Christmas Wish List

hi blog world!

it's been a while since i've last written. a ton has happened in the past few months. but for now, i'm going to focus on the fact that christmas is just weeks away!

life has been particularly tough recently, and so i've decided to treat myself to my own christmas presents.

but for those of you out there, who so desire to get me a present, feel free to see what i want!

i've made a quick list of the top 10 things i've been really wanting this christmas. sigh... which one of these things should i get for myself? all of them? haha...

1. The Chronicles of Narnia set




















Ideally, i'd like to get this set before the next movie comes out so i can read it, then watch it. but this may not happen. =\

2. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk


this book looks so cute to me. i think this is a very mia-style book, no?

3. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake


this book looks super interesting to me, but i generally don't buy hardcover books bc i think they're too expensive. but if someone wants to buy it for me, i'd be very happy.

4. jigsaw puzzles!


i've been in the mood to do lots of puzzles these days. so any cute puzzles or intricate puzzles are welcome!

5. Marc Fisher Peep Toe Pumps

omgosh, the second i tried on these shoes, i fell in love. i really love them, but i don't know if i'll ever have an occasion to wear them to, especially bc i'm not really a nude-shoe kind of girl. i usually just get black shoes. but dang... these are such gorgeous shoes. i want to die.

6. a new watch


my current watch is doing pretty badly. it won't keep time very well, and stops/slows down all the time. i really need a new watch. i've stopped wearing a watch now for a few days, and i constantly feel like my wrist is naked and that i'm missing something. just remember - if you're going to get me a watch - i'd prefer if it was kind of like a bangle bracelet bc i can't have something rubbing up against my skin all the time bc of my eczema.

7. a new study bible

i need a new study bible bc i had to throw away my old study bible bc of the fleas. (btw, u guys have no idea how hard it is to physically throw away a bible. it felt really blasphemous to do it, and i almost kept my bible even tho i feared there were flea eggs all over it. in the end, i threw it away knowing that i could always buy another bible. but i was sad bc my sister had given it to me when i first went away to college, and it had a lot of sentimental worth to me. sad!)

anyway... i can't decide which one i should get... i hear good things about this ESV one... but i'm wondering if it's too academic. i think the F (myers briggs) in me would want something more emotion-inducing. any suggestions?

8. The Children's Storybook Bible


julia yang had showed us this awesome children's bible to us at sg, and it was so beautiful, and the stories were really well-written. tim keller highly recommends it to all christians, seminarians, everyone! i really wanna read this, and also read it to my kids.

9. tory burch flats

i've been wanting these shoes for over a year now. they never go on sale. i hate you tory burch! (nono! i take it back, i love u!) morally, i won't let myself pay this much for a ballet flat (i have loans to pay off, u know!), but man, they're so pretty. =(

10. a smartphone

i think i'm finally ready to make the jump and get a smartphone. yes, it'll increase my stalking tendencies a lot, and i may become one of those ppl who are always rudely on their phones while out to dinner. but dang, i think i need one. i get lost a lot, and i think having a gps is very important to me. but overall, i feel kind of lame with my really old flip phone. i'm no grandma! i'm hip! i should have a hip phone to match! =)

thanks for reading my unimportant and unnecessary list of things i want for christmas. i'm probably only going to buy #7 and #8 for myself. but it's nice to be able to daydream that i have tons of money to buy everything on my list.

just out of curiosity - what's on YOUR christmas wish list? =)

apartment hunting - it really is a hunt and not a search.

i have recently begun the harrowing task that everyone dreads- apt hunting. oy... it is a big pain in the (__|__)!!

have any of you guys ever experienced the roller coaster cycle of emotions that apt hunting entails? here's my cycle:

phase 1 - excitement at the prospect of finding a new home! the world is my oyster!
phase 2 - frustration - why is everything so darn expensive?
phase 3 - God will provide! i am filled with hope!
phase 4 - doubt - am i going to have to live in a rat hole for the next year?
phase 5 - no! i WILL find my new home. semi-excited again!

and then the whole process begins again of feeling frustrated, hopeful, doubtful, and determined.

this whole process has reminded me of a story i once read. here it is in a nutshell:

there was a princess who was given the opportunity to pick the best corn among all the land to bring back to her kingdom to start her own corn farm. however, the only rule was that the corn was laid out in a line in front of her. she had to pick one as she went down the line, but she could not turn back once she passed it. so as the princess walked down the line, she saw some great corn, but kept wondering if something better would be further down the line. and lo and behold, when she got to the end of the line, she had picked no corn and had to go home empty handed.

i think a lot about this princess and how she kept thinking, "what if there's a better corn down there? should i keep going? or is what i see right now the best there is out there?" these "what if" questions plague me! i find myself constantly wondering if i lost out on a great apt bc i was hoping something better would be down the line.

i think overall, this line of thinking correlates a lot with my own faith. my inherent nature is very methodical. i make plans, itineraries, and back-up plans. i weigh the pros and cons of everything causing every decision i make to be very well-thought through. but when it comes to apts, and really other major things in life, there's no way to know all the pros and cons bc i just can't know everything. i have to just let go and know that God is taking good care of me, and guiding me as i go. but without a very obvious sign, i'm left walking down the "line of life" not knowing when i should pick up my own "corn."

ahh sigh. i know that i will eventually find an apt, but man, i can't wait to start packing and start a new chapter of life! =) wish me luck everyone!

ps. if anyone knows of a great apt for me, feel free to make my day! =D

your parents' jobs - a strand of the dna of who we are

i have recently begun trying to floss on a daily basis.

gosh, i hate flossing. i think it's a huge pain in the butt, and it's time consuming. i always feel like there are so many other/better things i could be doing that's more entertaining than to sit here and floss.

but as i sat here, gloomily flossing, i remembered my good friend ina. back in college, i remember how she once told me that she flossed everyday. and i was shocked that she actually did it (she was flossing in front of me as she said it. haha!) but anyway, the reason she did it was bc her dad was a dentist. so he taught her to floss everyday.

so as i was sitting on my bed, flossing so miserably, i thought about how for ina, flossing must not be such a chore, but rather, just something normal - like washing your face, or peeing. it's just a part of life.

so i started thinking, man, ina's dentist father really influenced ina and her fundamental routine in life! maybe if my father had been a dentist, i wouldn't be so averse to flossing myself. so i started wondering, well, what did MY parents' jobs do to influence me?

well, my parents have had numerous businesses, and i think those have influenced me tremendously.

1. my parents owned a deli for a long time. and bc i had to help out at the store, i had to make sandwiches for the customers. after years of working with cold cuts, to this day, i really hate eating sandwiches. just thinking about turkey sandwiches makes me want to gag. any type of deli meat - i would really prefer not to eat it.

2. for a short time, my parents had a lottery machine in their gift store. after watching so many addicted customers, i will not touch the lottery anymore. i saw too many people (poor ppl to be specific) who squandered their hard-earned money on a DAILY basis to the lottery. it made me so sad to punch in their numbers, or watch them scratch another trap of a lottery ticket - knowing that it was truly a waste of their money. it was really heart-breaking for me.

3. in general, my parents have owned a lot of businesses. and most of the time, it involved a lot of self-sacrifice and no corporate benefits. my parents never had the luxury of health insurance, paid time off, regular working hours, etc. they had to work or else there was no money. so as a result, i NEVER ever want to own my business. and i deathly fear that my future spouse once day will want to venture to own his own business as well. i don't know what i'll do if he has such dreams. all i know is that i am very happy to be a part of corporate america - to have a salary and to have company benefits, and not BE the boss, but to just happily be an employee.

i can think of a lot more things about myself that have directly been influenced bc of my parents' jobs. it's kind of crazy to think about that. right now, i work in publishing. if i continue in this field, i wonder how it'll affect my own children? will they be averse/inclined to magazines? if i keep working for health magazines, will my children be prone to eating healthy or working out? (probably not since i don't live out those morals myself. haha!) but yeah... it's strange to think about how my job will directly influence my kids bc essentially, it's inevitably going to happen.

so readers - how have YOUR parents' jobs influenced who you are? i'm curious to know! =)

cleavage! *gasp!*

on friday, i decided to do a little shopping before small group. when i walked into an h&m, there was an employee walking around. i couldn't take my eyes off of her b/c she had on this long dress that had a very "open" top in which, basically, the entire tops of her boobs were exposed. as she walked around, i could see her boobs jiggling around from the movement.

i was shocked! i couldn't believe that an employee was allowed to walk around so unconservatively! =O

it reminded me of an outfit i wore to work earlier this week - it was a tank top with ruffles all down the front of the shirt. by the time i got to work, i realized that gravity was plotting against me, and kept making the ruffles sag down, accidentally causing me to expose more cleavage than i would have preferred. i spent the entire day constantly adjusting my shirt, and watching peoples' eyes to see if they looked below my face level and to my boob level. haha. =P

anyway... i was just shocked at how comfortable some women are with cleavage! i mean, i get it. i see all the magazine covers, the red carpet dresses, the victoria's secret catalogues. guys love seeing sexy clothes. and even though i know it's sexy, i can't get myself to do it too. i just find it so vulnerable!

i think my conservatism comes from my adolescent experiences.

when i was a budding teenager, i went through a bit of a rebellious phase in which i dressed way too sexy/inappropriately for my age. here are some bad outfit choices i made back in the day:

1. i once wore a midriff-baring bellly shirt to church. (yes, it showed my entire belly and belly button!)
2. i used to come to school early in the morning, put on a ton of make up, and then wash it all off before my parents came home from work.
3. for a school dance, i wore a mini-dress - which years later, i discovered was just a long tank top. (i'm so embarrassed!)
4. i used to love anything skin-tight and super short.

what changed all this was one fateful sunday. i wore a red gingham silk scarf around my neck to pretty-up an outfit of mine for church. when i walked down the stairs, my dad took one look at me and made me go change my clothes. he called me a "sool jjeep yujah" which translates in english to "beer-house ho." after that day, i became really conscious about what i wore and not looking like a hooker. and now, i am who i am today.

for all u girls out there - how do you feel about showing cleavage? are you comfortable with it? does it make u feel sexy or uncomfortable?

and for all you guys out there - how do you feel about your own friends and girlfriends and when they expose cleavage. are you uncomfortable or think it's normal?

okay... that's it. i don't think i've written the word "boob" so many times in 1 entry before. hahaha! =)

Negotiating

so, i recently have had to negotiate salary for a job offer, and man - the whole process really messes with your head.

first, i had to research what industry standards are for my position. then i had to figure out what i wanted to highball with.

and while i understand the whole process of me asking for a higher range so that the offer will eventually land in the area i want it to, i can't help but think - the negotiation process is so judgmental!

both parties are thinking and calculating - what is mia worth? and this is an awful feeling. my roommate lisa (my personal cheerleader) REALLY believes in me - that i'm valuable and that i'm worth a lot of money. but as i spent hours and hours thinking about myself, weighing my skills, my lack or abundance of experience, my intelligence, my personality - i really wondered- how much am i worth? lisa is so sure, while i'm so UNsure.

as i spent this weekend praying, i saw that God thinks i'm worth so much - enough to sacrifice His only Son to save my little life. but the world i live in - it probably doesn't think i'm worth that much b/c i don't have an ivy league degree or a background in finance, and therefore i deserve to be paid little.

i'm really hating this whole process b/c i hate haggling (it's really not my nature), and i hate being judged. and then afterwards - whatever u end up with - it becomes a label. i imagine myself in a grocery store. and there u see - mia! in a big box (sort of like a giant barbie) sitting on a shelf, with the price tag stuck on the outside of the box. and there walks by various companies - thinking to themselves, "Hmm... will mia ever go on sale? is there a coupon for her? is this a good deal? is she worth the money or can i find something better?"

corporate life is so judgmental. we get evaluated every year, and we get raises and bonuses that are commensurate with how hard we worked and achieved success. we have resumes that people skim in 5 seconds and label you "qualified" or "not qualified" when it took you years to build up everything on that 1 sheet of paper.

negotiation - it's not just about the money - it's so much more.

on a happy note - i have a new job! =) hallelujah!

San Francisco!

* for some reason, the formatting is getting all weird. so the captions/paragraphs don't match the pics. sorry!

Sorry for the delayed blog entry! i've been so busy at work that i haven't had time to blog about me and walter's trip to san francisco! it was my first real vacation ever, and i had so much fun! since i never post up facebook albums, i'll post a few of my favorite pics here on my blog!

here is us at 5am waiting for the air tran to get to jfk. we are very tired.


first thing we did was go to in-n-out! my first time! it was quite tasty!


















so then we drove to santa cruz and i got to see the pacific ocean for the time! it was so beautiful! the water is so blue and clean! no pebbles, no shells, no floating seaweed! couldn't believe!

(walter's attempt at jumping pics are so sad. he just looks like's levitating in the air. it's such a contrast next to my obvious excitement. haha!)















here are walter's friends from dartmouth: nannan and harry. this is nannan's first time eating funnel cake. i'm glad i was able to be part of his first time, considering i am a funnel cake monger. =)












we then drove down to carmel. this is where i truly fell in love with the pacific ocean. it was the most beautiful place i've ever laid eyes on. too bad my picture barely captures the magnificence of God's beauty.
















(for you golf lovers, in the background, you can see pebble beach.

the next day, we had a day of wine tasting in napa. on the drive to one of the places we went to, Kuletto's, we saw oprah's house on top of a mountain! how cool is that??
walter and i went on a duck tour of SF. in case you don't know what a duck tour is - it's a vehicle that can travel on land AND water! so part of our tour was driving around SF, and then we traveled in the water!
















i got to drive the duck boat while we were in the water! it was fun, but a little stressful! =)

on tues, walter and i took the trolley to fisherman's wharf.

animal-shaped bread at boudin bakery! (yes, i bought one and ate it. i felt bad eating him...)


Best 2 lb crab i ever ate. soooooooo tasty!

we then went to alcatraz for the audio tour. it was pretty cool, but kind of creepy since u hear the actual former jail ppl narrating what it was like. =(


(had the cutest and tastiest mini donuts from brian's recommendation. thanks brian!)



on wed, we went to mama's for brunch. (thanks joanne and grace for the suggestion!) it was AMAZING. soooo tasty. the first thing i ate was a chocolate drizzle coffee crumb cake. it was all warm and soft. so delicious!
































on thurs, walter and i did more sightseeing - chinatown, grace cathedral, etc. we had to walk up one of sf's notoriously steep hills. i thought i was slowly dying. i had to take breaks every few steps. look at how steep it is! sometimes, they build staircases into the sidewalk bc it's just easier to walk up steps than to walk up the hill!




we then went all the way to the land's end, went to see the cliffs and ancient bathhouse ruins. very cool, but pretty dangerous. apparently lots of ppl have died from falling off the cliffs and drowning. i've never seen the ocean look so angry. i felt like i could've been an extra on Lost. haha.












on friday, we went to the mission, and went to Ike's Place. (saw it on Man vs Food.) it was the BEST sandwich i've ever eaten in my life, hands down. everyone needs to go here.
















We then went to Bi-Rite Creamery based on grace cho's recommendation. i think walter was skeptical about how good the salted caramel ice cream would be, but it was surprisingly good!

later that day, we went to a bunch of places like lombard street, the full house houses, twin peaks. my fave pic was when walter and i tried to re-enact the opening scene for Full House when the tanner family runs down the hill. haha! =D (thanks harry for being a good sport about taking such cheesy pics for us! and thanks walter for agreeing to be part of this embarrassing reenactment!)

on friday, walter and i biked across the golden gate bridge. it was super tiring, but worth it! totally a once in a lifetime thing, but i will never do it again. our poor butts were so sore for days.





























(the bridge is REALLY windy! walter hasn't cut his hair in 4 months in this pic. haha! in the 2nd pic, we're resting in sausolite! we made it to the other side!)

on our last day, we went to a giants vs cardinals game. got to see albert pujols! (jen was so proud!) these are walter's dartmouth friends again: nannan, brian, harry.






















and finally, here we are - devastated to come back to ny. when the pilot said, "welcome to ny!" we both whimpered with sadness.

















some thoughts i had while i was in sf:

1. sf is a missionary's land of surplus. there are sooooooo many homeless people. there's one every 5 feet. i was shocked at how many there are compared to nyc! i thought we had a lot, but man, i guess i was totally wrong. interestingly, i did see a bunch of times where ppl would talk to them about God and stuff. so like i said - it's a missionary's land of opportunity.

2. boys love sportscenter and espn and can watch the same game over and over in the highlights, and talk about it forever, and yet, it will never die or get beaten to death. dang... i've never had to sit through so much espn in my entire life. i missed my girly shows!

3. i think bc sf was the original chinatown in history, there are a LOT of asian ppl. i got really sad bc everywhere we went, the low-wage employees were asian ppl. many of them were older asian employees. i guess, being from ny, i'm used to seeing spanish people being the minorities who would work these low-paying jobs. but seeing asian ppl really struck a sad chord in me. made me think that it could be someone like my own parents doing this kind of stuff.

4. overall- i had a GREAT time in sf! it was so fun and relaxing! thanks harry for taking care of us and driving us everywhere! nannan/crane - thanks for cooking for us! u guys are pretty awesome! i can't wait to go on my next vacation! i think i officially now have the travel bug. =D

hope u guys had fun looking at my pics! =)

a mini break from life

today, i ate at a diner by myself for the first time in my life. no, it's not bc i'm a loser and have no friends. but i actually wanted to eat at a diner by myself with a good book in my free hand.

it was an interesting experience. for a long time, i was in my own world, wholly absorbed in my book, while my other hand slowly and mindlessly put more food into my mouth. it was so nice. a treat for my mouth, and a treat for my brain. (murder mystery - can't put it down.)

after i started feeling full, i put the book down, and looked around at my surroundings. there was a son with his elderly father. as they put on their coats, they said to the waitress, "see you tomorrow!" it surprised me that they must eat here everyday. at the next table, a woman was eating pancakes by herself. we made eye contact for a moment, and i wondered if she felt lonely, or if she thought i was lonely. i wondered if she was judging me for being here by myself. but then again, i really didn't care.

i put my book down, stared out the window, and fell in love with the blue sky and sun shining down on me. i felt like this was what my life should be like - sleeping in (no exhaustion), eating a full, delicious breakfast (not just a granola bar), reading leisurely (not working), and basking in the sun (not trapped in a cube). it felt so glorious to have had such a quiet moment to myself. i felt so dramatic - like i was seeing myself in a movie. the pensive girl, feet propped up on the seat in front of her, little argyle socks poking out, hair swept up in a messy ponytale with wispy bangs falling against her cheek, broodingly journaling the secret thoughts in her heart. (no, i didn't have my journal with me, but it's for theatrical effect.) haha. i know, i'm so melodramatic, but i'm a sucker for this kind of thing.

sigh. it was a beautiful way to start my day. i wish i could have more of these days. perhaps it really was my muse. it got me writing again in this blog, didn't it? oh glorious quiet day - please come back and visit me again sometime soon. =)

parting is such sweet sorrow

i knew this day was coming. every time i did laundry, i could feel the fabric becoming thinner and weaker. i could see the fading of the bright pink color into the pallor of old age. my jammie pants were dying, and there was nothing i could do to stop it.

yesterday, as i stayed in my jammies all day b/c of my snow day from work (muhahaha!) i felt something weird on my thigh. lo and behold - a tear had formed on my right butt cheek. so i thought, okay, this isn't good, but this isn't bad. i can still wear them a little more, as long as i'm careful.

but after an entire day of lying in my bed watching tv shows and movies, then moving to the couch to read magazine after magazine, by the time i went to bed, i noticed that something felt horribly wrong with my jammie pants.

and when i finally went to the mirror, i saw the grim reaper face to face.

i took off my jammie pants for the last time, let out a shout of grief of "NOOOO!! WHY GOD WHY??!!" and folded them up.


good bye jammie pants. i wore you for at least 3 years. you were good to me. you made me feel at home. your vibrant pink color with flowers always made me feel a little more cheerful than i had been before. goodbye... i'll miss you! =(

handcuffs, rehab, and grace - oh my!

yesterday, while i was at old navy, i saw 2 police officers walking with 2 teenage girls. when they passed me by, i saw that the 2 girls were handcuffed. it was quite shocking for me. i've never actually seen someone up close handcuffed and being taken out by police, and also, i was rather frightened by the fact that they were mere inches from me, and could've attacked me if they had wanted to.

but what really surprised me were the girls' expressions. when they had passed me by, i had looked straight into their eyes. i had expected to see fear in their eyes, but instead, all i saw was some form of extreme annoyance or anger. there was not a single ounce of remorse in their faces - only a grimace.

i couldn't help but remember my own childhood. i'm ashamed to admit this, but when i was an adolescent, i used to have a stealing problem. i only stole small things, but there was a reason to that. whenever i stood in front of the object i wanted to steal, worst-case scenarios always played through my head. i imagined getting caught by the store, and then the police coming and handcuffing me and hauling me away in a police car, where i'd have to sit in a jail cell, surrounded by other criminals, and then have to shamefully call my parents with a quarter, and explain to them what i had done - all for what? a small tube of nail polish. in those moments of being paralyzed with fear of my vivid imaginations, i always wavered between what i should do and what i wanted to do. and sometimes, my fear would prevent me from stealing. i always thought that if i DID get caught stealing, the police would drag me out of there crying and begging for mercy.

but these girls did not. i stood there, watching the girls walk away with their hands handcuffed behind them, with the police with a strong grip on their arms, and there were no tears falling down their faces. there was no screaming for mercy. why were they so angry? were they just annoyed for getting caught? why didn't they feel scared about spending a night in jail?

i stood there for a while, (unable to shop) wondering what was the difference between me and those girls. why did we have such different reactions? and the only thing i could think of was Jesus. i knew what was wrong and right, and i knew that i didn't want to face judgment from my parents, the law, and my Father, and i knew that i didn't want to jeopardize my spot in heaven for a measly tube of lip gloss. but maybe these girls didn't know Jesus. maybe they didn't feel like they had anything to lose if they disobeyed the law. maybe they didn't know what it felt like to feel the disappointment of the ones who love you and believe in you.

it reminded me of the past few nights in my apt. one of my roommates is really into this show called "celebrity rehab with dr. drew." and after every episode she watches, she always comes running into our rooms exclaiming how these people need Jesus so badly. that their lives would be so much less disastrous if they only knew and felt the love of God in their lives. how different would our world be if we all did? would there even be a show called celebrity rehab if we all had God as our best buddy?

man, i forget what the world is like sometimes b/c i'm so involved in my christian church bubble. i forget sometimes that there are REAL people out there who are so broken or so unaware of all that God can offer. how much better is a spot in heaven than to steal a pair of jeans from old navy? how much better is the peace of God compared to a shot of heroin?

who would've thought a quick stop in old navy would've been this eye-opening? =)

2009 - a year in recap

hi all!

long time no post! this entry is a little late - but i've been suffering/recovering from food poisoning, so it's been delayed a few days. haha.

since the last week of december to now, i've been thinking a lot about 2009. was it a good year? was it a bad year? am i looking forward to 2010? to be honest - i actually was NOT looking forward to 2010 b/c i felt like there were no good things to look forward to, b/c there weren't any definite good things that i knew were going to happen in the coming year. and b/c i'm still attending the wounds of 2009, i just wasn't seeing the rainbow to my hope.

so i said, mia - it's time you think about 2009 really carefully. was it really all that bad? i bet u can think of SOME good things about 2009. and so i did. i made a list of all the memorable things of 2009 - good and bad. here we go!

bad memories:
1. going to the dentist every weekend for 3 months to get 2 root canals. eek! those were some unpleasant weekends of having a sore mouth. haha, and man, for 3 months, i could only eat on one side of my mouth at a time. that made my slow-eating habits even slower!

2. going to the gym for what seemed like an eternity in order to get hot for bryan/carol's wedding. (which didn't even work in the end!!) man, i hate the gym. the smell, the sights, the routine-ness of it all - it reminds me of prison! i also did not enjoy eating so many salads. haha.

3. moving out of my briarwood studio. that was such a sad time! i lived in that studio for 3 years, and i was finally leaving it to move closer to walter, closer to work, and cheap rent. it was so, so hard for me to say goodbye. i loved that apt! it was so cute and mia-esque! i cried a lot as i locked my door for the last time.

4. FLEAS. eugh... just thinking about it makes me cranky. man, going through something like eradicating a flea situation is so hard on your patience and overall outlook on life. going home every night, knowing and seeing the fleas jump around on my bed was horrible. washing all my clothes every weekend was ridiculously annoying and time-consuming and expensive. cleaning the house from head to toe was exhausting and frustrating b/c there seemed to be no fruit from it. the fleas would still be there, and we would continue our endless misery. man, i wish fleas upon no one. and if i ever see my exterminator again, i will give him a BIG HUG for bringing joy back into my life. ahh, pesticides - how i love you.

5. and the worst memory of all - my awful work situation from june - oct. it was a long time for me to be so miserable at work. sigh. all the crying and stress is still so fresh in my mind. it was so painful for me to try to be faithful in truly believing that God had a purpose for this - and that it would eventually come to an end. man, i was such an unpleasant person during those months. if u looked up the word debbie downer in the dictionary - u'd see my picture. the only plus to this whole awfulness was how much weight i lost due to stress. i finally got down to my original weight, and my clothes fit again! haha. sigh - not eating for a few months will do that to u.

u may be saying to yourself - dang, mia had a rough year. and yes, yes she did. but here's what made 2009 good!

1. the awesomeness called Lost. haha, walter and i watched Lost seasons 2-present all in the span of a few short months. it was glorious. i couldn't stop watching. sure, we didn't see sunlight much on the weekends, but whatever. i couldn't tear myself away from the juiciness of all that this crazy island brings.

2. wedding videographer - stillmotion. man, they changed my life. after i saw their amazing talent, it opened doors to my imagination and gave me a renewed passion for romance and love. hahaha. u guys have no idea how many wedding videos i watched and teared up to.

3. new roommates. having lived alone for 3 years made me quite wary of living with roommates again. i wasn't sure if i could do it - let alone if i would like it. i quite enjoyed having my privacy, my ability to walk around in my underwear if i pleased, and to be able to sing at the top of my lungs without anyone to bother. but u know, God surprised me with this one. i expected at most friendship with my 2 roommies. but i never expected this - accountability, sisterhood, prayer warriors, and just plain fun. haha. it's been great!

4. brooklyn bridge! walter and i walked across the brooklyn bridge. it was awesome! it felt like an adventure as we walked from one borough to another. there's just something romantic about walking hand in hand with the one u love under the stars with the city lights aglow all around - especially with a destination of a famous ice cream place in mind. haha. =)

5. weddings and engagements. i got to stand in bryan/carol's wedding - one of my beloved friends. man, i couldn't stop crying that whole day. and i got to be paparazzi for the first time for carol/calvin's engagement. it was beautiful to be part of such a special moment. i love love - but it's amazing to be part of other people's love.

6. Glee! i love this show! good songs, good singing, ridiculous storylines, fun characters! what's not to love? ah, this show brings me so much weekly joy. life had a burst of happiness to look forward to every week. i can't wait til it's back!

7. christmas acappella. the resurrection of my past life. sigh. from warming up to the thrill/nausea of performing. i love it all. i forgot how i much i missed it. it was such a gift to be able to have been able to get a taste of it again.

8. being santa to my family. gift giving is my love language, and it brings me a lot of joy to be able to buy presents for my family and loved ones. u know, i may not make a lot of money, but i don't care. when it's christmas, i just can't help but want to shower my family with gifts i know they'll love. and i thank God for Jesus' birthday so that i can have this chance every year to bring a little joy to everyone else.

overall - when i think about the good vs the bad, i think the good outweighs the bad. and yeah, there were definitely a LOT of rough times this year, but i'm glad i did this exercise of gratitude. no matter how bad things may seem, or even are, there are always, ALWAYS, reasons to smile. and most of all, i'm thankful for how much i grew this year. God did a lot of stretching to this body of mine. i whined and cried through most of it, but i'm still alive and kicking - thanks to His grace, and thanks to my close friends, family, and bf who prayed for me and stuck by me even tho i was not a fun gal to be around. i survived, and i think i'm a little stronger for it.

here's to 2010! hope it's a good one! =)