Day 12 - girl night in

ack!  i fell asleep again without blogging.  sorry.  haha, although, i DID lay in bed thinking what would i write about and then fell asleep.  sigh.  to be honest, yesterday was another one of those days where i really struggled to find something to be thankful for.  it was not a good day at work.  i was supposed to meet seo yeong for dinner, but she ended up cancelling on me.  and you know what?  i think i needed it.  i think i needed to be alone, some time to rest for once, and not think about my day.  so i'm thankful that God intervened and gave me this night off.  it probably would not have been productive for neither me nor seo yeong.  i love how God knows us.  hopefully today will be a better day!

Day 11 - a walk to remember

Ack!  I fell asleep early last night and didn't get to blog (nor shower, nor practice my guitar)!  Fail!  Anyhoo, my day was insanely busy, but i was able to get out of relatively on time.  sy and i got to wander around midtown east shopping and looking for a bar to stop in.  instead of sticking to my diet, i ended up convincing sy to go to one of our fave restaurants and getting pasta and pizza.  haha!  you would think that that would be my favorite part of the night, but after dinner, we spontaneously decided to walk across the queensboro bridge!  it may not be as lovely as the brooklyn bridge, but it was a fascinating and interesting walk!  it was fun to walk across the water with my love.  it was fun to see this very slow tour of manhattan to roosevelt island to queens.  and it was nice to stroll along on the last warm-ish night before the rain and cold settled in today.  i'm thankful for our spontaneous walk bc it was cool and memorable.  i should've taken a picture!  what a random and fun night!

Day 10 - Shake It Off

i spent the vast majority of today working.  i worked from 9:30am to 9pm.  it was a long day.  but you know what got me through nearly 12 hours of work?  the new taylor swift album!  hahaha.  i think i legit listened to that album like 10x straight.  i never got sick of it, and people walking by would find me bopping in my seat and dancing along.  it was a long day, but having great music helped keep me a lot more positive than i could've been.  i'm thankful again for anna - for this awesome gift, and i'm thankful for taylor swift for creating a great album for me to enjoy, and i'm super thankful for good music in general.  man, how on earth do people get through work without good music??  can't live without it!

Day 9 - The Three Monkeys

today, i had plans to have drinks with michelle, sy, and dianna.  when dianna ended up cancelling, my first impulse was to think - YES!  i can just go home, relax, and veg out.  but deep down inside, i knew that the right thing to do was to go see michelle.  she is my friend, my former roommate, and it always meant a good time with her.  and it turned out to be a great time!  we laughed so much, we reminisced about funny stories, we made bets on the future, we got excited for things to come.  and i realized, if i had gone home, while i would have had a relaxing night of food, tv, and maybe some early sleep - i would have missed out on this.  i've missed michelle and our crazy friendship.  and somehow, with my crazy work schedule and having to meet other people more urgently, i somehow went months without talking to michelle.  but tonight, from the moment we saw each other, it was like we had picked up right where we left off.  and it was easy, crazy, and natural.  i love friendships like that.  the ones that don't need so much maintenance work but are just so natural that you never have to worry about finding a new topic to talk about.  i'm thankful for friendships and i'm especially thankful for my crazy friend michelle. 

Day 8 - Wanting

Today, at church, I sat and prayed for a long time.  I prayed about potentially getting this new job and that maybe this week could be the week that my life changes.  And as I thought about all the other things in my life that I wish I could change, I broke down in tears feeling down and discouraged.  Thoughts of what if I don't get this job rattled within ny head.  My jealous comparisons stung me left me and right.  And as I sat there crying, the worship team began singing a song I haven't heard in a long time and the lyrics haunted me.

"I love You, more than anything, more than anything Jesus."

And as I sat there, listening to the lovely melody of this lyric, I thought about how it's been a long time since I've felt this way.  Do I love jesus more than anything? Or do I love the idea of a new job more?  Or do I love the idea of winning the lottery more?  Or do I love the idea of being skinny more?  I thought about how right now, I love all those things more. And maybe if I loved jesus more, I wouldn't feel so unhappy bc if He is all I want, I can easily get Him.  And then wouldn't I be satisfied?  I realized that I am not content to have just jesus anymore.  I need everything else. 

It was such a wake up call of how much I have neglected my relationship with God.  My eyes have not been fixed on Him.  I have been fixed on things of this world. I'm not sure how I am going to go about this, but I know that perspective has to change.  Not just being grateful for what I have, but not valuing these worldly things as much.

So today, I am thankful for my worship team for playing the perfect song at the perfect moment to pierce my heart.  I really needed to hear it.

Day 7 - VOD-elightful!

today, i made an amazing discovery!  it turns out that i have free Video On Demand with Time Warner!  i hate time warner with my life, and it was such a huge disappointment when i found out my apt only allows time warner.  but i found out that i have access to tons of tv shows!  so i spent today catching up on Grey's Anatomy!  none of the annoying ads on hulu, being able to watch on the big screen tv, it was great!  and free!  i hate time warner, but i'm thankful for this 1 facet of time warner.  here's to watching lots of tv!

Day 6 - Spooktacular

hello!  this entry is a little late bc i forgot to write last night before i went to sleep.  so i think i'll just write 2 entries today.  yesterday was halloween, and i decided that i wanted to go out for halloween.  in my entire adult life, i have never gone out for halloween nor gotten dressed up for it.  i'm not sure why i never did anything.  i think it was probably for a bunch of reasons - 1) i'm technically not supposed to celebrate halloween bc i'm a conservative christian and it's like celebrating evil.  hahaha.  how silly that sounds.  2) my friends never really wanted to go out for halloween bc it was a hassle to find costumes, or we didn't have any parties to go to.  3) halloween usually has pretty crummy weather, so who wants to go out in that?  but this year, i had such a strong itch to do something for halloween.  and honestly, i really wanted to do a couple costume.  i've never been able to do anything like that in all my dating years bc the guy never wanted to do anything.  but despite sy not wanting to do it either, he muscled up for me and did it bc it would make me happy.

and so i went!  sy and i got dressed up as The Price Is Right contestants.  and despite the cold weather, i had a blast!  it was SO FUN seeing NYC become alive in such a different way.  i'm used to seeing new yorkers dressed in suits for work, but it was hilarious to just walk on the sidewalk and see a steady stream of random characters.  you'll run into a giant shark, a pirate, zombies galore, apps, superheroes, you name it!  people watching was so cool!  and the best part of the night?  every time people would look at me and sy's costumes and seeing their light bulbs go off when they figure out what we are and smiling - that's the best!  and if they make comments like "nice costume!" or yell out "the price is right!" i'd throw my little fist pump in the air so pleased with the affirmation!  hahaha!  i know it sounds so silly, but that was my favorite part of night!  i'm so thankful that sy agreed to go with me, and i'm so glad i got to finally try the halloween thing!  it's super fun and i can't wait to do it again next year!  =D