you know, every time i go to any store, and i walk down the pet aisle, i always see this dog, and i can't help but think to myself - if i were to come back in life as a dog, i think i would be this dog.
doesn't he look like a very mia-dog? haha. =) 
if you were a dog, which one do YOU think you'd be? =)
i haven't blogged since april, and i know exactly why - i felt like i didn't have anything interesting/funny to write about. sadly, my soul was aching to write, but i was afraid of not being entertaining enough.
i realized that this is a silly way to think. blogging shouldn't be about how many comments i can accrue - it should just be the overflow of my thoughts to record my life. if you happen to like what i write, then great! but if not, then that's cool too. so from now on, i am going to write - just write - for myself - and not for being the most well-read blog there is. here comes the vulnerability...
i am currently looking for a new job. while i love the magazines i work for, working under my bosses has become pretty unbearable. i've been thinking a lot about jobs/careers and the whole shabang. we spend so much of our lives pursuing our dreams, and then we get close to it, we start wondering what else is out there.
i used to say that i didn't care about salaries - just as long as i could be happy at what i do, that's what matters. but as i struggle daily with envy, looking around at the people with fat paychecks, with the luxury apts, with the fancy dinners out, i wonder - what's more important to me? apparently, i DO care about the materialistic things of this world.
and so now, as i drown in despair at my job, i realize that there's nothing more important than working with good people. i wouldn't mind working anywhere so long as i am treated with respect. my self-esteem, my perception of who i really am has been chipped away by the words of my bosses. it's taking everything in me to believe that God is the only one who can judge me, and that no one else's opinion of me can define who i am, or what i'm worth. but man- it can really do a number on you.
i don't mean to bum you guys out, but i hope that maybe, months from now, i can reread my entries and be able to say, look at how far God has brought me!
in the meantime, i cling to the hope that our God is bigger than i imagine Him to be, and way more powerful than i can ever hope Him to be - bc i seriously need a miracle to find a new job in this economy.
"i called, You answered. and You came to my rescue and i wanna be where You are."
