handcuffs, rehab, and grace - oh my!

yesterday, while i was at old navy, i saw 2 police officers walking with 2 teenage girls. when they passed me by, i saw that the 2 girls were handcuffed. it was quite shocking for me. i've never actually seen someone up close handcuffed and being taken out by police, and also, i was rather frightened by the fact that they were mere inches from me, and could've attacked me if they had wanted to.

but what really surprised me were the girls' expressions. when they had passed me by, i had looked straight into their eyes. i had expected to see fear in their eyes, but instead, all i saw was some form of extreme annoyance or anger. there was not a single ounce of remorse in their faces - only a grimace.

i couldn't help but remember my own childhood. i'm ashamed to admit this, but when i was an adolescent, i used to have a stealing problem. i only stole small things, but there was a reason to that. whenever i stood in front of the object i wanted to steal, worst-case scenarios always played through my head. i imagined getting caught by the store, and then the police coming and handcuffing me and hauling me away in a police car, where i'd have to sit in a jail cell, surrounded by other criminals, and then have to shamefully call my parents with a quarter, and explain to them what i had done - all for what? a small tube of nail polish. in those moments of being paralyzed with fear of my vivid imaginations, i always wavered between what i should do and what i wanted to do. and sometimes, my fear would prevent me from stealing. i always thought that if i DID get caught stealing, the police would drag me out of there crying and begging for mercy.

but these girls did not. i stood there, watching the girls walk away with their hands handcuffed behind them, with the police with a strong grip on their arms, and there were no tears falling down their faces. there was no screaming for mercy. why were they so angry? were they just annoyed for getting caught? why didn't they feel scared about spending a night in jail?

i stood there for a while, (unable to shop) wondering what was the difference between me and those girls. why did we have such different reactions? and the only thing i could think of was Jesus. i knew what was wrong and right, and i knew that i didn't want to face judgment from my parents, the law, and my Father, and i knew that i didn't want to jeopardize my spot in heaven for a measly tube of lip gloss. but maybe these girls didn't know Jesus. maybe they didn't feel like they had anything to lose if they disobeyed the law. maybe they didn't know what it felt like to feel the disappointment of the ones who love you and believe in you.

it reminded me of the past few nights in my apt. one of my roommates is really into this show called "celebrity rehab with dr. drew." and after every episode she watches, she always comes running into our rooms exclaiming how these people need Jesus so badly. that their lives would be so much less disastrous if they only knew and felt the love of God in their lives. how different would our world be if we all did? would there even be a show called celebrity rehab if we all had God as our best buddy?

man, i forget what the world is like sometimes b/c i'm so involved in my christian church bubble. i forget sometimes that there are REAL people out there who are so broken or so unaware of all that God can offer. how much better is a spot in heaven than to steal a pair of jeans from old navy? how much better is the peace of God compared to a shot of heroin?

who would've thought a quick stop in old navy would've been this eye-opening? =)