today, i ate at a diner by myself for the first time in my life. no, it's not bc i'm a loser and have no friends. but i actually wanted to eat at a diner by myself with a good book in my free hand.
it was an interesting experience. for a long time, i was in my own world, wholly absorbed in my book, while my other hand slowly and mindlessly put more food into my mouth. it was so nice. a treat for my mouth, and a treat for my brain. (murder mystery - can't put it down.)
after i started feeling full, i put the book down, and looked around at my surroundings. there was a son with his elderly father. as they put on their coats, they said to the waitress, "see you tomorrow!" it surprised me that they must eat here everyday. at the next table, a woman was eating pancakes by herself. we made eye contact for a moment, and i wondered if she felt lonely, or if she thought i was lonely. i wondered if she was judging me for being here by myself. but then again, i really didn't care.
i put my book down, stared out the window, and fell in love with the blue sky and sun shining down on me. i felt like this was what my life should be like - sleeping in (no exhaustion), eating a full, delicious breakfast (not just a granola bar), reading leisurely (not working), and basking in the sun (not trapped in a cube). it felt so glorious to have had such a quiet moment to myself. i felt so dramatic - like i was seeing myself in a movie. the pensive girl, feet propped up on the seat in front of her, little argyle socks poking out, hair swept up in a messy ponytale with wispy bangs falling against her cheek, broodingly journaling the secret thoughts in her heart. (no, i didn't have my journal with me, but it's for theatrical effect.) haha. i know, i'm so melodramatic, but i'm a sucker for this kind of thing.
sigh. it was a beautiful way to start my day. i wish i could have more of these days. perhaps it really was my muse. it got me writing again in this blog, didn't it? oh glorious quiet day - please come back and visit me again sometime soon. =)
