Last week was a pretty tough week for me. Sy left for his usual international work trip on Sunday, and it's been just me and Emily for a week now. (Sy's trip is 12 days long) I have to say - I have a newfound respect for single parents. I don't know how they do it without help! This has been a really exhausting week. It's so hard to do everything by myself. After a long day of work, I would have to take care of Emily with no one to multitask with. I come home, I put Emily on the bed so she can sit while I change my clothes and I dash to pee and wash my hands as quickly as possible in case she falls off the bed. And then it's just me doing everything - change diaper, make bottle, feed solids, fill her humidifier, put her to sleep - often with 1 hand as I hold her in my arm or with her crying in the background bc she doesn't want to be left alone. And then when she is finally asleep, I have to make dinner, eat dinner, wash all her bottles, pack her bag for the next day, and sometimes make her pureed food - peeling, chopping, steaming, pureeing, packing all her food. The weekends are especially tough bc I'm with her all day with no one to take turns entertaining her. On top of that - weekends are when we clean the house, go grocery shopping, meal prep for the week, and do laundry. I've had to do all these things alone, often at night when I should be resting bc Emily wouldn't let me do it during the day. It's been a super, super tiring week so far, and I've never anticipated sy's return as much as I do now. I have no idea how single parents do this. I have so little time to relax at night bc there's so much to do. How do single parents keep their sanity? You legit need 2 parents to keep 1 little human alive. Otherwise, the adult will get worn out and have the light go out in their eyes. (hence - dead mia)
In terms of development, Emily has begun reaching for things! Sy's mom informed me that Emily knows how to turn off a light switch. When I tested it out, it was true! When I bring Emily close to the light switch, she reaches her arm to the light switch and tries to push down to turn it on/off. It's pretty amazing to see! And I noticed that when we're sitting on the floor playing, she'll see something she wants to play with - whether it's her rattle or something else, and she'll reach for it. She can leave the item she is currently playing with to choose something else. She once saw her whale chew toy sort of underneath another toy, and I watched her grab it from under the other toy. I was so surprised! It's interesting to see that she is now developing opinions and preferences. She wants certain things and she wants it now. Haha. It's pretty cool!
For the past week, I've been in charge of dropping off and picking up Emily in Long Island. So I've been doing all the driving. I was nervous bc Emily is usually so bad in the car - cries and cries. I was afraid that my anxiety over hearing her cries would affect my driving. But it turns out, Emily has been pretty great this week in the car. I don't know if it's bc she is older now and car rides aren't so wretched or maybe she knows we're alone and she's going to have to just deal with it. But either way, I have been super grateful to her being better in the car.
On Sat, my parents and aunt came over to visit Emily. My mom wanted to hold Emily and when I transferred her, Emily started crying - crying with tears and all! She almost never cries with tears. It made me very sad to know that stranger anxiety has officially set in. Emily was scared of my parents. I thought it would be fine if we just let Emily play with her toys. So I put her on her mat, put her in front of her toys, and my family sat around her. And again - she cried! She was still afraid that they were sitting so close to her. She wouldn't play with her toys - just cried. So I put her in my lap, and that's when she was okay with playing with her toys - in the safety of my lap. It was so fascinating to me to see Emily behave this way bc she never does this. But I guess she's mostly been surrounded by people she knows. It made me sad that my family is so foreign to her - but I understand her fear. She eventually felt comfortable to sit not in my lap to play, but she still wasn't okay if they held her. When we went for a walk as a family, my mom held her again while I set up her stroller, and again, Emily cried. By the time we came back from the walk, Emily seemed to have warmed up to my mom and didn't cry when she held her. But it still made me a little sad.
I don't know if it's bc I've been with Emily for 24 hours a day, but over the weekend, I realized that Emily whines a lot. She's a whiny baby. Have I been blind to her whininess bc she's so cute that I didn't notice? Or is this a recent development? I'm also wondering if Emily is developing separation anxiety. Every time I left her sight (whether it was to pee, vacuum her room, put away groceries), she would scream and cry. Was she scared to be alone? Was she afraid that I had abandoned her? It's been a mystery to me. I hope she doesn't have separation anxiety bc we have to separate from her every day!
Man, I cannot wait for Sy to come home. I really need a break. I really need someone to help do all of Emily's mundane tasks. I really need ... help.
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