Whenever I talk to my single friends, I'm always filled with sadness when I hear about their loneliness and their fears of being single forever. I remember those sentiments all too well. I remember feeling so much relief when Sy and I got engaged, and I thought I finally had my happy ending. No more breakups, no more single girl loneliness, no more jealousy at happy couples, no more fear of being alone. It was wonderful.
But people don't ever talk about the hard part of marriage. In movies, we see all the effort and journey of going from building the courage to ask out someone to the bliss of the beginnings of relationships - and then the predictable plot twist where a relationship seems tenuous, and then the happy resolution. But this is where the movie ends - a wedding kiss, a happy embrace, a tearful reunion. They never show you what happens after - the difficulties of 2 becoming 1. I think we just assume that because you're in love, you'll never fight again. Because it was so hard to overcome that first battle, you'll never forget it and always be eternally grateful. But it's not true. Humans are so forgetful. Within a day we forget the considerate things people do for us. Within hours, we forget about our diets. Within seconds, a good mood can turn sour and emotions flare up.
Just because you get married doesn't mean forever anymore. The D word still looms over you like a dark cloud, no matter how christian you are - because the sad truth is - divorce happens to everyone. And when divorce comes knocking at your door, asking to hang out for a few hours, it may not stay for long, but the stench of it lingers for days.
In a book I'm reading, I read a quote, "Piece of free advice -- never try and work out what's going on in someone else's marriage." - The Light Between Oceans. I've learned that every marriage is different and every marriage has its struggles. Yes, every couple seems picture perfect on instagram and facebook. They look so happy! They go on all these cute dates and they're so romantic! But I'm learning - every marriage is hard. Every marriage has its ups and downs. You just never know which curve you'll get when you ask the question - how's married life?
Friends - pray for your married friends. Pray for their marriages. They need it as much as the single people do. Maybe even more.
