Recently, I've really been enjoying the act of purging my closet. It feels so cathartic to watch my closet have some breathing room as I remove more and more pieces of clothing. But for anyone who knows me well, they'd be surprised to know that this is my new pastime. I wouldn't say that I'm a hoarder, but I definitely have hoarding tendencies.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not some crazy lady who can't differentiate garbage from necessities. But I am a very sentimental person. I see the meaning and symbolism in most objects, which makes it very difficult for me to say goodbye to them. My clothes definitely fall into this category.
I recently acquired a bunch of new winter coats, and my hallway closet has become overstuffed to the point where a puffy coat needed to re-puff itself once I took it off the hanger. I knew it was time to get rid of some of my coats. As I scanned the row of wool and down, my eyes fell upon my old gray, toggle coat. I immediately flashed back to my 26 year old self. That Mia was a lonely, idealistic, daydreaming romantic. She had been single for a couple of years and was ready to embark on the love story of her life. One day, while shopping, she laid eyes upon this perfect gray toggle coat and thought, "Oh my! What an adorable coat! It's the kind of coat that looks mature enough for a late 20-something girl, but had enough cute embellishments to stand out with girlish flare." I imagined wearing the coat while out in the city, and stumbling upon a handsome stranger, who thought she was cute. They would go on romantic winter dates with her wearing that coat. He would kiss her on the nose as the snow gently fell on top of her hood. He would hold her hand as they ran through the streets looking for cover. All this would happen because of this coat.
So I bought it! And you know what? I did meet a boy when I wore that coat. We dated for a few years, but broke up. As I looked at that coat now - wondering if I should throw it away - my heart tugged at me for a moment. Can you really throw away all those memories? You're throwing away that 26 year old girl! My hoarding tendencies came roaring out, and all my justifying thoughts came rushing in: you can still wear this coat! you don't have a gray coat in your repertoire! you need a coat that you don't care about getting dirty! But as my new sensible 34-year-old brain kicked in, I knew it was time to let it go. That coat fulfilled its duty. It was time to donate it to someone else who could use it and find joy in it.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to throw away the dress I wore when Sy proposed to me, or the sweater I wore when he whisked me off to Boston for a birthday surprise. Those clothes have too many special memories in them for me to let go of. But either way, I feel it's important to pay homage to these clothes and memories - whether I cherish them forever or scatter them to the wind.
