so, i recently have had to negotiate salary for a job offer, and man - the whole process really messes with your head.
first, i had to research what industry standards are for my position. then i had to figure out what i wanted to highball with.
and while i understand the whole process of me asking for a higher range so that the offer will eventually land in the area i want it to, i can't help but think - the negotiation process is so judgmental!
both parties are thinking and calculating - what is mia worth? and this is an awful feeling. my roommate lisa (my personal cheerleader) REALLY believes in me - that i'm valuable and that i'm worth a lot of money. but as i spent hours and hours thinking about myself, weighing my skills, my lack or abundance of experience, my intelligence, my personality - i really wondered- how much am i worth? lisa is so sure, while i'm so UNsure.
as i spent this weekend praying, i saw that God thinks i'm worth so much - enough to sacrifice His only Son to save my little life. but the world i live in - it probably doesn't think i'm worth that much b/c i don't have an ivy league degree or a background in finance, and therefore i deserve to be paid little.
i'm really hating this whole process b/c i hate haggling (it's really not my nature), and i hate being judged. and then afterwards - whatever u end up with - it becomes a label. i imagine myself in a grocery store. and there u see - mia! in a big box (sort of like a giant barbie) sitting on a shelf, with the price tag stuck on the outside of the box. and there walks by various companies - thinking to themselves, "Hmm... will mia ever go on sale? is there a coupon for her? is this a good deal? is she worth the money or can i find something better?"
corporate life is so judgmental. we get evaluated every year, and we get raises and bonuses that are commensurate with how hard we worked and achieved success. we have resumes that people skim in 5 seconds and label you "qualified" or "not qualified" when it took you years to build up everything on that 1 sheet of paper.
negotiation - it's not just about the money - it's so much more.
on a happy note - i have a new job! =) hallelujah!
