In sickness and in health - Week 30 Observations

Last week was week 2 of me solo parenting.  By the time Sy came home on Thurs, I was pretty exhausted from doing everything on my own.  I could not have been happier for Sy's return.  Haha.

While Sy was away, we had worried a little that Emily might not remember Sy when he came back.  2 weeks is a really long time in her short life!  We were diligent about making sure to video-chat every day so she could see him and hear his voice.  But she never really seemed all that interested in seeing him on the phone.  Sometimes she would smile at him, but it was pretty rare.  So we had wondered what her reaction would be when she saw him when he came back.  I wasn't there when he went to pick her up, but Sy told me that she smiled really big when she saw him.  He said that she saw him from a distance and immediately recognized him and seemed genuinely happy to see him!  It made him so happy that she was happy to see him.  And Sy's parents also laughed at how happy she was to see her dad. It's good to know that she knows and loves him.

On Saturday, we went to brunch to celebrate the birthdays of Sy's sister and cousin.  We tried putting Emily in her first high chair at a restaurant and we were happy to see that she can do it!  She's big enough to fit, and she's capable of sitting on her own without falling down.  This was pretty exciting to me bc it gave me hope that maybe we can start going out to restaurants soon!  I've really missed going to a restaurant to eat.  While take-out is almost as good as eating at a restaurant, it's never as good when it comes out fresh.  The only thing was Emily couldn't keep herself entertained by herself.  I had brought toys for her to play with, but she kept dropping them on the floor, and then we couldn't use the toys anymore bc they were dirty.  It was so close!  We ended up holding her while we ate, but then she got antsy, so I had to eat while standing up.  At least we're finally getting there. 

On Sunday, Emily got her first fever.  At first, I was sure that Emily had caught a cold from her cousins.  Carol had been sick with a fever and a mouth sore for days.  And when we got to brunch, Adam was feeling sick as well and was super cold and fatigued.  So I thought Emily must have definitely caught their cold.  I was pretty worried that Emily had hand-foot-mouth virus.  (My god -- that virus is literally my worst nightmare.)  Emily's temperature went up to 100 degrees, and her little body felt so warm.  But surprisingly, she wasn't as crabby as I had thought she'd be.  She ate a little less than usual and kept leaving milk behind.  But she ate her solids voraciously.  She played relatively well despite feeling unwell.  I was pretty sad to see Emily with a fever.  She had trouble sleeping bc of her fever.  She couldn't sleep unless I held her.  It was very reminiscent of weeks 6-8.  During her nap, she cried hysterically when I tried to put her back in her crib, and in the end, I had to let her sleep in my arms while I sat in a char.  That night, Emily woke up after 45 min, and cried so hard for me to come and get her.  She wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her and standing.  So I ended up holding her until she fell asleep deeply in my arms, and then gently put her back in her crib.  It took nearly 40 min to get her down.  I was so sad for her.  The next day, I began to wonder if emily was teething - and not actually sick.  She had been drooling quite a bit - and it was a pretty low grade fever.  The next day when I was at work, Emily only slept 1 nap the entire day.  I had wondered if she needed me to hold her to sleep.  Poor girl.  I was so sad for her.  But I'm still so proud of her.  Despite a fever, and whatever discomfort she must have felt, she was a champ and played and ate relatively well.  She's such a good girl.  I love her so much.

It's definitely made me realized how important good health is.  I hope we can make it through this winter with as few colds as possible - for Emily and for all of us.  Carol's cold got everyone sick - 2 parents, 1 brother, 2 grandparents, 1 cousin.  It's nuts how powerful colds are.

But the old adage is true - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!  Here's to being one cold stronger!  (or maybe a first tooth stronger!)

Whine and dine - Week 30 Observations

Last week was a pretty tough week for me.  Sy left for his usual international work trip on Sunday, and it's been just me and Emily for a week now.  (Sy's trip is 12 days long)  I have to say - I have a newfound respect for single parents.  I don't know how they do it without help!  This has been a really exhausting week.  It's so hard to do everything by myself.  After a long day of work, I would have to take care of Emily with no one to multitask with.  I come home, I put Emily on the bed so she can sit while I change my clothes and I dash to pee and wash my hands as quickly as possible in case she falls off the bed.  And then it's just me doing everything - change diaper, make bottle, feed solids, fill her humidifier, put her to sleep - often with 1 hand as I hold her in my arm or with her crying in the background bc she doesn't want to be left alone.  And then when she is finally asleep, I have to make dinner, eat dinner, wash all her bottles, pack her bag for the next day, and sometimes make her pureed food - peeling, chopping, steaming, pureeing, packing all her food.  The weekends are especially tough bc I'm with her all day with no one to take turns entertaining her.  On top of that - weekends are when we clean the house, go grocery shopping, meal prep for the week, and do laundry.  I've had to do all these things alone, often at night when I should be resting bc Emily wouldn't let me do it during the day.  It's been a super, super tiring week so far, and I've never anticipated sy's return as much as I do now.  I have no idea how single parents do this.  I have so little time to relax at night bc there's so much to do.  How do single parents keep their sanity?  You legit need 2 parents to keep 1 little human alive.  Otherwise, the adult will get worn out and have the light go out in their eyes.  (hence - dead mia)

In terms of development, Emily has begun reaching for things!  Sy's mom informed me that Emily knows how to turn off a light switch.  When I tested it out, it was true!  When I bring Emily close to the light switch, she reaches her arm to the light switch and tries to push down to turn it on/off.  It's pretty amazing to see!  And I noticed that when we're sitting on the floor playing, she'll see something she wants to play with - whether it's her rattle or something else, and she'll reach for it.  She can leave the item she is currently playing with to choose something else.  She once saw her whale chew toy sort of underneath another toy, and I watched her grab it from under the other toy.  I was so surprised!  It's interesting to see that she is now developing opinions and preferences.  She wants certain things and she wants it now.  Haha.  It's pretty cool!

For the past week, I've been in charge of dropping off and picking up Emily in Long Island.  So I've been doing all the driving.  I was nervous bc Emily is usually so bad in the car - cries and cries.  I was afraid that my anxiety over hearing her cries would affect my driving.  But it turns out, Emily has been pretty great this week in the car.  I don't know if it's bc she is older now and car rides aren't so wretched or maybe she knows we're alone and she's going to have to just deal with it.  But either way, I have been super grateful to her being better in the car.

On Sat, my parents and aunt came over to visit Emily.  My mom wanted to hold Emily and when I transferred her, Emily started crying - crying with tears and all!  She almost never cries with tears.  It made me very sad to know that stranger anxiety has officially set in.  Emily was scared of my parents.  I thought it would be fine if we just let Emily play with her toys.  So I put her on her mat, put her in front of her toys, and my family sat around her.  And again - she cried!  She was still afraid that they were sitting so close to her.  She wouldn't play with her toys - just cried.  So I put her in my lap, and that's when she was okay with playing with her toys - in the safety of my lap.  It was so fascinating to me to see Emily behave this way bc she never does this.  But I guess she's mostly been surrounded by people she knows.  It made me sad that my family is so foreign to her - but I understand her fear.  She eventually felt comfortable to sit not in my lap to play, but she still wasn't okay if they held her.  When we went for a walk as a family, my mom held her again while I set up her stroller, and again, Emily cried.  By the time we came back from the walk, Emily seemed to have warmed up to my mom and didn't cry when she held her.  But it still made me a little sad.

I don't know if it's bc I've been with Emily for 24 hours a day, but over the weekend, I realized that Emily whines a lot.  She's a whiny baby.  Have I been blind to her whininess bc she's so cute that I didn't notice?  Or is this a recent development?  I'm also wondering if Emily is developing separation anxiety.  Every time I left her sight (whether it was to pee, vacuum her room, put away groceries), she would scream and cry.  Was she scared to be alone?  Was she afraid that I had abandoned her?  It's been a mystery to me.  I hope she doesn't have separation anxiety bc we have to separate from her every day!

Man, I cannot wait for Sy to come home.  I really need a break.  I really need someone to help do all of Emily's mundane tasks.  I really need ... help.

Turning into a big girl - Week 29 Observations

When I was maternity leave, I had worried a lot that I was gonna miss out on her developments because I didn't see her every day.  But it turns out, you don't miss it after all!  I'm still able to see her progress even with the shorter time we spend together.  Thank God!

Last week was a great week for Emily.  She's gotten so much better at sitting up on her own.  She can sit by herself for long periods of time without falling down.  We still keep pillows near her because she will topple backwards if she looks behind her too much, or if she leans too far down if she reaches for something.  But for the most part, she is so independent and she loves it!  I think she must feel some sort of freedom in being able to sit by herself and play with her toys by herself.  I gotta say, this is quite a game changer, and life is much easier now.  There's much less of me playing with her and more of me just sitting next to her to guard that she doesn't fall down.  It's pretty awesome!  Emily loves to sit up and play her little piano, push the buttons on her animal music machine, or just eat her teething toys.  

As for solids, Emily has really grown to love solids!  She eats so well now!  It's super adorable to see her open her mouth wide to accept the spoonful.  And she swallows it so fast that she eats her solids really quickly.  So far, she's had sweet potato, avocado, oatmeal, quinoa, banana, zucchini, green peas, carrot, apple, green beans, and butternut squash.  It was fun to watch her eat apple bc it was her first tart food and she was unsure if she liked it at first.  But she has quickly warmed up to it and loves it now.  Feeding Emily solids has become my favorite part of the day.  And thank goodness she is not like her mama and a slow eater.  She eats quickly and makes life much easier for us.

Last week, we tried giving Emily a sippy cup for the first time.  She immediately wanted to try drinking water and so she immediately tried to drink it.  She struggled a bit bc it had a different kind of "nipple" than she was used to and had a little trouble getting the water out.  The next day I tried again, and she got frustrated with it and just rejected it.  A few days later, I tried giving her water by putting some in her bottle cap.  She took to it better but leaked water all over herself.  Haha.  I'll keep trying to give her water.  It'll be really cute to see her use a sippy cup.

Remember when I talked about Emily's newfound love of rolling over, but inability to roll back?  Well, it's been a few weeks and she can finally roll back now!  Oh thank the good lord!  She has figured out that if she leans her head, she'll topple backwards and be back on her back.  Now she rolls and rolls if she's on the bed.  Its pretty cute to see!  I'm so glad she finally got the hang of this bc I was genuinely getting worried that maybe she was too delayed.  But she's fine! It makes you realize how crazy we can get about milestones.  But really, at the end of the day, they all do it eventually.  I was worried for nothing.

I'm thankful that I have been able to witness these milestones.  She just gets more and more fun everyday!

XOXO - Week 28 Observations

I've completed 2 weeks of work now.  Week 2 wasn't so bad.  I didn't cry all week, and I felt easier about leaving Emily each morning. I'm hoping that the consistency that Emily sees me first thing in the morning and at night is a big enough reason to remember that I'm her mom - despite not spending all day with her. 

It's hard to write these developmental entries now bc I don't see her as much anymore.  Sy's mom told us that Emily can now "kiss" us!  If you say, "Emily bbo!", Emily will bring her forehead to your face as her way of kissing us.  Haha!  It's pretty cute bc even though it's not a real kiss, it's still amazing that she now has the ability to do something on command.  Sy's mom also claims that Emily can "go to you" if you say "come to me" and outstretch your hands.  I've yet to actually see this happen.  When I hold Emily and Sy's mom tries to say come to me - apparently she doesn't go to her.  Haha.  But I don't really think Emily knows how to outstretch her arms yet in reaction to wanting to be held. 

When we pick up Emily at night, Sy and I do our best moves to make her smile.  We throw her in the air, we make our biggest smiles and gestures for her, and she always smiles and laughs.  Sy's mom says that she doesn't ever laugh like that for her all day.  She thinks that Emily is happiest when she's with her parents.  I don't know if that's true, but it makes me secretly VERY happy.  =D  I want so much for Emily to love me and Sy the most.  It's my worst fear that Emily will love her grandparents more simply bc they see them more. 

Interestingly, we went to NJ to celebrate my dad's birthday this weekend.  Emily missed a nap and was very cranky at my parents' apt.  Emily would cry when my mom held her.  Sy and I just assumed it was bc she was so tired.  But my parents speculated that it's bc she has stranger anxiety with them bc they don't see her as much.  Part of me wonders if Emily really is stranger danger with them, or was it just a perfect storm of crankiness?  If it IS stranger anxiety, it makes me sad that my parents don't get to experience how cute and awesome Emily is.  As much as I get annoyed by my parents, I still love them and want them to have only positive experiences- especially with Emily. 

A cute story from last night - Emily has recently figured out how to turn on her mobile while in her crib by herself.  Last night, after I put Emily to sleep for the night, I checked the monitor to see if she had fallen asleep.  I found her lying in her bed, hands clasped on her belly, and staring straight forward.  I was confused bc I thought she would've been fast asleep.  And normally, if she's still awake, then I see her rubbing her eyes, or sucking her finger, or putting her arm over her eyes.  But she was just lying there looking straight up.  And then I realized she must have turned on her mobile and was happily watching "her movie."  Hahaha!  Sy and I had such a laugh over this and we opened her door to turn it off for her so she could go to sleep.  What a cutie.  She kills me with her cute, little actions.

Labor Day is now gone and it made me a little sad to think that the summer is over.  In many ways, this was the most boring summer I've ever had.  If we had no baby, Sy and I probably would've gone on weekend trips, strolled thru the city, eaten outside, gone to the beach, taken long drives, etc.  We didn't do most of those things simply bc a baby makes it hard to achieve them.  In some ways, I feel like I missed out on summer.  But of course I loved spending time with Emily.  I can't wait for Emily to get bigger so we can enjoy life a little more and be less chained to her nap schedule.  I hope next summer will be more fun and full of activities and memories!