about jobs/careers and the whole shabang. we spend so much of our lives pursuing our dreams, and then we get close to it, we start wondering what else is out there.

i used to say that i didn't care about salaries - just as long as i could be happy at what i do, that's what matters. but as i struggle daily with envy, looking around at the people with fat paychecks, with the luxury apts, with the fancy dinners out, i wonder - what's more important to me? apparently, i DO care about the materialistic things of this world.

and so now, as i drown in despair at my job, i realize that there's nothing more important than working with good people. i wouldn't mind working anywhere so long as i am treated with respect. my self-esteem, my perception of who i really am has been chipped away by the words of my bosses. it's taking everything in me to believe that God is the only one who can judge me, and that no one else's opinion of me can define who i am, or what i'm worth. but man- it can really do a number on you.

i don't mean to bum you guys out, but i hope that maybe, months from now, i can reread my entries and be able to say, look at how far God has brought me!

in the meantime, i cling to the hope that our God is bigger than i imagine Him to be, and way more powerful than i can ever hope Him to be - bc i seriously need a miracle to find a new job in this economy.

"i called, You answered. and You came to my rescue and i wanna be where You are."

thoughts on twilight

2009-04-28T11:18:00.000-04:00

so, i've been feverishly reading the Twilight saga for the past few weeks now. I openly admit, it's crazy good. *swoon*

but there are some things that i think are necessary to address.

yes, Edward is the most romantic guy/vampire you'll ever read about. his words will have u melting, and his actions will leave begging him to never leave.

but Edward is NOT REAL. he's the epitome of what every girl hopes and wishes for her man to be, but we all know that no such guy exists. a normal guy doesn't spend his every minute protecting u, loving u, and staring at u with passionate eyes. it DOES happen occasionally, or more frequently for some more-romantic guys. but in general, Edward's feelings/actions are NOT realistic.

real guys do love you with a passion, but they also have regular lives with other interests to keep them from being obsessed.

so u may ask, why do i read it then? if i know it's not real, then why waste my time?

well - it's just like movies. most movies are not realistic, but there's something about ESCAPING from your reality and slipping into an imaginary world that's either better than yours, or just different that makes it so much more exciting.

why are chick flicks so successful? b/c women crave this lavish form of romance. and since we're not gonna get it in real life, we may as well live vicariously through the heroines.

i liken edward to a bucket of amazing fried chicken. it's soooooooooo good to eat. tastes so good, makes ur mouth water, and u feel so elated with every bite u take. but u have to push aside your practical thoughts of "this is not healthy for u, no food can taste this good and be good for u."

but u know what? a little indulgence here and there is more than fine! indulging in beautiful love, well, i'll take that any day. just don't become addicted to it, b/c then that's just bad. (like ppl who do drugs all the time b/c they can't stand to be in the real world.)

it's okay to indulge a little, just don't go nuts. =)

that girl who dumped her boyfriend on FML.com is so dumb. she doesn't understand this truth. Edward isn't real! but he sure is nice to read about!

okay... that's all. i like Edward as a character, but i love walter as a real person, as my bf. (sorry if u just threw up in ur mouth!)

2009-04-17T11:28:00.001-04:00

these days, i feel a strong desire to sing again. the thing is, i hate being such a useless singer. my piano skills are so poor and i can only play 5 chords on the guitar. but even with those 5 chords, i don't have very good strumming skills. hence, anytime i want to actually perform, i need to find someone who will accompany me. then, i'm just a big burden to that person.

i feel like i wanna get good at one of them - guitar or keyboard. but how does one do that??

Issues:
guitar: my fingers are too small to hold down an entire fret and still push down other strings. and plus, i don't have a lot of time to learn the guitar...

piano: for some reason, i can't seem to get myself to play background chords in a manner that makes singing come easily.

for a while, i considered getting a travel guitar b/c it's smaller, and more mia-sized. haha. should i??

in the meantime, my keyboard continues to gather dust under my bed, while my singing voice atrophies. ahh, what to do??

anyone out there who'd be willing to give me guitar or keyboard lessons? i'll pay you by singing for you as i practice? =)

2009-04-14T13:41:00.000-04:00

it's been a while since i last blogged. why? b/c i'm a busy woman! =P

anyhoo... i was reading Women's Health (which i also work for now...) and they said that people with similar personalities use the same chapstick flavor. they say that ur personality and sense of smell develop at the same time, which is why ppl with similar personalities have similar sense of smell.

so here are the meanings behind the chapstick flavors:

melon - the life of the party, you crave novelty.
berry - driven, a natural born leader, charming
raspberry - intelligent, success-oriented, and comfortable in any social situation
cherry - hardworking and conscientious; a perfectionist
tropical - adventurous and nonconforming; loved by many
strawberry-banana - reserved, logical, and intuitive. a team player.

i'm cherry, and that is spot on with my personality. hahaha.

what are YOU?? =)

btw, i only use softlips. they're the best!

Facebook Requests from work people -- eek!

2009-02-12T16:31:00.000-05:00

i've been hoping this day wouldn't happen for months now --- i've been facebook friend requested by work people!! =O

i dunno, but for some reason, i am very wary and nervous about letting my work people see my fb profile. i mean, for obvious reasons, i'd like to keep my pictures private from people who are not my good friends. plus, i like to keep my work life and private life separated. i don't think work ppl need to know that i went bowling with my friends and see all my sad faces of getting 2 pins down.

but there are 2 main things i'm worried about:

1. what will they think when they see that all my friends are asian?

when i was in college, i had absolutely no problem with having only asian friends. i mean, what's the big deal? my friends didn't care (probably b/c they WERE asian, haha), so why should i? but then, when i started working as a real adult, in the real world, i realized that i felt uncomfortable being around large groups of non-asian people. it wasn't so bad when i was a teacher, simply b/c i was alone in my classroom and not really interacting with the other teachers. but here, in office world, it's like, i have to talk to people all the time! i always feel like i have to be "office mia" when i'm at work, and then when i'm finally around my friends, i can take the mask off.

but what will i do now? will they judge me that i'm a bigot? or that i'm racist? will they think it's weird that i only have asian friends? although technically, maybe they only have friends of their race. haha. i guess it's just more prominent when u have all asian friends.

2. i don't really like it when ppl find out that i can sing. this is how the conversation usually goes:

stalker: wow mia! i had no idea you could sing!
me: yeahh... i used to sing a little in college
stalker: can u sing something right now?
me: uhhhh.... no thanks!
stalker: come onnnnn. just sing like one song. anything u want.
me: ummm... i'd rather not...
stalker: why not? if i could sing like that, i'd sing all the time!
me: yeahhhhh... i dunno.

and then i proceed to somehow run away. =\

u guys may think this is funny, but i find it really awkward. i'm not a human jukebox! i will not sing for u whenever u ask me to! it's awkward and strange!!

but not just that, it has horrible consequences - ppl start calling on u to sing stuff at contests, office parties, when ppl can't remember how songs go, christmas parties, etc. most of the time, i just want to blend in with the crowd... and being forced to sing without any preparation is really nerve-wrecking and enormously pressureful. as a people pleaser, i don't like disappointing anyone, and hence, i don't like to sing unless i'm fully practiced to.

arghhhh... what to do about these friend requests??? =(

do you guys accept all your work friend requests?

How I got lost in Lost

2009-01-29T11:51:00.001-05:00

okay, i admit it.

my name is mia, and i'm addicted to Lost.

u know, i can't believe it. i was so strongly against watching Lost for multiple reasons.

1. it's just too stressful!! why should i come home from a long day of work, to watch a show that makes me so stressed out that after an hour, my stomach is in knots? no way, uh uh, i was happy to stick to my non-stressful shows like the Hills, or scrubs, or Friends. but Lost, no way. too stressful!

2. i can't watch scary stuff. my imagination is too active, and things haunt me for a long time afterwards. when i was a kid, i watched arachnophobia, and to this day, i fear taking showers in case a spider comes and kills me while i'm shampooing. but no, this is not a childhood phase, a few years ago, when i watched The Passion of Christ, Satan freaked me out so bad that my best friend had to sleep over my dorm for a week! hence, i cannot watch scary stuff.

3. i felt like i was too late in joining the bandwagon for a long time, so i just gave up. it would be too hard to catch up.

but man, oh man. things have changed.

one night, while i was hanging out at walter's apt, i was working on some stuff for work on the laptop while walter was watching Lost season 2. at one point, i just kinda poked my head up to see what was going on, and immediately i got hooked. i couldn't take my eyes off the screen! what were those creepy whispery voices? who are these "others" that they keep talking about? and bam! sharon died, and i was like, what the heck happened???

from that night on, i got hooked. when walter got sick last weekend, we watched Lost all day and now we finished season 2.

i gotta tell ya... HENRY GALE IS THE CREEPIEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN!!! i've lost sleep b/c of this guy! he creeped me out so bad that at night, i had to read books and magazines to distract my brain from hearing his voice and seeing his face every time i closed my eyes. i had nightmares that were related to Lost for a couple of days! and for the last few episodes, i just closed my eyes every time henry gale came on the screen to prevent any more nights of sleep deprivation.

man... this show is so creepy and so stressful, but i am finding that it is worth it. hahahaha. =D everything that i believed in, i have thrown out the window. look at me, i'm a mess. i'm like those druggies who need more drugs in order to feel normal again. hahaha. but i will press on. hooray for season 3!!

seriously... henry gale is such a good actor. i was never sure if he was an "other" or not. man, look at how nice and normal he looks when he's not trying to creep me out. and look at the creepy smile that creeped me out for 2 days!!

Henry Gale - you scared the crap out of me, but i applaud you for your serious brilliance.

On to season 3!!!

i joined a gym!! =O

2009-01-22T13:57:00.000-05:00

can you believe it? the impossible has happened - i joined a gym. hahahahaha. =D

so yesterday was my first day at the gym. i've never been part of a gym in my life, and so i really felt quite out of place. man, oh man, was i in for a shock.

1. WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE NAKED PPL?!?!?! as i was changing into my gym clothes, i looked around to see what the other women were doing - was there a changing area? do i go into a bathroom stall? NOOOO... apparently, ur just supposed to get naked with each other!! there were boobs everywhere!! and later, when i was changing to go home, the old lady next to me had no bottoms on!!! i so did NOT need to see her private areas!!! =(( so sad... and so horrified...

2. workout machines have TVs!!! i was doing the eliptical machine when i noticed that there was a tv button. lo and behold - you can watch your own little tv as u work out!! i've always seen those big tvs they have for everyone to watch, but my machine had its very own tv!! man... although, i probably shouldn't have watched what i was watching. i watched the food network while i worked out. hahahahaha. =D it's just torture!! all the food looks so good, and here i am sweating like a pig. =P

3. omgosh, after my workout, i met walter for dinner and we went to chipotle. i was so horrified to find out that a single burrito has 949 calories!!! i spent an hour at the gym sweating and huffing and puffing, all to burn like 200 calories. and i ate that amount in just chips and guac!!! the world is so unfair!! how can they make food so good, and yet so hard to lose it?! i refuse to eat just salads all the time, but man alive... it got depressing really fast. hahaha. (btw, in the end, i hated my salad, and walter traded me his burrito with my salad so i could stop looking so sad. hahaha)

4. so... at one point, as i was speed walking on the treadmill (don't judge me for not running or jogging on the treadmill!! i'm not at that level yet!!), i looked over to my right. there was a long line of people of all ages and shapes running on their treadmills. as i looked around at how we were all facing a wall or a window, running on these darn treadmills, i realized that we were all like hamsters on a hamster wheel in a cage!!! we're all running on these machines that go nowhere, and there's no end in sight, and we're all just cramped in this one, hot room. ARE WE NOT HAMSTERS?!?! =(

so with that... i leave u now. i'll be back at the gym tonight. hopefully, i will be able to stick to this workout routine since i am now losing money if i don't lose weight. hahaha or... boo hoo hoo? =\ wish me luck!!

CAUGHT A MOUSE!!!!!

2009-01-04T17:29:00.000-05:00

so last night, while i was hanging out at walter's apt, i saw a mouse!! (he's had a mouse problem for a little while now.) when the mouse saw me, he ran into his closet.

so b/c i was sick, i stayed and rested at walter's place, while he went out to see a friend. but now, i was left alone with the mouse!! so what was i to do? i kept staring at the closet, and everytime the mouse tried to escape, i started yelling and jumping up and down "NO!! GO BACK IN THE CLOSET!! GO BACK!!" i couldn't let the mouse know that i was paralyzed with fear and trapped on walter's couch. so we played this game for about 30 min.

then finally, i noticed that Frank, that's what i named him, kept trying to escape through the corner of the closet door. so i decided that i needed to try to catch him. so, with all the courage inside me, i went into the kitchen to quickly find the other glue trap, and quickly placed it on the floor near the closet corner where he kept trying to go. when frank finally tried to escape, he went the other way!!! so again, i yelled for him to go back into the closet, and we continued our dance.

this went on for another 30 min or so. finally, i came up with a plan. i remembered when yin had a mouse problem, she lined the floor of her bedroom entryway with glue traps. therefore, there was no way out except over the glue traps!! but i couldn't do this w/o walter b/c i couldn't gather all the glue traps in the apt without leaving the closet unguarded. so i knew that once walter came home, then we could do the glue trap plan. so, it took walter like another hour to come home. frank and i continued our yelling/dance for like an hour, and then finally walter came home.

he immediately began to gather up all the glue traps and line the door of the closet. then we sat on the couch and quietly waited.

Attempt #1: frank finally came out and sniffed all the traps. the brilliant mouse that he is, must have figured out that one of the glue traps was older than the rest and had become less sticky!! so he quickly was able to run through that trap and to his freedom, but when he saw walter starting to run over to him, frank ran back into the closet. so walter rearranged the glue traps so that only the sticky ones lined the door. ahhhh... frank was finally going to be caught!!

Attempt #2: after walter and i again waited quietly, frank bravely tried to come out again. he sniffed all the traps and knew that this time, he was in trouble. we all knew that frank's only chance at freedom was to jump over the glue traps, but we all wondered, could he do it? could he make it over?

finally, he decided to make a run for it, and up he jumped into the air -- only to fall short just a little and his 2 back feet got stuck in the glue!!! hooray!!

but then, we realized that he wasn't stuck on to the glue that hard, and he could still escape!! so then walter tried to scoop him up with the swiffer to plant him firmly into the glue. BUT!! frank instead bit onto the swiffer and didn't let go for dear life!! eventually, he got a little tired and the second he let go, walter smushed down part of his body onto the glue.

so here was the tricky part... how do we dispose of him? frank was squeaking a lot - probably begging for mercy. but sucky for him, i had no mercy. he had eaten through MY bag of oreos!! there was vengeance to be paid. too bad frank!! muhahahaha.

in the end, walter put frank in a bag, and "took care of him" outside. the brave man... my hero. =D

u know, i really think it's b/c he ate my oreos that he wasn't able to make it across the glue trap. he was too chubby and heavy. ahh, gluttony and greed, that is what killed you frank. hahahahaha.

ps. i am not evil - i am a survivor!!

i couldn't sleep last night, so here's what i was thinking about...

2008-12-29T14:38:00.000-05:00

soooo... i'm sitting here at work, not doing much work. haha. i'm not a bad employee! there's just no one here.

1. so u wanna know what i got for christmas? i didn't get much, but what i did get, i LOVE. walter got me a new ipod touch!!! it's sooooooo cool!!! i love playing with it. and quite honestly, it makes me feel all fancy and stuff. hahaha. =D plus, now i can stop carrying around my heavy portable dvd player to watch my grey's anatomy dvds. my shoulder thanks you very much walter. and my sister got me a pair of cashmere glittens! finally, i can upgrade my gap kids glittens, to more adult ones. hahaha. ;)

2. i'm starting to appreciate my "young" body more. i'm not sure why, but there's something wrong with my thumb. it hurts to use it, and so i've been depending more on my other fingers and left hand. and it's made me wonder, is this what ppl with arthritis feel? i don't think i have arthritis, but it's definitely something. and i realize, man, something so small - a pain in my thumb, can affect me so much!! i can't peel a tangerine, i hate pushing the space bar, i can't open a can of soda, shampooing takes so much longer, etc!! the list can go on forever. it's really made me feel bad for old ppl who have chronic aches.

and for those of u who don't know, i didn't finish my root canal work back in sept b/c i ran about money in my health insurance. so for the past 3 months, i've only been eating on my right side. it's definitely made life more difficult, and i really value my teeth so much now. seriously, we need to enjoy and take care of our bodies now while we can!!

3. i love beyonce!! i wanna be her!! she's so talented and hot! i wish i could dance like that too!!

4. omgosh, i just discovered google reader. this is gonna be my new time sucker. hahaha. =)

okay... i should attempt to do some work ... or at least look like i am... hahaha. k bye!

Daydreaming...

2008-12-24T01:24:00.000-05:00

so i gotta tell ya, i'm a pretty avid daydreamer. there's nothing i like more than to put on my headphones, stare out a window of a bus or subway, and daydream about my "perfect life." i literally spend every minute i'm not thinking about actual stuff, daydreaming - when i'm walking on the sidewalk, when i'm waiting for the subway, when i'm shampooing in the shower, when i eat by myself, anytime!! my brain is never actually here! hahaha.

before walter came along, i constantly daydreamed about my perfect boyfriend - the amazing dates we'd go on, the beautifully romantic words he'd say to me, the outfits i'd wear, (hahaha, i know, so silly!!) and even the jealous reactions of the people around me! hehehe.

but now, i find that i have less stuff to daydream about. i'm pretty content with him ;), that there's no need to daydream about boyfriends anymore! isn't that weird?? so now i've begun to daydream about other things - my wedding day, my future hot shot job, vacations, etc.

but it did make me think - will i ever get to a point where there will be nothing to daydream about? will i ever have everything i want? will i ever feel so satisfied and content with everything in my life that i won't need to daydream about better things? i dunno! maybe it'll be like that in heaven! what's the point of daydreaming, when everything is perfect?

on the one hand, that's a pretty awesome thought, life is so good that u can't even imagine something better. but on the other hand, i like losing myself in my daydreams. i like being able to escape from my sometimes bleak reality, and into this daydream where everything is all i ever hoped for. but then, if i think about it again, if everything were truly perfect - then i think LIVING my life, would be like daydreaming - except it's real!

so ur probably wondering why i'm writing such a random post. well, it's b/c today, while i was walking to work, a woman passed me by, and she had a huge smile on her face. and i kept wondering, what's she smiling about? it's 8:30 in the morning, ridiculously cold, and we're all going to work. and then i realized, maybe she's daydreaming about her perfect man, or maybe she's daydreaming about the vacation she's going to be on in a few hours. and it made me smile to know that God has provided at least our brains to help us endure this world. even amidst horrible conditions, you can always escape for a little while into the amazing world of your imagination. =D

thanks God for my brain. i look forward to the day when i can stop daydreaming, and just be in Heaven with You.

ps. in my daydreams, i'm always super hot and skinny. hahahaha. =D

When You listen to the song of my life, let it be a song so sweet

Christmas Wish List!

one

a + b = mia

a new song in my heart

marathons

PTL!

regret

movie time at cineplex mia

=) =D ;D =P

storytime!

There were three men.

Quote

pregnant mia?

emo

this is probably something i would do...

center of attention

from rock hard to pillow soft

now you may kiss the bride!

sunshiny

we're like... the same person! (hehe)

santa mia's coming to town... (sing along!)

potholes and hole fillers

funny phone calls

mia mars? bruno joo?

Quote

feeling a little silly ;)

stepping out from behind the curtain

from the inside out

confusion with being politically correct

the breakup

Christmas Wish List

apartment hunting - it really is a hunt and not a search.

your parents' jobs - a strand of the dna of who we are

cleavage! *gasp!*

Negotiating

San Francisco!

a mini break from life

parting is such sweet sorrow

handcuffs, rehab, and grace - oh my!

2009 - a year in recap

ba da doo --- Change in my life...

Baby Names!

oh umma...

although we've come... to the end... of the road...

mia vs food?

cell phones - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em

to shower or not to shower

sporty spice?

Hannukah - what an ingenious idea!

nap time

a new experiment

being a bad girl...

risky business

if i were a dog...

blogging is not a popularity contest

thoughts on twilight

Facebook Requests from work people -- eek!

How I got lost in Lost

i joined a gym!! =O

CAUGHT A MOUSE!!!!!

i couldn't sleep last night, so here's what i was thinking about...

Daydreaming...

cleavage! gasp!