Last week was another busy week for us - but again in a sad way. On Tuesday, Sy's uncle passed away. It was very sudden and came out of the blue. It became another whirlwind week for us as we made funeral arrangements and what not.
On Wed evening, we brought Emily with us to the funeral service. We decided not to leave her at home again since she's shown to be able to stay up a little longer. She did great and didn't get cranky at all until we finally got home around 9:30pm. She was a real trooper for staying up so late. On Thurs morning, we went to the burial and again put Emily through no sleep. She was again a pretty good trooper and lasted until we got her home around 2:30pm. Poor girl was so sleep deprived.
On top of that, we took Emily out on Sat into the city for a baby shower. Poor girl was awake for 4 hours, and then only slept 20 min in the car. And bc she was so exhausted, she couldn't fall asleep again for a nap. She ended up only sleeping 1 hour 50 min in total that day. She was so exhausted that on Sunday, she napped for 4.5 hours. We felt bad bc it was literally 5 days straight of not getting enough sleep. But she survived, and I'm glad she's relatively okay.
Emily's eating has been very tough this week. We're not sure if it's bc she's finally teething again or if it was the constant exhaustion. But regardless, she just kept crying and being very difficult when we fed her solids. She would swat at the spoon getting food everywhere. She would cry and try to get out of her seat. She was so miserable. So on top of her drinking less milk in general, she was also not eating as much. I was pretty concerned for a while.
When I say that Emily is finally teething again - I forgot to mention that Emily's teeth have been somewhat delayed. She sprouted 2 teeth a while ago - maybe month 7? And since then, no new teeth have come out. But she's been doing this thing where she's been biting her top lip a lot. So I'm hoping that maybe it's finally happening.
In terms of Emily's developments, she's definitely getting better and better at everything. She crawls on her hands and knees more frequently now. She pulls herself up onto everything. She can cruise with confidence now. Overall, I'm pretty proud of her! I don't know if she'll be able to walk by the time she's 1, but here's hoping!
We also finally booked Emily's dohl venue! I can't believe we're actually starting to plan this thing. It's pretty crazy that in 2 months, Emily will be 1 year old. Time really flies.
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Moving, moving, moving - Week 41 Observations
It's been another really fun week of developments for Emily. It's kind of shocking to see how much she changes week to week now.
One of the most exciting things from last week is that Emily started cruising. She can now take small steps while holding on to stuff. I started her off at our ottoman and putting snacks on opposite sides of it so that she'd have to walk to go and reach it. She did pretty well! She then just started doing it by herself wherever she was holding herself up. She cruises on the sofa, on the dining bench, along her jumper chair, along the recycle bin and trash can, everywhere! It's pretty cute to see.
As a result, I'm starting to have Emily practice walking. We have this enormous Amazon box in our house that I was saving to use to store some bulky baby items. But I started using it as a blockade bc Emily seems to have some kind of strange obsession with touching underneath the refrigerator. So I put this box there to prevent her from getting to it. But it turned out, she pulled herself up on it and then it would slowly move forward due to her weight of standing against it, and then she would walk with it! So our little girl basically created her own little walker! She can basically walk down our entire hallway using that giant box as her walker! I was so proud of her! Therefore, I immediately bought her one of those real walkers for her to practice with. It's still a bit too fast for her right now, but I'm sure we're going to start using it soon.
In a very surprising turn of events, Emily has also started crawling on her knees! I didn't think it was ever going to happen bc she just didn't seem to want to try it at all. But lo and behold - she did it! She just one day started doing it. The funny thing is, even when she crawls on her knees, she is still a strange person and occasionally uses her left foot to help move herself along. So then she looks so awkward bc she's got one knee on the ground and one leg up like a spider. Haha. She can't seem to just not let her right leg not be more dominant. It's hilarious to see. But regardless, I'm proud that she's giving it a try. I thought she would never stop doing her injured leg crawl. And it turns out, she still loves her injured leg crawl. She's much faster that way, so when she's really impatient to get somewhere, she switches back to that and makes her way.
Good news is that Emily is starting to drink more milk again. She's not back to normal, but at least she's starting to finish some of her bottles again.
A fun thing was that our local community center had a tree lighting ceremony on Wed night that also included a time of meeting with Santa. We brought Emily to the event and I was pretty excited to get a picture with Santa. For the first photo, I sat with Emily and Santa and took a photo together. But then we thought we'd give it a try to see if Emily could take a solo pic with Santa. As soon as I left her, she realized that I was no longer holding her and that her parents were in front of her. So that meant a strange man was holding her. The look of panic in her Santa photos make us laugh so hard.
Over the weekend, Sy and I had one of the worst fights we've had in a long time. And unfortunately, it was not possible to not fight in front of Emily. It made me wonder if she could sense something was wrong. Did she notice that we were both yelling and screaming? Did she feel scared? She didn't seem scared. If anything, she kept on smiling at me. Regardless of how Emily felt, it felt very odd and sad to me to fight in front of her. I wanted to protect her from all the yelling - help her to only know a world that is happy. But we couldn't stop fighting in front of her. It's made me wonder what will happen in the future when she's more cognizant of this. Will she take sides? Will she feel nervous about divorce? I used to be terrified of divorce when I was a child. When does that fear become a real fear for kids? I don't really know what the solution is in terms of how to fight when you have children. But all I know is that I didn't like. And I just hope there are no fights for her to ever have to witness.
In the meantime, I love Emily to death with each new day. And I hope that I can always bring joy and sunshine into her life through whatever darkness that may come her way.
One of the most exciting things from last week is that Emily started cruising. She can now take small steps while holding on to stuff. I started her off at our ottoman and putting snacks on opposite sides of it so that she'd have to walk to go and reach it. She did pretty well! She then just started doing it by herself wherever she was holding herself up. She cruises on the sofa, on the dining bench, along her jumper chair, along the recycle bin and trash can, everywhere! It's pretty cute to see.
As a result, I'm starting to have Emily practice walking. We have this enormous Amazon box in our house that I was saving to use to store some bulky baby items. But I started using it as a blockade bc Emily seems to have some kind of strange obsession with touching underneath the refrigerator. So I put this box there to prevent her from getting to it. But it turned out, she pulled herself up on it and then it would slowly move forward due to her weight of standing against it, and then she would walk with it! So our little girl basically created her own little walker! She can basically walk down our entire hallway using that giant box as her walker! I was so proud of her! Therefore, I immediately bought her one of those real walkers for her to practice with. It's still a bit too fast for her right now, but I'm sure we're going to start using it soon.
In a very surprising turn of events, Emily has also started crawling on her knees! I didn't think it was ever going to happen bc she just didn't seem to want to try it at all. But lo and behold - she did it! She just one day started doing it. The funny thing is, even when she crawls on her knees, she is still a strange person and occasionally uses her left foot to help move herself along. So then she looks so awkward bc she's got one knee on the ground and one leg up like a spider. Haha. She can't seem to just not let her right leg not be more dominant. It's hilarious to see. But regardless, I'm proud that she's giving it a try. I thought she would never stop doing her injured leg crawl. And it turns out, she still loves her injured leg crawl. She's much faster that way, so when she's really impatient to get somewhere, she switches back to that and makes her way.
Good news is that Emily is starting to drink more milk again. She's not back to normal, but at least she's starting to finish some of her bottles again.
A fun thing was that our local community center had a tree lighting ceremony on Wed night that also included a time of meeting with Santa. We brought Emily to the event and I was pretty excited to get a picture with Santa. For the first photo, I sat with Emily and Santa and took a photo together. But then we thought we'd give it a try to see if Emily could take a solo pic with Santa. As soon as I left her, she realized that I was no longer holding her and that her parents were in front of her. So that meant a strange man was holding her. The look of panic in her Santa photos make us laugh so hard.
Over the weekend, Sy and I had one of the worst fights we've had in a long time. And unfortunately, it was not possible to not fight in front of Emily. It made me wonder if she could sense something was wrong. Did she notice that we were both yelling and screaming? Did she feel scared? She didn't seem scared. If anything, she kept on smiling at me. Regardless of how Emily felt, it felt very odd and sad to me to fight in front of her. I wanted to protect her from all the yelling - help her to only know a world that is happy. But we couldn't stop fighting in front of her. It's made me wonder what will happen in the future when she's more cognizant of this. Will she take sides? Will she feel nervous about divorce? I used to be terrified of divorce when I was a child. When does that fear become a real fear for kids? I don't really know what the solution is in terms of how to fight when you have children. But all I know is that I didn't like. And I just hope there are no fights for her to ever have to witness.
In the meantime, I love Emily to death with each new day. And I hope that I can always bring joy and sunshine into her life through whatever darkness that may come her way.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Stand up and stand tall - Week 40 observations
Last week was another interesting week of developments! I thought last week was a whirlwind of developments with all of her new crawling, but it turns out it doesn't stop.
Her big thing last week was learning how to stand up! She now knows how to pull herself up into a standing position. We were hanging out in her room, and she was in her crib, and she somehow figured out how to go from being on her belly to grabbing the top of the crib, then pulling herself up so that her legs were standing. I was shocked at how easy it was for her. And just like that, she just grew up! Sy and I had to lower the crib that night so that we could make sure she doesn't pull herself up in the middle of the night and then fall out of the crib. We both got very sad to lower her crib and made us reminisce when she used to be small enough to lie vertically in her crib. And now here we are - lowering her crib bc she's too tall for the highest setting.
On top of that, Emily is just a standing up machine. She constantly pulls herself up onto anything - the ottoman, the sofa backs/arm rests, boxes, me, Sy, everything! It's pretty amazing to see her muscles get stronger. I'm so proud of her. It makes me wonder if she truly will skip this crawling phase and just go straight to walking. Emily doesn't seem to be evolving into a normal hands/knees crawl. So I wonder if she just has no interest in it.
In other news - we can confirm that Emily is not allergic to peanut butter or eggs! Yay! Man, I was so nervous this weekend to test her on them, but she did fine! No allergic reactions - just enjoyed all the flavors. Hooray and whew!
Emily is finally done with her cold. She has a slight runny nose all the way until Wed of last week. But once she finished, I noticed that she stopped screaming at the top of her lungs. I guess it really was due to her sickness. Thank God it's over though. That was a really annoying time. Emily's milk intake is still on the lower side, but she's SLOWLY starting to drink more milk per feeding. She leaves a little bit less each time. I hope that she finally goes back to normal soon. I want her to grow up healthy!
Her big thing last week was learning how to stand up! She now knows how to pull herself up into a standing position. We were hanging out in her room, and she was in her crib, and she somehow figured out how to go from being on her belly to grabbing the top of the crib, then pulling herself up so that her legs were standing. I was shocked at how easy it was for her. And just like that, she just grew up! Sy and I had to lower the crib that night so that we could make sure she doesn't pull herself up in the middle of the night and then fall out of the crib. We both got very sad to lower her crib and made us reminisce when she used to be small enough to lie vertically in her crib. And now here we are - lowering her crib bc she's too tall for the highest setting.
On top of that, Emily is just a standing up machine. She constantly pulls herself up onto anything - the ottoman, the sofa backs/arm rests, boxes, me, Sy, everything! It's pretty amazing to see her muscles get stronger. I'm so proud of her. It makes me wonder if she truly will skip this crawling phase and just go straight to walking. Emily doesn't seem to be evolving into a normal hands/knees crawl. So I wonder if she just has no interest in it.
In other news - we can confirm that Emily is not allergic to peanut butter or eggs! Yay! Man, I was so nervous this weekend to test her on them, but she did fine! No allergic reactions - just enjoyed all the flavors. Hooray and whew!
Emily is finally done with her cold. She has a slight runny nose all the way until Wed of last week. But once she finished, I noticed that she stopped screaming at the top of her lungs. I guess it really was due to her sickness. Thank God it's over though. That was a really annoying time. Emily's milk intake is still on the lower side, but she's SLOWLY starting to drink more milk per feeding. She leaves a little bit less each time. I hope that she finally goes back to normal soon. I want her to grow up healthy!
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Swiffering the house via belly - Week 39 Observations
Last week was a fun week for the family. Emily developed so much, and it was super nice having Sy home for most of it bc of Thanksgiving weekend.
The biggest update is that Emily is crawling so fast now! She's still doing her injured soldier crawl, but it's like she's learned to live with her handicap and is now super fast in her funny way. In the past, Emily didn't venture past the play mat, but last week, she started going places! She now crawls all over the house. If she can't see me, then she will come and find! One time, she found me just by following the sound of my voice! She crawls down the hall, she crawls into rooms, she crawls everywhere. It's super adorable to see and I'm really loving this fun phase!
Emily has learned a new trick! When we give her snacks, which we call kka kka, I like to put one in my hand. I show her both my hands, and then I close them into fists and turn my hands over. I ask her, which hand is the kka kka in? and she grabs the hand with the cheerio/puff inside! I'm so proud of her for this! I know she's not some genius baby, but at least she's not an idiot! Hahaha! It's so fun teaching tricks to babies. Emily is definitely not one for tricks, but at least she's gained this one. I think she has FINALLY mastered high-five. But even that, she only does it with people she likes. SMH.
Emily has gotten so much stronger with her standing up. We saw her pull herself up into a standing position using our ottoman twice! This also means that I can no longer leave her in a laundry basket when I need to pee bc she will pull herself up and then topple over bc the laundry basket is too lightweight.
I forgot to mention last week that Emily LOVES Alexa. She now knows that the magical robot Alexa sits on my nightstand and when we call her name, she lights up and talks to us. It's so funny to see her enthralled by Alexa. Whenever I sit her on our bed, she immediately crawls toward Alexa and tries to talk to her. So then when I say Alexa!, she looks at me and smiles bc she knows something fun is about to happen. It's so cute how she tries to talk to Alexa herself. It's her favorite robot!
In a sad development, Emily no longer drinks milk well. I don't know if it's in conjunction with the fact that she was sick, but she just won't drink her milk anymore. She used to drink 4oz easily per feeding. Now, I can barely get her to finish 2 oz. It's been a real struggle to get her to drink milk, so I end up mixing it in with oatmeal as much as I can so she still gets the nutrients she needs. She eats a TON of solids. So I've been wondering if this new change has to do with her sickness or if she just loves solids that much. Either way, I have not been happy with this change in her diet.
Related to things I don't like, Emily was a screaming monster last week. I think it was related to being sick, but she kept on screaming at the top of her lungs every time she was frustrated - which was a LOT. I've resorted to wearing noise-cancelling headphones when I'm around her so I can protect my ears. I legit can feel a ringing in my ears after she screams. It's been AWFUL.
Last week was Thanksgiving and it was nice that we got to see a lot of family and friends. We had Thanksgiving dinner at Sy's cousin's house in NJ on Thurs night. Emily is so loved. And even though she had her usual stranger danger when people tried to take her, she did relatively okay and warmed up to people after a few hours. We did Thankskgiving again on Friday with my family at our house. Man, it's so nice when you can host your own events so that Emily can sleep whenever she is ready. We went to a bar on Sat to meet up with friends, and again, Emily did great! She skipped a nap, but was still in good spirits and only screamed twice at the end. On Sunday, my cousin from Korea was visiting and wanted to do dinner in the city. We've never taken Emily to the city so late in the day, and we were apprehensive about how it would go. But it was okay! Emily was antsy as usual since she couldn't roam around and play, but she survived being out so late and handled it like a champ! This gave me and Sy a lot of hope that maybe we can start enjoying the city again if we drive out on Sunday nights!
It was a busy week of developments and fun! I was sad to see the weekend come to an end bc it would be back to me and Emily alone all day. But at least we got to enjoy ourselves and our time as a family!
The biggest update is that Emily is crawling so fast now! She's still doing her injured soldier crawl, but it's like she's learned to live with her handicap and is now super fast in her funny way. In the past, Emily didn't venture past the play mat, but last week, she started going places! She now crawls all over the house. If she can't see me, then she will come and find! One time, she found me just by following the sound of my voice! She crawls down the hall, she crawls into rooms, she crawls everywhere. It's super adorable to see and I'm really loving this fun phase!
Emily has learned a new trick! When we give her snacks, which we call kka kka, I like to put one in my hand. I show her both my hands, and then I close them into fists and turn my hands over. I ask her, which hand is the kka kka in? and she grabs the hand with the cheerio/puff inside! I'm so proud of her for this! I know she's not some genius baby, but at least she's not an idiot! Hahaha! It's so fun teaching tricks to babies. Emily is definitely not one for tricks, but at least she's gained this one. I think she has FINALLY mastered high-five. But even that, she only does it with people she likes. SMH.
Emily has gotten so much stronger with her standing up. We saw her pull herself up into a standing position using our ottoman twice! This also means that I can no longer leave her in a laundry basket when I need to pee bc she will pull herself up and then topple over bc the laundry basket is too lightweight.
I forgot to mention last week that Emily LOVES Alexa. She now knows that the magical robot Alexa sits on my nightstand and when we call her name, she lights up and talks to us. It's so funny to see her enthralled by Alexa. Whenever I sit her on our bed, she immediately crawls toward Alexa and tries to talk to her. So then when I say Alexa!, she looks at me and smiles bc she knows something fun is about to happen. It's so cute how she tries to talk to Alexa herself. It's her favorite robot!
In a sad development, Emily no longer drinks milk well. I don't know if it's in conjunction with the fact that she was sick, but she just won't drink her milk anymore. She used to drink 4oz easily per feeding. Now, I can barely get her to finish 2 oz. It's been a real struggle to get her to drink milk, so I end up mixing it in with oatmeal as much as I can so she still gets the nutrients she needs. She eats a TON of solids. So I've been wondering if this new change has to do with her sickness or if she just loves solids that much. Either way, I have not been happy with this change in her diet.
Related to things I don't like, Emily was a screaming monster last week. I think it was related to being sick, but she kept on screaming at the top of her lungs every time she was frustrated - which was a LOT. I've resorted to wearing noise-cancelling headphones when I'm around her so I can protect my ears. I legit can feel a ringing in my ears after she screams. It's been AWFUL.
Last week was Thanksgiving and it was nice that we got to see a lot of family and friends. We had Thanksgiving dinner at Sy's cousin's house in NJ on Thurs night. Emily is so loved. And even though she had her usual stranger danger when people tried to take her, she did relatively okay and warmed up to people after a few hours. We did Thankskgiving again on Friday with my family at our house. Man, it's so nice when you can host your own events so that Emily can sleep whenever she is ready. We went to a bar on Sat to meet up with friends, and again, Emily did great! She skipped a nap, but was still in good spirits and only screamed twice at the end. On Sunday, my cousin from Korea was visiting and wanted to do dinner in the city. We've never taken Emily to the city so late in the day, and we were apprehensive about how it would go. But it was okay! Emily was antsy as usual since she couldn't roam around and play, but she survived being out so late and handled it like a champ! This gave me and Sy a lot of hope that maybe we can start enjoying the city again if we drive out on Sunday nights!
It was a busy week of developments and fun! I was sad to see the weekend come to an end bc it would be back to me and Emily alone all day. But at least we got to enjoy ourselves and our time as a family!
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
In Sickness and In Health - a vow to our baby - Week 38 Observations
Last week was a pretty busy week. I had to go on an interview and it was also Sy's birthday. It's crazy how much harder things are to do when you have a baby.
Because I had an interview on a Wed, Sy had to take a day off from work in order to stay home and watch Emily. And then Thurs, Sy's birthday, I spent every single minute of Emily's naps to prep for the family dinner I was making. It was exhausting not having a single break to just sit down and relax. The party ended up getting cancelled, but I didn't feel sad or frustrated that I had wasted the day cooking and not working on finding a job. I was happy bc we got to spend Sy's birthday just the 3 of us - a first birthday for either of us as a parent. Sy said he was so happy to just be with his girls. Again, another reminder of how different life is when you have a baby. He was content to just see Emily wear a special outfit for his birthday and have a big smile on her face. No need for fanfare - just our little family.
The biggest update for this week was that Emily got her first real cold. She started having a runny nose on Friday, but she seemed fine mostly. I thought maybe it was just one of her weird nose issues like she had in the summer - when it was constantly stuffy. But then by Sat, I started noticing that I felt sick. And then Sunday, Sy and I were both full-blown sick. We must have gotten it from Emily bc that girl just rubs her face all over you and you end up covered in mucus. Plus, Emily loves to stick her fingers in my mouth. So obviously, I was going to be the first to get sick.
Luckily, Emily has been such a good girl despite being sick. She seems to still have her normal amount of energy. She's still smiley and happy. The only difference has been that she has been shrieking at the top of her lungs if she's frustrated or unhappy. It's been legitimately painful to listen to. My ears physically hurt from the loudness and shrillness of it. I genuinely hope this is a phase and will end once the cold has left her body.
Overall, Sy and I have never been so painfully aware of how difficult it is to care for a child when you're sick. On Sunday, we both felt so crappy. Weak, fatigued, sore-throated, no energy - and yet we had to take care of our energetic and somewhat miserable baby. All we wanted to do was lie down and rest for ourselves, but we couldn't. You always see those commercials where parents tell their kids, hey, I'm taking a sick day today. And it's funny bc it's not realistic. But we lived it. And boy, is it realistic. I wanted so badly to just drop Emily off at his mom's and just lie down in bed. This should be a thing - get free babysitting when you're sick. We should look into developing this.
In other news, Emily has been working on her standing. She wants to stand so badly that she's constantly trying to get up. The only problem is that she doesn't know how to. She usually burrows her head into your body to try to get her legs in the standing position. But then she doesn't know how to get the rest of her body upright. It's funny to watch her learn. She's getting pretty good at pulling herself up when she's in the seated position. Just not when she's lying down on her belly.
Other than that, it's been life as usual for Emily and for us. While it was a busy week bc of interviews and Sy's birthday, the days still feel so long as I'm with Emily all day. On Sat night, Sy and I got our first real date night for his birthday. This was our first date night that wasn't a wedding or a concert. But by the time we left his sister's house at 8:30pm after putting Emily down, we were just so exhausted. We went to go get korean bbq bc that's one food you really can't eat out with when you have a baby. We had thought that maybe we could go watch a movie afterwards, but then we cancelled that idea bc we would get back to his sister's way too late. I had suggested we get a nice dessert bc that's also something we haven't been able to do with a baby. But by the time dinner was over, we were so stuffed and so tired that we just wanted to go home and sleep. It was literally an hour and a half. We ended up getting decaf coffee and an ice cream from Dunkin Donuts and sat in the parking lot of Burger King to eat it. That alone was nice bc we didn't have a screaming Emily in the backseat to worry about. Man, what a difference a baby makes. Our simple pleasures now would seem so bleak to our non-baby selves.
Here's to hoping we all survive this first family cold quickly!
Because I had an interview on a Wed, Sy had to take a day off from work in order to stay home and watch Emily. And then Thurs, Sy's birthday, I spent every single minute of Emily's naps to prep for the family dinner I was making. It was exhausting not having a single break to just sit down and relax. The party ended up getting cancelled, but I didn't feel sad or frustrated that I had wasted the day cooking and not working on finding a job. I was happy bc we got to spend Sy's birthday just the 3 of us - a first birthday for either of us as a parent. Sy said he was so happy to just be with his girls. Again, another reminder of how different life is when you have a baby. He was content to just see Emily wear a special outfit for his birthday and have a big smile on her face. No need for fanfare - just our little family.
The biggest update for this week was that Emily got her first real cold. She started having a runny nose on Friday, but she seemed fine mostly. I thought maybe it was just one of her weird nose issues like she had in the summer - when it was constantly stuffy. But then by Sat, I started noticing that I felt sick. And then Sunday, Sy and I were both full-blown sick. We must have gotten it from Emily bc that girl just rubs her face all over you and you end up covered in mucus. Plus, Emily loves to stick her fingers in my mouth. So obviously, I was going to be the first to get sick.
Luckily, Emily has been such a good girl despite being sick. She seems to still have her normal amount of energy. She's still smiley and happy. The only difference has been that she has been shrieking at the top of her lungs if she's frustrated or unhappy. It's been legitimately painful to listen to. My ears physically hurt from the loudness and shrillness of it. I genuinely hope this is a phase and will end once the cold has left her body.
Overall, Sy and I have never been so painfully aware of how difficult it is to care for a child when you're sick. On Sunday, we both felt so crappy. Weak, fatigued, sore-throated, no energy - and yet we had to take care of our energetic and somewhat miserable baby. All we wanted to do was lie down and rest for ourselves, but we couldn't. You always see those commercials where parents tell their kids, hey, I'm taking a sick day today. And it's funny bc it's not realistic. But we lived it. And boy, is it realistic. I wanted so badly to just drop Emily off at his mom's and just lie down in bed. This should be a thing - get free babysitting when you're sick. We should look into developing this.
In other news, Emily has been working on her standing. She wants to stand so badly that she's constantly trying to get up. The only problem is that she doesn't know how to. She usually burrows her head into your body to try to get her legs in the standing position. But then she doesn't know how to get the rest of her body upright. It's funny to watch her learn. She's getting pretty good at pulling herself up when she's in the seated position. Just not when she's lying down on her belly.
Other than that, it's been life as usual for Emily and for us. While it was a busy week bc of interviews and Sy's birthday, the days still feel so long as I'm with Emily all day. On Sat night, Sy and I got our first real date night for his birthday. This was our first date night that wasn't a wedding or a concert. But by the time we left his sister's house at 8:30pm after putting Emily down, we were just so exhausted. We went to go get korean bbq bc that's one food you really can't eat out with when you have a baby. We had thought that maybe we could go watch a movie afterwards, but then we cancelled that idea bc we would get back to his sister's way too late. I had suggested we get a nice dessert bc that's also something we haven't been able to do with a baby. But by the time dinner was over, we were so stuffed and so tired that we just wanted to go home and sleep. It was literally an hour and a half. We ended up getting decaf coffee and an ice cream from Dunkin Donuts and sat in the parking lot of Burger King to eat it. That alone was nice bc we didn't have a screaming Emily in the backseat to worry about. Man, what a difference a baby makes. Our simple pleasures now would seem so bleak to our non-baby selves.
Here's to hoping we all survive this first family cold quickly!
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
When it rains, it pours - Weeks 36+37 Observations
It's been a really crazy 2 weeks over here and I haven't had a chance to write any updates. It's hard for me to even remember Emily's developments over the past 2 weeks.
Halloween came and went. We didn't end up dressing Emily in a costume bc we figured we weren't going anywhere, so why spend the money on a costume just for 5 minutes of photos? I now regret this decision, and I wish I had gotten her a costume anyway. She would've been so cute! Why was I so cheap??
The past 2 weeks have been so hard. On Nov 1, I was laid off from my job. We all knew layoffs were coming, but when it actually happened to me, I was so shocked. As soon as I got the call from HR to ask me to come down, I knew it was me. It was devastating. I spent about 1 hour packing up my desk and 1 hour saying goodbye. I had been with NBC for 6 years - almost 7. It was surreal to know that I wasn't going to come back.
I've been in a state of shock and somewhat depression since it happened. I cried heavily for about 24 hours straight. Every time I talked about it, I couldn't help but cry. The crazy part is that even though I wanted so much to grieve and wallow in my sadness, you can't do that when you have a baby. You just have to put on a smile and keep on taking care of your baby. Babies don't care if you're sad or not. They still need you to take care of them and play with them. If anything, Emily is LOVING having her mom back at home. She seems extra clingy these days - always wanting to be in my lap or my arms. Maybe she thinks I might leave her again. Who knows? But right now, she is loving having it just be me and her again. The thing is, everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy this time with Emily. But it's easier said than done. You would think that I would just go back to the joy I felt when I was on maternity. But it's just not the same. I still feel sadness of having been laid off. I feel like an unproductive, useless person in society who has no job and no title. And not that I have anything against stay at home moms - it's simply bc I was not given that choice - I am forced to stay at home. The other part though is the growing fear inside me. When I was sitting in the HR office, I felt fine for the first 10 min. It was only when they started talking about my benefits ending, that I realized that Emily is under my insurance. And that's when the panic began. How would Emily survive with no insurance? What if something happens to her and we can't afford treatment? And then more panic flooded in as I thought about how we would survive financially on 1 income. Would Emily have to suffer a little bit? I never imagined that I would ever not be able to provide her everything she wanted or needed. Would we have to become more frugal? It freaked me out. Everything is heightened when you have a baby. The stakes are higher. I can live my life eating ramen to save money - but not Emily. Everyday, I'm trying to grow my faith that God will take care of us. But it's a scary time of uncertainty. And anyone who knows me knows that I don't like uncertainty. I like to be prepared for everything. This is the first time I don't feel prepared.
On top of this sadness, Sy's grandmother passed away last week. She was 101 - almost 102. We knew she was going to pass soon, but it still comes with the shock of grief. She passed away last Wed, Nov 7. Sy, Emily, and I went to the hospital on Wed morning bc Sy's dad had called to say that it might be today. When we got there, we saw his grandmother, and after 10 min, she passed away. We all think that Sy's grandma was waiting for him. He was her favorite grandson, and she was waiting to say goodbye to him. After her passing, it was a whirlwind of funeral arrangements, the wake, and the burial. This whole incident has made us think a lot about life and death. One major thought we seem to keep going back to is the fact that despite the sadness we feel over her death, we still feel so much joy bc of Emily. She still makes us smile so much and makes us feel so happy. Even at the funeral, people would always feel better when they saw Emily bc she was so smiley and happy. It's the power of babies - they make the world feel so much better despite so much sorrow. We love her so much and we can't imagine going through this without her.
Emily has been a trooper through it all. We had to leave Emily one night to attend the funeral. Since all of the family was going to be there, we had to leave her with my friend as her babysitter. Emily cried for 45 min bc she couldn't find her mom or dad or really, anyone she knew. She didn't drink any of her milk, and just went to sleep with solids. It broke my heart to know that she was probably scared bc she couldn't find her parents anywhere. And it broke my heart to know that she was so sad that she couldn't even drink her milk. But she went to sleep like a champ, and fell asleep within 10 min by herself.
Emily was a trooper the next day bc we couldn't find a sitter. So we had to bring Emily to the burial. She didn't get to nap much, but she kept pushing through and staying awake when we needed her to. I brought lots of snacks for her, and that helped keep her happy.
It's been a tough time for the Sung family. Both Sy and I are still sad and grieving in our different ways. We are putting our trust in God that He will provide for our little family, and that we will all be okay. We are happy that Sy's grandmother is in a better place, and that she got to meet Emily a few times before she passed. We are eagerly awaiting for good news to come our way and bring more joy back to our lives. In the meantime, we are giving thanks as best as we can.
Halloween came and went. We didn't end up dressing Emily in a costume bc we figured we weren't going anywhere, so why spend the money on a costume just for 5 minutes of photos? I now regret this decision, and I wish I had gotten her a costume anyway. She would've been so cute! Why was I so cheap??
The past 2 weeks have been so hard. On Nov 1, I was laid off from my job. We all knew layoffs were coming, but when it actually happened to me, I was so shocked. As soon as I got the call from HR to ask me to come down, I knew it was me. It was devastating. I spent about 1 hour packing up my desk and 1 hour saying goodbye. I had been with NBC for 6 years - almost 7. It was surreal to know that I wasn't going to come back.
I've been in a state of shock and somewhat depression since it happened. I cried heavily for about 24 hours straight. Every time I talked about it, I couldn't help but cry. The crazy part is that even though I wanted so much to grieve and wallow in my sadness, you can't do that when you have a baby. You just have to put on a smile and keep on taking care of your baby. Babies don't care if you're sad or not. They still need you to take care of them and play with them. If anything, Emily is LOVING having her mom back at home. She seems extra clingy these days - always wanting to be in my lap or my arms. Maybe she thinks I might leave her again. Who knows? But right now, she is loving having it just be me and her again. The thing is, everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy this time with Emily. But it's easier said than done. You would think that I would just go back to the joy I felt when I was on maternity. But it's just not the same. I still feel sadness of having been laid off. I feel like an unproductive, useless person in society who has no job and no title. And not that I have anything against stay at home moms - it's simply bc I was not given that choice - I am forced to stay at home. The other part though is the growing fear inside me. When I was sitting in the HR office, I felt fine for the first 10 min. It was only when they started talking about my benefits ending, that I realized that Emily is under my insurance. And that's when the panic began. How would Emily survive with no insurance? What if something happens to her and we can't afford treatment? And then more panic flooded in as I thought about how we would survive financially on 1 income. Would Emily have to suffer a little bit? I never imagined that I would ever not be able to provide her everything she wanted or needed. Would we have to become more frugal? It freaked me out. Everything is heightened when you have a baby. The stakes are higher. I can live my life eating ramen to save money - but not Emily. Everyday, I'm trying to grow my faith that God will take care of us. But it's a scary time of uncertainty. And anyone who knows me knows that I don't like uncertainty. I like to be prepared for everything. This is the first time I don't feel prepared.
On top of this sadness, Sy's grandmother passed away last week. She was 101 - almost 102. We knew she was going to pass soon, but it still comes with the shock of grief. She passed away last Wed, Nov 7. Sy, Emily, and I went to the hospital on Wed morning bc Sy's dad had called to say that it might be today. When we got there, we saw his grandmother, and after 10 min, she passed away. We all think that Sy's grandma was waiting for him. He was her favorite grandson, and she was waiting to say goodbye to him. After her passing, it was a whirlwind of funeral arrangements, the wake, and the burial. This whole incident has made us think a lot about life and death. One major thought we seem to keep going back to is the fact that despite the sadness we feel over her death, we still feel so much joy bc of Emily. She still makes us smile so much and makes us feel so happy. Even at the funeral, people would always feel better when they saw Emily bc she was so smiley and happy. It's the power of babies - they make the world feel so much better despite so much sorrow. We love her so much and we can't imagine going through this without her.
Emily has been a trooper through it all. We had to leave Emily one night to attend the funeral. Since all of the family was going to be there, we had to leave her with my friend as her babysitter. Emily cried for 45 min bc she couldn't find her mom or dad or really, anyone she knew. She didn't drink any of her milk, and just went to sleep with solids. It broke my heart to know that she was probably scared bc she couldn't find her parents anywhere. And it broke my heart to know that she was so sad that she couldn't even drink her milk. But she went to sleep like a champ, and fell asleep within 10 min by herself.
Emily was a trooper the next day bc we couldn't find a sitter. So we had to bring Emily to the burial. She didn't get to nap much, but she kept pushing through and staying awake when we needed her to. I brought lots of snacks for her, and that helped keep her happy.
It's been a tough time for the Sung family. Both Sy and I are still sad and grieving in our different ways. We are putting our trust in God that He will provide for our little family, and that we will all be okay. We are happy that Sy's grandmother is in a better place, and that she got to meet Emily a few times before she passed. We are eagerly awaiting for good news to come our way and bring more joy back to our lives. In the meantime, we are giving thanks as best as we can.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Wounded Soldier Incoming! - Week 35 observations
This weekend was SUCH a fun development! Emily started crawling with 1 leg! It's just the funniest sight! She crawls with only her right leg, and lets her left leg just drag behind her. She looks like an injured soldier trying to army-crawl away from danger. It's so funny! We discovered this new development because we started building little towers with her blocks, and found that she wanted to knock it down. On the first day, it took her a full minute to move centimeter by centimeter to get closer to the tower. But by the end of the day, she was able to crawl her way there in seconds! It's been so much fun to build towers all around her and watch as she goes from 1 end of the mat to the other end to knock everything down. We were amazed at how fast she developed in just 1 day! It's so crazy how babies can develop like this if they have their own personal determination to motivate them.
Connected to this - Emily has learned how to go from the sitting position to lying on her belly so she can crawl. Before, she would try to do this, but would eventually faceplant into the floor. But now, she's learned how to carefully lower herself down. I was curious to know how she'd figure this out myself bc it DOES seem like a pretty high distance to transition from. What she does is she puts her hands on the floor in front of her, leans forward carefully (as if she were going to faceplant), and then slowly slides her legs out from under her until she's belly down. It's pretty impressive to see how she's learned how to be careful like that! It makes me wonder if she is a careful baby or if that's just what all babies do.
Emily has also started to sort of "play games" with us. If I hold Emily in my arms, and someone goes up to her and says "Ee-ree-oh-sae-yo" - which translates to Please Come to Me, she laughs and turns away from the person, and burrows her face into my shoulder. She does this to Sy, to her grandparents, to friends of ours, everyone! She thinks it's so funny to turn away from them and giggle and kick her feet! The best part though is that I'm the only person she won't do that to. If Sy is holding her, and I say "Ee-ree-oh-sae-yo" she immediately throws her arms out and leans towards me! She loves me the best! She can't reject me even if she wanted to play a game! Haha. This definitely feeds my ego and I love it.
Another game that Emily has learned is whenever I put on her jacket, I sit her down on the sofa, and I sit across from her. I then put her arms through each arm hole and button her up. After we're done, she immediately tries to jump into my arms! She sort of thrusts herself forward with her arms extended and expects me to catch her and hold her. Most of the time I'm prepared to catch her. But in the mornings, I try to put on my own jacket after I put hers on, and that's when she lunges at me and I have to quickly catch her and she finds it so hilarious. She has this giant smile and laughs as she jumps into my arms. I always have to yell "Wait!! Let me put on my jacket too!" But she doesn't care. She's ready to jump. It's so fun!
And the newest development is that Emily has learned how to hold her own bottle when it's feeding time! I couldn't believe my eyes when she did it. She legit uses both her hands to hold the bottle and feeds herself. She takes it out when she wants a break. She puts it back in when she wants more. I just sit there holding her up and smiling down at my little genius. Haha. But seriously though, I'm pretty impressed with this new skill. Maybe feeding times will get even easier??? Related to feedings, Emily is getting better at grasping and picking up food. She's learned how to open her fists to let the food fall into her mouth. For some reason though, she uses her left hand more than her right. I wonder if she's a lefty or if I'm just not putting enough food on her right side.
Overall, Emily is developing so fast. Sometimes, Sy gets sad that she develops quickly bc he wants her to stay our little baby. It's crazy to think that in the blink of an eye, she's going to be a toddler soon. How is life so fast? We're so eager to slow time down, but I bet to Emily, she can't wait to grow up. Oh the irony!
Connected to this - Emily has learned how to go from the sitting position to lying on her belly so she can crawl. Before, she would try to do this, but would eventually faceplant into the floor. But now, she's learned how to carefully lower herself down. I was curious to know how she'd figure this out myself bc it DOES seem like a pretty high distance to transition from. What she does is she puts her hands on the floor in front of her, leans forward carefully (as if she were going to faceplant), and then slowly slides her legs out from under her until she's belly down. It's pretty impressive to see how she's learned how to be careful like that! It makes me wonder if she is a careful baby or if that's just what all babies do.
Emily has also started to sort of "play games" with us. If I hold Emily in my arms, and someone goes up to her and says "Ee-ree-oh-sae-yo" - which translates to Please Come to Me, she laughs and turns away from the person, and burrows her face into my shoulder. She does this to Sy, to her grandparents, to friends of ours, everyone! She thinks it's so funny to turn away from them and giggle and kick her feet! The best part though is that I'm the only person she won't do that to. If Sy is holding her, and I say "Ee-ree-oh-sae-yo" she immediately throws her arms out and leans towards me! She loves me the best! She can't reject me even if she wanted to play a game! Haha. This definitely feeds my ego and I love it.
Another game that Emily has learned is whenever I put on her jacket, I sit her down on the sofa, and I sit across from her. I then put her arms through each arm hole and button her up. After we're done, she immediately tries to jump into my arms! She sort of thrusts herself forward with her arms extended and expects me to catch her and hold her. Most of the time I'm prepared to catch her. But in the mornings, I try to put on my own jacket after I put hers on, and that's when she lunges at me and I have to quickly catch her and she finds it so hilarious. She has this giant smile and laughs as she jumps into my arms. I always have to yell "Wait!! Let me put on my jacket too!" But she doesn't care. She's ready to jump. It's so fun!
And the newest development is that Emily has learned how to hold her own bottle when it's feeding time! I couldn't believe my eyes when she did it. She legit uses both her hands to hold the bottle and feeds herself. She takes it out when she wants a break. She puts it back in when she wants more. I just sit there holding her up and smiling down at my little genius. Haha. But seriously though, I'm pretty impressed with this new skill. Maybe feeding times will get even easier??? Related to feedings, Emily is getting better at grasping and picking up food. She's learned how to open her fists to let the food fall into her mouth. For some reason though, she uses her left hand more than her right. I wonder if she's a lefty or if I'm just not putting enough food on her right side.
Overall, Emily is developing so fast. Sometimes, Sy gets sad that she develops quickly bc he wants her to stay our little baby. It's crazy to think that in the blink of an eye, she's going to be a toddler soon. How is life so fast? We're so eager to slow time down, but I bet to Emily, she can't wait to grow up. Oh the irony!
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Working mom woes but incredible joy - Week 33-34 Observations
I'm super delayed with this post! Work has been nuts for the past 2 weeks and I just did not have a free minute to write about Emily's developments. I've been working late, working through all my lunches, and just plain old exhausted. Being a working mom during busy season is so hard. I feel like there just is no time to relax and you need that down time! Either way, here is how Emily has been for the past 2 weeks.
2 weeks ago/Week 33
Emily has gotten way more mobile! She's gotten really good at turning herself on her belly. She'll lie there and just do 360s over and over. And she's even figured out how to drag herself somewhat! One time, she dragged herself completely under our dining table and just hung out down there! It's amazing to see how much she's becoming a little person with real objectives and goals she wants to achieve.
We started feeding Emily these wafer snacks that dissolve in her mouth. I wanted her to keep practicing her food-grabbing skills and she's doing pretty well! She really seems to love eating these snacks, and her ability to pick it up is pretty spot-on. It's so fun to watch her eat. She'll stop playing with her toys bc she just loves to eat. Sy's mom calls her a "muksoonee" which translates to something like "a food lover." She really does love to eat. I love that. I often wonder if she has my love of food. If so, I hope she also has my metabolism to not get too fat!
I think Emily is developing her muscles as well. Lately, when she's sitting in her car seat, when I start to unbuckle her to take her out, she seems to know that it's time to get out, and she pushes herself up with her hands and elbows to get herself more out of the seat. It definitely makes my life easier to pull her out of that tight car seat! But man, it's amazing to see how she knows how to maneuver her body now.
Diaper change - EUGH - is the new word for that. Emily now LOVES rolling over during diaper change. It has made diaper change time exponentially harder. There have been several instances where she rolls over so fast before I can stop her and she gets poo everywhere. She gets mad at us when we try to pin her down. I get mad at her bc we're running late in the mornings to get her ready to get out of the house on time. Diaper change has become the bane of my existence! Every time I smell poo I am filled with dread of knowing the debacle that is coming up. I also read online that this phase is here to stay. She is likely to keep on doing this as she gets older and older. Oh boy... this is so not fun.
1 week ago/34 weeks
Emily went to Carol's dohl over the weekend, and we got to finally see Emily's stranger anxiety really come to life. Granted - she did miss a nap and was working off of very little sleep, but she was still very anxious. A lot of Sy's relatives were seeing Emily for the first time, so they were dying to hold her. And because she had literally no time to get used to everyone, she just kept crying whenever we transferred her to someone else. Once she was back in the arms of anyone she knew well (me, Sy, his parents, his sister), she was fine. But it was with strangers she cried. The good news is she did stop crying if they tried to distract her - take her to look at shiny things - lift her up and down, etc. But inevitably, she would realize that she is with a stranger and would cry again. It made me happy to know that she knows and loves Sy's immediate family well, but it definitely made me sad that she's not too keen on strangers. At one point, Sy and I realized that Emily has learned how to fake cry. She sounds like she's crying, but there are no tears, and there is no actual fear. It's really just her "crying out" to say Take me back! I don't want to be with this person! It was pretty funny to see. What a little rascal!
I've been having Emily practice grabbing/picking up food more. Each night, I will place a bunch of soft foods on her tray to pick them. I'm happy to report that Emily loves trying to pick up stuff - she's just not so good at actually getting it in her mouth. She's able to wrap her fingers around the food, but she couldn't figure out how to open her fist to get the food into her mouth. Her most successful attempts happened when she had food hanging from the bottom of her fist, which she could open her mouth onto. It's been pretty fun to watch her to do this - albeit very messy. She seems to always touch her chair and her hair with her dirty, food-covered fingers. Our nightly clean-up routines have gotten so much longer.
Emily recently has been "talking" more and has been using this adorable voice. It's a new voice that we've never heard before - it's like a soft, gentle voice that she uses when she seems content. It's almost like an advanced coo. It's so sweet to listen to, and it makes me wonder if she's gonna have the most adorable speaking voice.
For the past 2 weeks, it feels like Sy and I have just fallen more and more in love with Emily. Everyday, I just absolutely love looking at her, playing with her, talking with her. Each month, we say this is our favorite age. She just keeps getting more and more fun and cute. I love her so much!
2 weeks ago/Week 33
Emily has gotten way more mobile! She's gotten really good at turning herself on her belly. She'll lie there and just do 360s over and over. And she's even figured out how to drag herself somewhat! One time, she dragged herself completely under our dining table and just hung out down there! It's amazing to see how much she's becoming a little person with real objectives and goals she wants to achieve.
We started feeding Emily these wafer snacks that dissolve in her mouth. I wanted her to keep practicing her food-grabbing skills and she's doing pretty well! She really seems to love eating these snacks, and her ability to pick it up is pretty spot-on. It's so fun to watch her eat. She'll stop playing with her toys bc she just loves to eat. Sy's mom calls her a "muksoonee" which translates to something like "a food lover." She really does love to eat. I love that. I often wonder if she has my love of food. If so, I hope she also has my metabolism to not get too fat!
I think Emily is developing her muscles as well. Lately, when she's sitting in her car seat, when I start to unbuckle her to take her out, she seems to know that it's time to get out, and she pushes herself up with her hands and elbows to get herself more out of the seat. It definitely makes my life easier to pull her out of that tight car seat! But man, it's amazing to see how she knows how to maneuver her body now.
Diaper change - EUGH - is the new word for that. Emily now LOVES rolling over during diaper change. It has made diaper change time exponentially harder. There have been several instances where she rolls over so fast before I can stop her and she gets poo everywhere. She gets mad at us when we try to pin her down. I get mad at her bc we're running late in the mornings to get her ready to get out of the house on time. Diaper change has become the bane of my existence! Every time I smell poo I am filled with dread of knowing the debacle that is coming up. I also read online that this phase is here to stay. She is likely to keep on doing this as she gets older and older. Oh boy... this is so not fun.
1 week ago/34 weeks
Emily went to Carol's dohl over the weekend, and we got to finally see Emily's stranger anxiety really come to life. Granted - she did miss a nap and was working off of very little sleep, but she was still very anxious. A lot of Sy's relatives were seeing Emily for the first time, so they were dying to hold her. And because she had literally no time to get used to everyone, she just kept crying whenever we transferred her to someone else. Once she was back in the arms of anyone she knew well (me, Sy, his parents, his sister), she was fine. But it was with strangers she cried. The good news is she did stop crying if they tried to distract her - take her to look at shiny things - lift her up and down, etc. But inevitably, she would realize that she is with a stranger and would cry again. It made me happy to know that she knows and loves Sy's immediate family well, but it definitely made me sad that she's not too keen on strangers. At one point, Sy and I realized that Emily has learned how to fake cry. She sounds like she's crying, but there are no tears, and there is no actual fear. It's really just her "crying out" to say Take me back! I don't want to be with this person! It was pretty funny to see. What a little rascal!
I've been having Emily practice grabbing/picking up food more. Each night, I will place a bunch of soft foods on her tray to pick them. I'm happy to report that Emily loves trying to pick up stuff - she's just not so good at actually getting it in her mouth. She's able to wrap her fingers around the food, but she couldn't figure out how to open her fist to get the food into her mouth. Her most successful attempts happened when she had food hanging from the bottom of her fist, which she could open her mouth onto. It's been pretty fun to watch her to do this - albeit very messy. She seems to always touch her chair and her hair with her dirty, food-covered fingers. Our nightly clean-up routines have gotten so much longer.
Emily recently has been "talking" more and has been using this adorable voice. It's a new voice that we've never heard before - it's like a soft, gentle voice that she uses when she seems content. It's almost like an advanced coo. It's so sweet to listen to, and it makes me wonder if she's gonna have the most adorable speaking voice.
For the past 2 weeks, it feels like Sy and I have just fallen more and more in love with Emily. Everyday, I just absolutely love looking at her, playing with her, talking with her. Each month, we say this is our favorite age. She just keeps getting more and more fun and cute. I love her so much!
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
A Tofu Disaster - Week 32 Observations
Last week was another fun week of developments with Emily! Emily apparently has learned how to do high 5 now! She's kind of slow to do it - you have to say High 5 like 3 times and keep putting your hand up for her to finally lift her hand up. Hahaha. And it's not like she actually touches your hand to create the high 5 action - she just lifts her hand. I'm proud of at least the understanding that you're supposed to raise your hand when you do high 5. Haha.
Emily is slowly starting to want to crawl, I think. We have this fun routine where we put Emily on our bed and she likes to roll around. I think she likes that our bed is so big and has lots of room to roll, but we also have this nice, slippery blanket that I think she enjoys the feel of. But anyway, we would put her on her back and she would roll around. But now, as soon as we sit her on the bed, she immediately dives forward and faceplants into the blanket so she can be on her belly to start rolling around. It's so hilarious to see how much fun she has to just immediately faceplant. She finds so much joy in this act and always dives down with a big smile on her face. The problem now is that when we put her on her bed, she immediately does this, and then starts rolling around - which means we can't leave her unattended. We used to put Emily on the bed to sit and watch us as we come home from work to change into home clothes and wash up. But now, she can't be trusted! And the worst part of this problem is that she does this on any surface that's somewhat soft. We used to sit her on the couch so I could make bottles for her. But now, she'll faceplant on the couch, which is bad bc she'll fall off the couch! Oh how things have changed so quickly! She even sometimes faceplants on the play mat - and that is not as soft as a bed or couch! But the girl loves to faceplant! I think she really wants to start crawling. Once she's on the ground, she just rolls around and around going from one end of the mat to the other.
On a sad note, we had our first medical scare this week. On Thurs, when Sy and I got to my MIL's house to pick up Emily, as soon as I held her, she projectile vomited all over me. I was concerned bc this was very unlike her. She's never been one to spit up much, so projectile vomit seemed like something was wrong. At first we thought it was a one time thing, but soon, she started to keep on vomiting. She vomited all down my back, then all down my shirt, and then kept on vomiting. She vomited for about 45 min when I finally called our pediatrician. He was concerned Emily would get dehydrated, and suggested we go to the pediatric urgent care center in our town. So we rushed to get Emily packed up, and drove as fast as we could to the urgent care. Emily threw up again in the car, and was throwing up even in the waiting room. Sy and I were so worried about her. We knew something was definitely wrong bc she was throwing up so much. Surprisingly, Emily was fine through it all. She never cried, she never whined. She seemed fine whenever she threw up - as if it was not bothering her at all. The only sad part was listening to her gag before she threw up. It made me sad to think of that awful gagging sensation before you throw up and how she was feeling it this whole time. Basically, Emily threw up for about 1.5 hours straight. Once we finally got seen by a doctor, they gave Emily some anti-nausea medicine and she immediately stopped throwing up. After a while, we tested her with some water to see if she would throw that up, but she didn't. And finally around 915pm, we got to go home. Emily was so exhausted and sleepy, but we had to bathe her bc she had been covered in vomit. So we quickly bathed her and put her to sleep by 930pm. Poor girl was so tired. Even though the doctor says we can't know for sure what caused this, my motherly instinct says it was that we gave her spoiled tofu. I didn't know that tofu needed to have the water changed everyday, and I didn't know it spoiled so easily. Knowing that I basically poisoned my own child kills me with guilt - but I had no idea! Sigh. It's terrible to know that I caused this much suffering and pain in my own child. For the first time, I legit felt like a bad parent. Luckily, Emily got better quickly and the next day, she was relatively in good spirits. She had lost some weight and looked thinner. She didn't eat all her meals as well, but at least she was eating. But boy was she tired. She ended up sleeping like 5 hours' worth of naps that day! Poor girl - she was probably exhausted from the lack of sleep plus the physical exhaustion of having thrown up so much. It was quite the scare for us. I'm never going to make this mistake again.
On a less scary note, Emily has learned how to scream/shriek. She must have discovered that she has a vocal range and she is now shrieking at the top of her lungs. It's pretty annoying and there's nothing we can do about it. It seems to mostly happen in the car. But man, times like this, you really understand why some people don't like kids. This is pretty bad to listen to!
On Sat, we went to a pumpkin farm and Emily had a blast. She loved looking at everyone and all the sights. It was really nice to go out as a family and do something fun. Emily is finally getting old enough now where she can stay up a little longer so that we can enjoy things more. She'll still need to nap, but at least it's not like within 1 hour of waking up. We can stretch it to do more activities. I feel happy that we're making progress and soon, we will sort of have our old life back!
Anyway, man, I hope Emily never gets that sick again. I love her so much - I want her to be as healthy as possible! A healthy baby is a happy baby! On a side note, I have never felt more like a mom than when I was covered in vomit. Even when she vomited straight down my shirt and into my bra, I still loved her so much and didn't mind it at all. That's a true mother's heart.
Emily is slowly starting to want to crawl, I think. We have this fun routine where we put Emily on our bed and she likes to roll around. I think she likes that our bed is so big and has lots of room to roll, but we also have this nice, slippery blanket that I think she enjoys the feel of. But anyway, we would put her on her back and she would roll around. But now, as soon as we sit her on the bed, she immediately dives forward and faceplants into the blanket so she can be on her belly to start rolling around. It's so hilarious to see how much fun she has to just immediately faceplant. She finds so much joy in this act and always dives down with a big smile on her face. The problem now is that when we put her on her bed, she immediately does this, and then starts rolling around - which means we can't leave her unattended. We used to put Emily on the bed to sit and watch us as we come home from work to change into home clothes and wash up. But now, she can't be trusted! And the worst part of this problem is that she does this on any surface that's somewhat soft. We used to sit her on the couch so I could make bottles for her. But now, she'll faceplant on the couch, which is bad bc she'll fall off the couch! Oh how things have changed so quickly! She even sometimes faceplants on the play mat - and that is not as soft as a bed or couch! But the girl loves to faceplant! I think she really wants to start crawling. Once she's on the ground, she just rolls around and around going from one end of the mat to the other.
On a sad note, we had our first medical scare this week. On Thurs, when Sy and I got to my MIL's house to pick up Emily, as soon as I held her, she projectile vomited all over me. I was concerned bc this was very unlike her. She's never been one to spit up much, so projectile vomit seemed like something was wrong. At first we thought it was a one time thing, but soon, she started to keep on vomiting. She vomited all down my back, then all down my shirt, and then kept on vomiting. She vomited for about 45 min when I finally called our pediatrician. He was concerned Emily would get dehydrated, and suggested we go to the pediatric urgent care center in our town. So we rushed to get Emily packed up, and drove as fast as we could to the urgent care. Emily threw up again in the car, and was throwing up even in the waiting room. Sy and I were so worried about her. We knew something was definitely wrong bc she was throwing up so much. Surprisingly, Emily was fine through it all. She never cried, she never whined. She seemed fine whenever she threw up - as if it was not bothering her at all. The only sad part was listening to her gag before she threw up. It made me sad to think of that awful gagging sensation before you throw up and how she was feeling it this whole time. Basically, Emily threw up for about 1.5 hours straight. Once we finally got seen by a doctor, they gave Emily some anti-nausea medicine and she immediately stopped throwing up. After a while, we tested her with some water to see if she would throw that up, but she didn't. And finally around 915pm, we got to go home. Emily was so exhausted and sleepy, but we had to bathe her bc she had been covered in vomit. So we quickly bathed her and put her to sleep by 930pm. Poor girl was so tired. Even though the doctor says we can't know for sure what caused this, my motherly instinct says it was that we gave her spoiled tofu. I didn't know that tofu needed to have the water changed everyday, and I didn't know it spoiled so easily. Knowing that I basically poisoned my own child kills me with guilt - but I had no idea! Sigh. It's terrible to know that I caused this much suffering and pain in my own child. For the first time, I legit felt like a bad parent. Luckily, Emily got better quickly and the next day, she was relatively in good spirits. She had lost some weight and looked thinner. She didn't eat all her meals as well, but at least she was eating. But boy was she tired. She ended up sleeping like 5 hours' worth of naps that day! Poor girl - she was probably exhausted from the lack of sleep plus the physical exhaustion of having thrown up so much. It was quite the scare for us. I'm never going to make this mistake again.
On a less scary note, Emily has learned how to scream/shriek. She must have discovered that she has a vocal range and she is now shrieking at the top of her lungs. It's pretty annoying and there's nothing we can do about it. It seems to mostly happen in the car. But man, times like this, you really understand why some people don't like kids. This is pretty bad to listen to!
On Sat, we went to a pumpkin farm and Emily had a blast. She loved looking at everyone and all the sights. It was really nice to go out as a family and do something fun. Emily is finally getting old enough now where she can stay up a little longer so that we can enjoy things more. She'll still need to nap, but at least it's not like within 1 hour of waking up. We can stretch it to do more activities. I feel happy that we're making progress and soon, we will sort of have our old life back!
Anyway, man, I hope Emily never gets that sick again. I love her so much - I want her to be as healthy as possible! A healthy baby is a happy baby! On a side note, I have never felt more like a mom than when I was covered in vomit. Even when she vomited straight down my shirt and into my bra, I still loved her so much and didn't mind it at all. That's a true mother's heart.
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
A Little Pick-Me-Up - Week 31 Observations
This week has been another fun week of new developments! It's so amazing to see her learn new things - and it reminds me of how glad I am to be writing this stuff down so I can remember it forever.
Emily's cutest development this week: She now lifts her arms up when she wants us to pick her up! I am absolutely loving this! To me, this feels like real communication now! Yes, when she cries, I know she wants something - but you still have to figure it out. Now, this arm lifting is so clear! When she's had enough of sitting and playing her toys, she'll just lift up her arms and I can just imagine her little voice saying Please hold me! It's just the cutest thing ever! Every time she does it, I want so badly to lift her up every time, but sometimes I feel that maybe I shouldn't spoil her. It's a hard balance - but for now, I want her to learn that she can rely on me to take care of her when she asks me for something. So I'll do it gladly!
2nd cutest development: Emily scoots her butt to get moving! I thought it was pretty cool back when Emily could sit on her own and just play. But now, if she wants to go somewhere, she'll lean her hands on the floor and push her butt backwards until she gets where she wants to. It's pretty amazing to see how resourceful she is! It's also pretty shocking how far she can get with this butt scoot! Haha! She can definitely get like 3 feet of distance! Seeing this makes me smile so much, but also fills me with some dread thinking about how she's going to be crawling soon. Yes, I think crawling babies are super adorable - but the practical side of me thinks of the insane amount of cleaning I will have to do to make sure the floors are clean enough for her to be dragging her whole body around on it. Maybe I'll attach a swiffer sheet to her belly so she can just clean as she goes. Haha! I still do think that Emily is going to be slow to crawling bc she just hates being on her belly. But this butt scoot does make me wonder if she wants mobility more than she hates her belly. I guess we'll see in the next few weeks what happens!
Emily has sprouted teeth! Her first tooth came out last Friday. It's hard to see, but you can feel a little "point" when you run your finger over her gums. I can't believe my little baby is turning into a toddler. How is time going by so fast? I think that explains the fever from the weekend. I'm glad her teething experience wasn't as bad as it could've been. But crazy that new teeth can do this to you.
For a while, I was worried that Emily wasn't "talking" that much. She whined a lot - grunted a lot - but didn't really talk much. When she was a little past her newborn time, she "talked" a lot to me; but then it died down as she began to just whine. But I think this week, I noticed her starting to "talk" again! Maybe she was just in a phase of developing other new things about herself. But I'm glad she's coming back around on this! I hope Emily is a chatty girl bc I want to hear all her thoughts! (Are these famous last words?)
I can't believe Emily is almost 8 months old. Time flies so fast. When I look at friends who are having babies now, I feel like we're so past that newborn phase of life. And then when I think about potentially having another baby, I feel so daunted to go through all of that craziness again. Emily is so fun and so much more manageable right now. I can't wait for her to get more and more fun and more independent! How on earth will we ever have a 2nd child?? I guess it's just up to God if He wants another child in the Sung family. Until then, I'm savoring every minute I have with this adorable girl!
Emily's cutest development this week: She now lifts her arms up when she wants us to pick her up! I am absolutely loving this! To me, this feels like real communication now! Yes, when she cries, I know she wants something - but you still have to figure it out. Now, this arm lifting is so clear! When she's had enough of sitting and playing her toys, she'll just lift up her arms and I can just imagine her little voice saying Please hold me! It's just the cutest thing ever! Every time she does it, I want so badly to lift her up every time, but sometimes I feel that maybe I shouldn't spoil her. It's a hard balance - but for now, I want her to learn that she can rely on me to take care of her when she asks me for something. So I'll do it gladly!
2nd cutest development: Emily scoots her butt to get moving! I thought it was pretty cool back when Emily could sit on her own and just play. But now, if she wants to go somewhere, she'll lean her hands on the floor and push her butt backwards until she gets where she wants to. It's pretty amazing to see how resourceful she is! It's also pretty shocking how far she can get with this butt scoot! Haha! She can definitely get like 3 feet of distance! Seeing this makes me smile so much, but also fills me with some dread thinking about how she's going to be crawling soon. Yes, I think crawling babies are super adorable - but the practical side of me thinks of the insane amount of cleaning I will have to do to make sure the floors are clean enough for her to be dragging her whole body around on it. Maybe I'll attach a swiffer sheet to her belly so she can just clean as she goes. Haha! I still do think that Emily is going to be slow to crawling bc she just hates being on her belly. But this butt scoot does make me wonder if she wants mobility more than she hates her belly. I guess we'll see in the next few weeks what happens!
Emily has sprouted teeth! Her first tooth came out last Friday. It's hard to see, but you can feel a little "point" when you run your finger over her gums. I can't believe my little baby is turning into a toddler. How is time going by so fast? I think that explains the fever from the weekend. I'm glad her teething experience wasn't as bad as it could've been. But crazy that new teeth can do this to you.
For a while, I was worried that Emily wasn't "talking" that much. She whined a lot - grunted a lot - but didn't really talk much. When she was a little past her newborn time, she "talked" a lot to me; but then it died down as she began to just whine. But I think this week, I noticed her starting to "talk" again! Maybe she was just in a phase of developing other new things about herself. But I'm glad she's coming back around on this! I hope Emily is a chatty girl bc I want to hear all her thoughts! (Are these famous last words?)
I can't believe Emily is almost 8 months old. Time flies so fast. When I look at friends who are having babies now, I feel like we're so past that newborn phase of life. And then when I think about potentially having another baby, I feel so daunted to go through all of that craziness again. Emily is so fun and so much more manageable right now. I can't wait for her to get more and more fun and more independent! How on earth will we ever have a 2nd child?? I guess it's just up to God if He wants another child in the Sung family. Until then, I'm savoring every minute I have with this adorable girl!
Friday, September 28, 2018
In sickness and in health - Week 30 Observations
Last week was week 2 of me solo parenting. By the time Sy came home on Thurs, I was pretty exhausted from doing everything on my own. I could not have been happier for Sy's return. Haha.
While Sy was away, we had worried a little that Emily might not remember Sy when he came back. 2 weeks is a really long time in her short life! We were diligent about making sure to video-chat every day so she could see him and hear his voice. But she never really seemed all that interested in seeing him on the phone. Sometimes she would smile at him, but it was pretty rare. So we had wondered what her reaction would be when she saw him when he came back. I wasn't there when he went to pick her up, but Sy told me that she smiled really big when she saw him. He said that she saw him from a distance and immediately recognized him and seemed genuinely happy to see him! It made him so happy that she was happy to see him. And Sy's parents also laughed at how happy she was to see her dad. It's good to know that she knows and loves him.
On Saturday, we went to brunch to celebrate the birthdays of Sy's sister and cousin. We tried putting Emily in her first high chair at a restaurant and we were happy to see that she can do it! She's big enough to fit, and she's capable of sitting on her own without falling down. This was pretty exciting to me bc it gave me hope that maybe we can start going out to restaurants soon! I've really missed going to a restaurant to eat. While take-out is almost as good as eating at a restaurant, it's never as good when it comes out fresh. The only thing was Emily couldn't keep herself entertained by herself. I had brought toys for her to play with, but she kept dropping them on the floor, and then we couldn't use the toys anymore bc they were dirty. It was so close! We ended up holding her while we ate, but then she got antsy, so I had to eat while standing up. At least we're finally getting there.
On Sunday, Emily got her first fever. At first, I was sure that Emily had caught a cold from her cousins. Carol had been sick with a fever and a mouth sore for days. And when we got to brunch, Adam was feeling sick as well and was super cold and fatigued. So I thought Emily must have definitely caught their cold. I was pretty worried that Emily had hand-foot-mouth virus. (My god -- that virus is literally my worst nightmare.) Emily's temperature went up to 100 degrees, and her little body felt so warm. But surprisingly, she wasn't as crabby as I had thought she'd be. She ate a little less than usual and kept leaving milk behind. But she ate her solids voraciously. She played relatively well despite feeling unwell. I was pretty sad to see Emily with a fever. She had trouble sleeping bc of her fever. She couldn't sleep unless I held her. It was very reminiscent of weeks 6-8. During her nap, she cried hysterically when I tried to put her back in her crib, and in the end, I had to let her sleep in my arms while I sat in a char. That night, Emily woke up after 45 min, and cried so hard for me to come and get her. She wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her and standing. So I ended up holding her until she fell asleep deeply in my arms, and then gently put her back in her crib. It took nearly 40 min to get her down. I was so sad for her. The next day, I began to wonder if emily was teething - and not actually sick. She had been drooling quite a bit - and it was a pretty low grade fever. The next day when I was at work, Emily only slept 1 nap the entire day. I had wondered if she needed me to hold her to sleep. Poor girl. I was so sad for her. But I'm still so proud of her. Despite a fever, and whatever discomfort she must have felt, she was a champ and played and ate relatively well. She's such a good girl. I love her so much.
It's definitely made me realized how important good health is. I hope we can make it through this winter with as few colds as possible - for Emily and for all of us. Carol's cold got everyone sick - 2 parents, 1 brother, 2 grandparents, 1 cousin. It's nuts how powerful colds are.
But the old adage is true - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Here's to being one cold stronger! (or maybe a first tooth stronger!)
While Sy was away, we had worried a little that Emily might not remember Sy when he came back. 2 weeks is a really long time in her short life! We were diligent about making sure to video-chat every day so she could see him and hear his voice. But she never really seemed all that interested in seeing him on the phone. Sometimes she would smile at him, but it was pretty rare. So we had wondered what her reaction would be when she saw him when he came back. I wasn't there when he went to pick her up, but Sy told me that she smiled really big when she saw him. He said that she saw him from a distance and immediately recognized him and seemed genuinely happy to see him! It made him so happy that she was happy to see him. And Sy's parents also laughed at how happy she was to see her dad. It's good to know that she knows and loves him.
On Saturday, we went to brunch to celebrate the birthdays of Sy's sister and cousin. We tried putting Emily in her first high chair at a restaurant and we were happy to see that she can do it! She's big enough to fit, and she's capable of sitting on her own without falling down. This was pretty exciting to me bc it gave me hope that maybe we can start going out to restaurants soon! I've really missed going to a restaurant to eat. While take-out is almost as good as eating at a restaurant, it's never as good when it comes out fresh. The only thing was Emily couldn't keep herself entertained by herself. I had brought toys for her to play with, but she kept dropping them on the floor, and then we couldn't use the toys anymore bc they were dirty. It was so close! We ended up holding her while we ate, but then she got antsy, so I had to eat while standing up. At least we're finally getting there.
On Sunday, Emily got her first fever. At first, I was sure that Emily had caught a cold from her cousins. Carol had been sick with a fever and a mouth sore for days. And when we got to brunch, Adam was feeling sick as well and was super cold and fatigued. So I thought Emily must have definitely caught their cold. I was pretty worried that Emily had hand-foot-mouth virus. (My god -- that virus is literally my worst nightmare.) Emily's temperature went up to 100 degrees, and her little body felt so warm. But surprisingly, she wasn't as crabby as I had thought she'd be. She ate a little less than usual and kept leaving milk behind. But she ate her solids voraciously. She played relatively well despite feeling unwell. I was pretty sad to see Emily with a fever. She had trouble sleeping bc of her fever. She couldn't sleep unless I held her. It was very reminiscent of weeks 6-8. During her nap, she cried hysterically when I tried to put her back in her crib, and in the end, I had to let her sleep in my arms while I sat in a char. That night, Emily woke up after 45 min, and cried so hard for me to come and get her. She wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her and standing. So I ended up holding her until she fell asleep deeply in my arms, and then gently put her back in her crib. It took nearly 40 min to get her down. I was so sad for her. The next day, I began to wonder if emily was teething - and not actually sick. She had been drooling quite a bit - and it was a pretty low grade fever. The next day when I was at work, Emily only slept 1 nap the entire day. I had wondered if she needed me to hold her to sleep. Poor girl. I was so sad for her. But I'm still so proud of her. Despite a fever, and whatever discomfort she must have felt, she was a champ and played and ate relatively well. She's such a good girl. I love her so much.
It's definitely made me realized how important good health is. I hope we can make it through this winter with as few colds as possible - for Emily and for all of us. Carol's cold got everyone sick - 2 parents, 1 brother, 2 grandparents, 1 cousin. It's nuts how powerful colds are.
But the old adage is true - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Here's to being one cold stronger! (or maybe a first tooth stronger!)
Monday, September 17, 2018
Whine and dine - Week 30 Observations
Last week was a pretty tough week for me. Sy left for his usual international work trip on Sunday, and it's been just me and Emily for a week now. (Sy's trip is 12 days long) I have to say - I have a newfound respect for single parents. I don't know how they do it without help! This has been a really exhausting week. It's so hard to do everything by myself. After a long day of work, I would have to take care of Emily with no one to multitask with. I come home, I put Emily on the bed so she can sit while I change my clothes and I dash to pee and wash my hands as quickly as possible in case she falls off the bed. And then it's just me doing everything - change diaper, make bottle, feed solids, fill her humidifier, put her to sleep - often with 1 hand as I hold her in my arm or with her crying in the background bc she doesn't want to be left alone. And then when she is finally asleep, I have to make dinner, eat dinner, wash all her bottles, pack her bag for the next day, and sometimes make her pureed food - peeling, chopping, steaming, pureeing, packing all her food. The weekends are especially tough bc I'm with her all day with no one to take turns entertaining her. On top of that - weekends are when we clean the house, go grocery shopping, meal prep for the week, and do laundry. I've had to do all these things alone, often at night when I should be resting bc Emily wouldn't let me do it during the day. It's been a super, super tiring week so far, and I've never anticipated sy's return as much as I do now. I have no idea how single parents do this. I have so little time to relax at night bc there's so much to do. How do single parents keep their sanity? You legit need 2 parents to keep 1 little human alive. Otherwise, the adult will get worn out and have the light go out in their eyes. (hence - dead mia)
In terms of development, Emily has begun reaching for things! Sy's mom informed me that Emily knows how to turn off a light switch. When I tested it out, it was true! When I bring Emily close to the light switch, she reaches her arm to the light switch and tries to push down to turn it on/off. It's pretty amazing to see! And I noticed that when we're sitting on the floor playing, she'll see something she wants to play with - whether it's her rattle or something else, and she'll reach for it. She can leave the item she is currently playing with to choose something else. She once saw her whale chew toy sort of underneath another toy, and I watched her grab it from under the other toy. I was so surprised! It's interesting to see that she is now developing opinions and preferences. She wants certain things and she wants it now. Haha. It's pretty cool!
For the past week, I've been in charge of dropping off and picking up Emily in Long Island. So I've been doing all the driving. I was nervous bc Emily is usually so bad in the car - cries and cries. I was afraid that my anxiety over hearing her cries would affect my driving. But it turns out, Emily has been pretty great this week in the car. I don't know if it's bc she is older now and car rides aren't so wretched or maybe she knows we're alone and she's going to have to just deal with it. But either way, I have been super grateful to her being better in the car.
On Sat, my parents and aunt came over to visit Emily. My mom wanted to hold Emily and when I transferred her, Emily started crying - crying with tears and all! She almost never cries with tears. It made me very sad to know that stranger anxiety has officially set in. Emily was scared of my parents. I thought it would be fine if we just let Emily play with her toys. So I put her on her mat, put her in front of her toys, and my family sat around her. And again - she cried! She was still afraid that they were sitting so close to her. She wouldn't play with her toys - just cried. So I put her in my lap, and that's when she was okay with playing with her toys - in the safety of my lap. It was so fascinating to me to see Emily behave this way bc she never does this. But I guess she's mostly been surrounded by people she knows. It made me sad that my family is so foreign to her - but I understand her fear. She eventually felt comfortable to sit not in my lap to play, but she still wasn't okay if they held her. When we went for a walk as a family, my mom held her again while I set up her stroller, and again, Emily cried. By the time we came back from the walk, Emily seemed to have warmed up to my mom and didn't cry when she held her. But it still made me a little sad.
I don't know if it's bc I've been with Emily for 24 hours a day, but over the weekend, I realized that Emily whines a lot. She's a whiny baby. Have I been blind to her whininess bc she's so cute that I didn't notice? Or is this a recent development? I'm also wondering if Emily is developing separation anxiety. Every time I left her sight (whether it was to pee, vacuum her room, put away groceries), she would scream and cry. Was she scared to be alone? Was she afraid that I had abandoned her? It's been a mystery to me. I hope she doesn't have separation anxiety bc we have to separate from her every day!
Man, I cannot wait for Sy to come home. I really need a break. I really need someone to help do all of Emily's mundane tasks. I really need ... help.
In terms of development, Emily has begun reaching for things! Sy's mom informed me that Emily knows how to turn off a light switch. When I tested it out, it was true! When I bring Emily close to the light switch, she reaches her arm to the light switch and tries to push down to turn it on/off. It's pretty amazing to see! And I noticed that when we're sitting on the floor playing, she'll see something she wants to play with - whether it's her rattle or something else, and she'll reach for it. She can leave the item she is currently playing with to choose something else. She once saw her whale chew toy sort of underneath another toy, and I watched her grab it from under the other toy. I was so surprised! It's interesting to see that she is now developing opinions and preferences. She wants certain things and she wants it now. Haha. It's pretty cool!
For the past week, I've been in charge of dropping off and picking up Emily in Long Island. So I've been doing all the driving. I was nervous bc Emily is usually so bad in the car - cries and cries. I was afraid that my anxiety over hearing her cries would affect my driving. But it turns out, Emily has been pretty great this week in the car. I don't know if it's bc she is older now and car rides aren't so wretched or maybe she knows we're alone and she's going to have to just deal with it. But either way, I have been super grateful to her being better in the car.
On Sat, my parents and aunt came over to visit Emily. My mom wanted to hold Emily and when I transferred her, Emily started crying - crying with tears and all! She almost never cries with tears. It made me very sad to know that stranger anxiety has officially set in. Emily was scared of my parents. I thought it would be fine if we just let Emily play with her toys. So I put her on her mat, put her in front of her toys, and my family sat around her. And again - she cried! She was still afraid that they were sitting so close to her. She wouldn't play with her toys - just cried. So I put her in my lap, and that's when she was okay with playing with her toys - in the safety of my lap. It was so fascinating to me to see Emily behave this way bc she never does this. But I guess she's mostly been surrounded by people she knows. It made me sad that my family is so foreign to her - but I understand her fear. She eventually felt comfortable to sit not in my lap to play, but she still wasn't okay if they held her. When we went for a walk as a family, my mom held her again while I set up her stroller, and again, Emily cried. By the time we came back from the walk, Emily seemed to have warmed up to my mom and didn't cry when she held her. But it still made me a little sad.
I don't know if it's bc I've been with Emily for 24 hours a day, but over the weekend, I realized that Emily whines a lot. She's a whiny baby. Have I been blind to her whininess bc she's so cute that I didn't notice? Or is this a recent development? I'm also wondering if Emily is developing separation anxiety. Every time I left her sight (whether it was to pee, vacuum her room, put away groceries), she would scream and cry. Was she scared to be alone? Was she afraid that I had abandoned her? It's been a mystery to me. I hope she doesn't have separation anxiety bc we have to separate from her every day!
Man, I cannot wait for Sy to come home. I really need a break. I really need someone to help do all of Emily's mundane tasks. I really need ... help.
Friday, September 14, 2018
Turning into a big girl - Week 29 Observations
When I was maternity leave, I had worried a lot
that I was gonna miss out on her developments because I didn't see her
every day. But it turns out, you don't miss it after all! I'm still able
to see her progress even with the shorter time we spend together.
Thank God!
Last week was a
great week for Emily. She's gotten so much better at sitting up on her
own. She can sit by herself for long periods of time without falling
down. We still keep pillows near her because she will topple backwards
if she looks behind her too much, or if she leans too far down if she
reaches for something. But for the most part, she is so independent and
she loves it! I think she must feel some sort of freedom in being able
to sit by herself and play with her toys by herself. I gotta say, this
is quite a game changer, and life is much easier now. There's much
less of me playing with her and more of me just sitting next to her to
guard that she doesn't fall down. It's pretty awesome! Emily loves to
sit up and play her little piano, push the buttons on her animal music
machine, or just eat her teething toys.
As
for solids, Emily has really grown to love solids! She eats so well
now! It's super adorable to see her open her mouth wide to accept the
spoonful. And she swallows it so fast that she eats her solids really
quickly. So far, she's had sweet potato, avocado, oatmeal, quinoa,
banana, zucchini, green peas, carrot, apple, green beans, and butternut
squash. It was fun to watch her eat apple bc it was her first tart food
and she was unsure if she liked it at first. But she has quickly
warmed up to it and loves it now. Feeding Emily solids has become my
favorite part of the day. And thank goodness she is not like her mama
and a slow eater. She eats quickly and makes life much easier for us.
Last
week, we tried giving Emily a sippy cup for the first time. She
immediately wanted to try drinking water and so she immediately tried to
drink it. She struggled a bit bc it had a different kind of "nipple"
than she was used to and had a little trouble getting the water out.
The next day I tried again, and she got frustrated with it and just
rejected it. A few days later, I tried giving her water by putting some
in her bottle cap. She took to it better but leaked water all over
herself. Haha. I'll keep trying to give her water. It'll be really
cute to see her use a sippy cup.
Remember
when I talked about Emily's newfound love of rolling over, but
inability to roll back? Well, it's been a few weeks and she can finally
roll back now! Oh thank the good lord! She has figured out that if
she leans her head, she'll topple backwards and be back on her back.
Now she rolls and rolls if she's on the bed. Its pretty cute to see!
I'm so glad she finally got the hang of this bc I was genuinely getting
worried that maybe she was too delayed. But she's fine! It makes you
realize how crazy we can get about milestones. But really, at the end
of the day, they all do it eventually. I was worried for nothing.
I'm thankful that I have been able to witness these milestones. She just gets more and more fun everyday!
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
XOXO - Week 28 Observations
I've completed 2 weeks of work now. Week 2 wasn't so bad. I didn't cry all week, and I felt easier about leaving Emily each morning. I'm hoping that the consistency that Emily sees me first thing in the morning and at night is a big enough reason to remember that I'm her mom - despite not spending all day with her.
It's hard to write these developmental entries now bc I don't see her as much anymore. Sy's mom told us that Emily can now "kiss" us! If you say, "Emily bbo!", Emily will bring her forehead to your face as her way of kissing us. Haha! It's pretty cute bc even though it's not a real kiss, it's still amazing that she now has the ability to do something on command. Sy's mom also claims that Emily can "go to you" if you say "come to me" and outstretch your hands. I've yet to actually see this happen. When I hold Emily and Sy's mom tries to say come to me - apparently she doesn't go to her. Haha. But I don't really think Emily knows how to outstretch her arms yet in reaction to wanting to be held.
When we pick up Emily at night, Sy and I do our best moves to make her smile. We throw her in the air, we make our biggest smiles and gestures for her, and she always smiles and laughs. Sy's mom says that she doesn't ever laugh like that for her all day. She thinks that Emily is happiest when she's with her parents. I don't know if that's true, but it makes me secretly VERY happy. =D I want so much for Emily to love me and Sy the most. It's my worst fear that Emily will love her grandparents more simply bc they see them more.
Interestingly, we went to NJ to celebrate my dad's birthday this weekend. Emily missed a nap and was very cranky at my parents' apt. Emily would cry when my mom held her. Sy and I just assumed it was bc she was so tired. But my parents speculated that it's bc she has stranger anxiety with them bc they don't see her as much. Part of me wonders if Emily really is stranger danger with them, or was it just a perfect storm of crankiness? If it IS stranger anxiety, it makes me sad that my parents don't get to experience how cute and awesome Emily is. As much as I get annoyed by my parents, I still love them and want them to have only positive experiences- especially with Emily.
A cute story from last night - Emily has recently figured out how to turn on her mobile while in her crib by herself. Last night, after I put Emily to sleep for the night, I checked the monitor to see if she had fallen asleep. I found her lying in her bed, hands clasped on her belly, and staring straight forward. I was confused bc I thought she would've been fast asleep. And normally, if she's still awake, then I see her rubbing her eyes, or sucking her finger, or putting her arm over her eyes. But she was just lying there looking straight up. And then I realized she must have turned on her mobile and was happily watching "her movie." Hahaha! Sy and I had such a laugh over this and we opened her door to turn it off for her so she could go to sleep. What a cutie. She kills me with her cute, little actions.
Labor Day is now gone and it made me a little sad to think that the summer is over. In many ways, this was the most boring summer I've ever had. If we had no baby, Sy and I probably would've gone on weekend trips, strolled thru the city, eaten outside, gone to the beach, taken long drives, etc. We didn't do most of those things simply bc a baby makes it hard to achieve them. In some ways, I feel like I missed out on summer. But of course I loved spending time with Emily. I can't wait for Emily to get bigger so we can enjoy life a little more and be less chained to her nap schedule. I hope next summer will be more fun and full of activities and memories!
It's hard to write these developmental entries now bc I don't see her as much anymore. Sy's mom told us that Emily can now "kiss" us! If you say, "Emily bbo!", Emily will bring her forehead to your face as her way of kissing us. Haha! It's pretty cute bc even though it's not a real kiss, it's still amazing that she now has the ability to do something on command. Sy's mom also claims that Emily can "go to you" if you say "come to me" and outstretch your hands. I've yet to actually see this happen. When I hold Emily and Sy's mom tries to say come to me - apparently she doesn't go to her. Haha. But I don't really think Emily knows how to outstretch her arms yet in reaction to wanting to be held.
When we pick up Emily at night, Sy and I do our best moves to make her smile. We throw her in the air, we make our biggest smiles and gestures for her, and she always smiles and laughs. Sy's mom says that she doesn't ever laugh like that for her all day. She thinks that Emily is happiest when she's with her parents. I don't know if that's true, but it makes me secretly VERY happy. =D I want so much for Emily to love me and Sy the most. It's my worst fear that Emily will love her grandparents more simply bc they see them more.
Interestingly, we went to NJ to celebrate my dad's birthday this weekend. Emily missed a nap and was very cranky at my parents' apt. Emily would cry when my mom held her. Sy and I just assumed it was bc she was so tired. But my parents speculated that it's bc she has stranger anxiety with them bc they don't see her as much. Part of me wonders if Emily really is stranger danger with them, or was it just a perfect storm of crankiness? If it IS stranger anxiety, it makes me sad that my parents don't get to experience how cute and awesome Emily is. As much as I get annoyed by my parents, I still love them and want them to have only positive experiences- especially with Emily.
A cute story from last night - Emily has recently figured out how to turn on her mobile while in her crib by herself. Last night, after I put Emily to sleep for the night, I checked the monitor to see if she had fallen asleep. I found her lying in her bed, hands clasped on her belly, and staring straight forward. I was confused bc I thought she would've been fast asleep. And normally, if she's still awake, then I see her rubbing her eyes, or sucking her finger, or putting her arm over her eyes. But she was just lying there looking straight up. And then I realized she must have turned on her mobile and was happily watching "her movie." Hahaha! Sy and I had such a laugh over this and we opened her door to turn it off for her so she could go to sleep. What a cutie. She kills me with her cute, little actions.
Labor Day is now gone and it made me a little sad to think that the summer is over. In many ways, this was the most boring summer I've ever had. If we had no baby, Sy and I probably would've gone on weekend trips, strolled thru the city, eaten outside, gone to the beach, taken long drives, etc. We didn't do most of those things simply bc a baby makes it hard to achieve them. In some ways, I feel like I missed out on summer. But of course I loved spending time with Emily. I can't wait for Emily to get bigger so we can enjoy life a little more and be less chained to her nap schedule. I hope next summer will be more fun and full of activities and memories!
Tuesday, August 28, 2018
The end of Act 1 - Weeks 26+27
I forgot to write for the past week again, so this will be another two-for-one special. It's been a crazy time.
2 weeks ago, Emily had a HUGE week. For about a month, Emily had been rolling over maybe once or twice a week. But 2 weeks ago, Emily suddenly realized she was super good at rolling over and became a rolling over machine! It was super adorable to see her roll over with such ease. I'd put her down on the floor and when I turned around, she would be on her belly! I was so proud to see how much she had developed in the blink of an eye. But then, my pride over this rolling over feat soon turned into frustration because Emily started rolling over in her crib. Now, this is fine and dandy, except for the fact that she couldn't figure out how to roll back. She would start crying and wailing for someone to come and help flip her back. It was almost like sleep training again! Do we let her cry until she figures out how to get down? Or do we go in there and help her down bc it's more important to get sleep? This was a hard couple of days, and then just like that, she stopped. I think she realized that she hates being on her belly, and this is not what she wants to do all the time. So she stopped rolling over as much, and especially during her naps/bedtimes. So that was nice. Peace came back to the house.
On top of this - Emily began solids! We hit the 6 month mark, got the okay from our pediatrician, so we decided to move forward. I had prolongued this as long as I could because I really did not want to have to start preparing more food for her. But the time had come. I had racked my brain for weeks about what I wanted her first food to be. I had finally settled on korean sweet potato, bought it from Hmart, and had peeled it and ready to go. Then I realized that I had no idea if it was organic or not! That led to me sending Sy out asap to go buy organic veggies and realized that this was an expensive side trip.
We gave Emily her first sweet potato spoonful. I was proud that she was able to figure out how to open her mouth wide open to take in the spoon, but she did not like the sweet potato. She made a cute, little, unhappy face and scrunched up her eyes and basically did not eat it. The food just kept dribbling out of her mouth. We did sweet potato for 3 days, and then moved onto baby oatmeal, and then quinoa oatmeal. She seemed to like the oatmeal and quinoa a lot! Or maybe it was that she got used to eating and was enjoying it more. We've now also tried banana and sweet peas. It's so cute to see how with each new food we introduce, she always scrunches her nose, but then she gets used to it after a day or so. Preparing food for Emily is a small pain in the butt. But watching her and feeding her has been so fun. It's the highlight of my days.
Moving on to the sad portion of this entry - last week was my first week back at work. It took weeks for me and Sy to figure out a good solution for childcare, but we finally found a plan that worked. Sy's mom would watch Emily 4x a week; Sy would use his vacation days to watch Emily 1x a week. It was super busy leading up to my return to work as I had to go and buy duplicates of all our stuff so that Emily could have a 2nd home at his mom's house. I was a mess the entire week prior. I cried every day whenever Emily did something cute bc I knew I wasn't going to see her all day long anymore. I prayed super hard to win the lotto, but again, I did not win. When Monday arrived, I cried in the morning as I rushed to feed her before I left. I cried in the car as I said goodbye to her, and cried on my train ride into work. I was okay once I got to work since I was busy talking to people and catching up. Tues-Thurs was fine as well - no tears in the morning and day. But it was only on Friday morning that the tears returned. While I fed Emily her morning bottle, I remembered the opening song to Mike and Molly that I would sing to Emily every day as it played in the background during our afternoon feedings. Emily smiled so big when she heard me singing this familiar song, and I started to cry thinking about how I didn't sing her this song all week! Maybe she missed this song and was happy to hear it. And then I got sad that an entire week went by and I hadn't done all my usual things with her - singing songs, diaper change kisses, my special Emily song and dance, etc. Leaving Emily is so hard and sad, but a necessary evil so that I can provide her financially with all the things she needs and deserves.
From an Emily perspective - she did great for her first week without me. I had been nervous that maybe she would notice my absence and would cry for me or miss me. But she didn't. She was just fine hanging out with her grandma and grandpa and aunt and cousins. If anything, it was adorable to see her hanging out with her cousin Carol - who we hope will become her best friend for life. Emily had no problems sleeping, eating, and playing like usual. And again - if anything, she's begun sleeping more than usual - which definitely helps Sy's mom out during the day as she watches both Emily and Carol. I'm proud of Emily for being able to adjust to the new changes so seamlessly. It's also a good sign that she is now able to sleep better in foreign places. Hopefully, she will be fine as Sy and I hope to get out more often now.
I can't believe 6 months went by in the blink of an eye. I can still vividly remember the cold winter days of me and Emily at home. And then when spring came, it still felt like so far away. But here we are - 6 months done and back to work. I'm incredibly thankful that I had 6 months with Emily. It was the best time of bonding and watching her grow up. Once she finished her crazy, hard part - I really enjoyed the fun, cute times we had. I wish we could've had more time together, but I'll always be thankful for our time together. We spent the first half of her first year together. I know the 2nd half of her first year will go by fast again and I won't see it as much, but hopefully, she'll save all her milestones for when we're home to see it with our own eyes. It's the end of an era - but here's to a great 2nd act!
2 weeks ago, Emily had a HUGE week. For about a month, Emily had been rolling over maybe once or twice a week. But 2 weeks ago, Emily suddenly realized she was super good at rolling over and became a rolling over machine! It was super adorable to see her roll over with such ease. I'd put her down on the floor and when I turned around, she would be on her belly! I was so proud to see how much she had developed in the blink of an eye. But then, my pride over this rolling over feat soon turned into frustration because Emily started rolling over in her crib. Now, this is fine and dandy, except for the fact that she couldn't figure out how to roll back. She would start crying and wailing for someone to come and help flip her back. It was almost like sleep training again! Do we let her cry until she figures out how to get down? Or do we go in there and help her down bc it's more important to get sleep? This was a hard couple of days, and then just like that, she stopped. I think she realized that she hates being on her belly, and this is not what she wants to do all the time. So she stopped rolling over as much, and especially during her naps/bedtimes. So that was nice. Peace came back to the house.
On top of this - Emily began solids! We hit the 6 month mark, got the okay from our pediatrician, so we decided to move forward. I had prolongued this as long as I could because I really did not want to have to start preparing more food for her. But the time had come. I had racked my brain for weeks about what I wanted her first food to be. I had finally settled on korean sweet potato, bought it from Hmart, and had peeled it and ready to go. Then I realized that I had no idea if it was organic or not! That led to me sending Sy out asap to go buy organic veggies and realized that this was an expensive side trip.
We gave Emily her first sweet potato spoonful. I was proud that she was able to figure out how to open her mouth wide open to take in the spoon, but she did not like the sweet potato. She made a cute, little, unhappy face and scrunched up her eyes and basically did not eat it. The food just kept dribbling out of her mouth. We did sweet potato for 3 days, and then moved onto baby oatmeal, and then quinoa oatmeal. She seemed to like the oatmeal and quinoa a lot! Or maybe it was that she got used to eating and was enjoying it more. We've now also tried banana and sweet peas. It's so cute to see how with each new food we introduce, she always scrunches her nose, but then she gets used to it after a day or so. Preparing food for Emily is a small pain in the butt. But watching her and feeding her has been so fun. It's the highlight of my days.
Moving on to the sad portion of this entry - last week was my first week back at work. It took weeks for me and Sy to figure out a good solution for childcare, but we finally found a plan that worked. Sy's mom would watch Emily 4x a week; Sy would use his vacation days to watch Emily 1x a week. It was super busy leading up to my return to work as I had to go and buy duplicates of all our stuff so that Emily could have a 2nd home at his mom's house. I was a mess the entire week prior. I cried every day whenever Emily did something cute bc I knew I wasn't going to see her all day long anymore. I prayed super hard to win the lotto, but again, I did not win. When Monday arrived, I cried in the morning as I rushed to feed her before I left. I cried in the car as I said goodbye to her, and cried on my train ride into work. I was okay once I got to work since I was busy talking to people and catching up. Tues-Thurs was fine as well - no tears in the morning and day. But it was only on Friday morning that the tears returned. While I fed Emily her morning bottle, I remembered the opening song to Mike and Molly that I would sing to Emily every day as it played in the background during our afternoon feedings. Emily smiled so big when she heard me singing this familiar song, and I started to cry thinking about how I didn't sing her this song all week! Maybe she missed this song and was happy to hear it. And then I got sad that an entire week went by and I hadn't done all my usual things with her - singing songs, diaper change kisses, my special Emily song and dance, etc. Leaving Emily is so hard and sad, but a necessary evil so that I can provide her financially with all the things she needs and deserves.
From an Emily perspective - she did great for her first week without me. I had been nervous that maybe she would notice my absence and would cry for me or miss me. But she didn't. She was just fine hanging out with her grandma and grandpa and aunt and cousins. If anything, it was adorable to see her hanging out with her cousin Carol - who we hope will become her best friend for life. Emily had no problems sleeping, eating, and playing like usual. And again - if anything, she's begun sleeping more than usual - which definitely helps Sy's mom out during the day as she watches both Emily and Carol. I'm proud of Emily for being able to adjust to the new changes so seamlessly. It's also a good sign that she is now able to sleep better in foreign places. Hopefully, she will be fine as Sy and I hope to get out more often now.
I can't believe 6 months went by in the blink of an eye. I can still vividly remember the cold winter days of me and Emily at home. And then when spring came, it still felt like so far away. But here we are - 6 months done and back to work. I'm incredibly thankful that I had 6 months with Emily. It was the best time of bonding and watching her grow up. Once she finished her crazy, hard part - I really enjoyed the fun, cute times we had. I wish we could've had more time together, but I'll always be thankful for our time together. We spent the first half of her first year together. I know the 2nd half of her first year will go by fast again and I won't see it as much, but hopefully, she'll save all her milestones for when we're home to see it with our own eyes. It's the end of an era - but here's to a great 2nd act!
Tuesday, August 14, 2018
The halfway mark - 6 months old! - Week 24+25
I forgot to write for last week, so it's going to be a 2 for 1 entry.
Physically - Emily is developing so quickly before our eyes! She is now able to sit by herself for about 5 min straight! She sits sort of like a tripod with her arms holding her up, but I'm still super impressed with her! I bought her one of those play keyboards, and now she can sit by herself and play the piano keys. It's been amazing to see her be able to sit and just play with stuff. We stay close by so she doesn't topple over. And also, this seems to tire her out, so when she gets tired, she wants to lean back more. But it's amazing!
Additionally, Emily is starting to roll over! We knew she was going to be a little slow in this area since she hates being on her belly with all her soul. But I was determined to not let that slow down her development. So as she was rolling onto her side more and more, I would tip her over and let her roll onto her belly. She didn't like being on her belly for too long, but it was a start. And then last Sunday, Sy and I were chatting on the sofa and Emily was playing on her mat. When we finally looked over at her to see how she was doing, we saw that she had rolled over by herself! She was on her belly! And we were shocked bc she did it by herself and we missed it! Haha! After that, I watched her like a hawk. I think it took another day or so for her to do it on her own. But she's definitely getting better! She may not do it every day, but she does it here and there. I genuinely think that she's gonna try to walk before she ever crawls. She really hates being on her belly. So why on earth would she choose to crawl? I can't wait to see her try to walk. But I do hope she does try to learn to crawl bc that's just freaking adorable.
Last Wed, Emily and I had a big day bc we went into the city by ourselves! I had been wanting to go to my office to introduce Emily to my team. But man, the idea of trekking out there with her was so daunting bc of all the obstacles. But I knew I had to go in at least once, so I made up my mind, and did it. It was quite an ordeal, I have to admit. We left the house at 10:30am to catch the 11am train. I had to circle around looking for parking, and ended up getting one 2 avenues away. I had to walk super fast with the stroller to make it to our train. Turns out, the train was delayed indefinitely bc of a sick passenger. I ended up feeding Emily on the platform, which was very awkward bc she was sitting in her stroller, and I was holding her bottle while crouching to be close to her (all the while sweating bullets bc it was a 90 degree day). When we finally got on the train, I couldn't get a seat, so we stood while I continued to feed Emily throughout the train ride. Once we got to Penn Station, it was fairly simple. Took an elevator up the the ground level, took another elevator to get to the street level - very easy. Finding a cab was the hard part. But once I found a cab, it was easy again! Sy met me on the street to say hi to Emily, and then we went in to meet my team. Emily did great! I was afraid she might get stranger anxiety, but she was fine! She was even smiley and laughing with some people! It was only as we reached the 2 hour point of being awake did she start to get cranky. Finally, at 1pm, I left my office so that we could catch the 1:46pm train. Sy met me again and he decided to go with me to Penn Station. Man, with 2 people, it's SOOO much easier. Sy was able to bring Emily's stroller down the stairs to get to the subway while I held her in my arms. We rode the subway for 2 stops, took an elevator from the subway platform to the ground level, and then waited for my train. Sy then took the stroller down the stairs to the train, and we got on. (this whole event made me feel so bad for single parents. how do they do this with no help???) Once on the train, I fed Emily again. She was so tired bc she had completely missed an entire nap session. She got a little cranky but I was able to keep her entertained for the rest of the train ride. Once we got off the train, I rushed to the car, and Emily started crying hard bc she was so tired (and plus - she hates the car). Surprisingly, she fell asleep within minutes of the car ride (which she never does!), and slept the 8 min it took to get home. Once we got home, I quickly put her down for a nap and she slept nice and long. I was really proud of Emily and myself. It was a difficult trip to make, but we did it! Emily was such a trooper through it all, and was so great with my co workers!
This past Sat was my mom's 70th birthday party. We were having a banquet dinner at 5pm in NJ. I was pretty nervous for this event bc I was afraid that Emily would be too cranky by the time the guests arrived. We had to lose a nap bc Emily generally doesn't fall asleep in the car. So during her nap, we drove to NJ. Emily never ceases to amaze me though. Despite the lack of a nap, she was great! She didn't cry even when she was surrounded by so many faces and people touching her. She got passed around from person to person so everyone could hold her. She didn't cry - except maybe whimper a little when men tried to hold her. (I really think my men-fear theory is true!) It was only when it got to about 6:30pm that she had been awake for 4 hours that she finally broke and started to cry bc she was tired. She was tired, hot, and the room was kind of loud. So we decided to head out and get her home. The entire car ride home, Sy and I remarked about how proud we were of her for being such a champ and being such a good baby. I know this may be such a small feat - but to us, we couldn't be prouder. Everyone always tells us how sweet and good Emily is. And while I know that a lot of those comments could just be out of politeness, to me - I truly believe it. She's just the best!
I think overall, my fear that Emily will have bad stranger anxiety is subsiding. Yes, she can cry a little (especially with men), but it's nothing that's so severe that I should be worried. Hopefully, she will continue to develop and get over her fear and become a brave little girl.
I love watching her grow up. This is the best "tv show" I've ever watched! =D
Physically - Emily is developing so quickly before our eyes! She is now able to sit by herself for about 5 min straight! She sits sort of like a tripod with her arms holding her up, but I'm still super impressed with her! I bought her one of those play keyboards, and now she can sit by herself and play the piano keys. It's been amazing to see her be able to sit and just play with stuff. We stay close by so she doesn't topple over. And also, this seems to tire her out, so when she gets tired, she wants to lean back more. But it's amazing!
Additionally, Emily is starting to roll over! We knew she was going to be a little slow in this area since she hates being on her belly with all her soul. But I was determined to not let that slow down her development. So as she was rolling onto her side more and more, I would tip her over and let her roll onto her belly. She didn't like being on her belly for too long, but it was a start. And then last Sunday, Sy and I were chatting on the sofa and Emily was playing on her mat. When we finally looked over at her to see how she was doing, we saw that she had rolled over by herself! She was on her belly! And we were shocked bc she did it by herself and we missed it! Haha! After that, I watched her like a hawk. I think it took another day or so for her to do it on her own. But she's definitely getting better! She may not do it every day, but she does it here and there. I genuinely think that she's gonna try to walk before she ever crawls. She really hates being on her belly. So why on earth would she choose to crawl? I can't wait to see her try to walk. But I do hope she does try to learn to crawl bc that's just freaking adorable.
Last Wed, Emily and I had a big day bc we went into the city by ourselves! I had been wanting to go to my office to introduce Emily to my team. But man, the idea of trekking out there with her was so daunting bc of all the obstacles. But I knew I had to go in at least once, so I made up my mind, and did it. It was quite an ordeal, I have to admit. We left the house at 10:30am to catch the 11am train. I had to circle around looking for parking, and ended up getting one 2 avenues away. I had to walk super fast with the stroller to make it to our train. Turns out, the train was delayed indefinitely bc of a sick passenger. I ended up feeding Emily on the platform, which was very awkward bc she was sitting in her stroller, and I was holding her bottle while crouching to be close to her (all the while sweating bullets bc it was a 90 degree day). When we finally got on the train, I couldn't get a seat, so we stood while I continued to feed Emily throughout the train ride. Once we got to Penn Station, it was fairly simple. Took an elevator up the the ground level, took another elevator to get to the street level - very easy. Finding a cab was the hard part. But once I found a cab, it was easy again! Sy met me on the street to say hi to Emily, and then we went in to meet my team. Emily did great! I was afraid she might get stranger anxiety, but she was fine! She was even smiley and laughing with some people! It was only as we reached the 2 hour point of being awake did she start to get cranky. Finally, at 1pm, I left my office so that we could catch the 1:46pm train. Sy met me again and he decided to go with me to Penn Station. Man, with 2 people, it's SOOO much easier. Sy was able to bring Emily's stroller down the stairs to get to the subway while I held her in my arms. We rode the subway for 2 stops, took an elevator from the subway platform to the ground level, and then waited for my train. Sy then took the stroller down the stairs to the train, and we got on. (this whole event made me feel so bad for single parents. how do they do this with no help???) Once on the train, I fed Emily again. She was so tired bc she had completely missed an entire nap session. She got a little cranky but I was able to keep her entertained for the rest of the train ride. Once we got off the train, I rushed to the car, and Emily started crying hard bc she was so tired (and plus - she hates the car). Surprisingly, she fell asleep within minutes of the car ride (which she never does!), and slept the 8 min it took to get home. Once we got home, I quickly put her down for a nap and she slept nice and long. I was really proud of Emily and myself. It was a difficult trip to make, but we did it! Emily was such a trooper through it all, and was so great with my co workers!
This past Sat was my mom's 70th birthday party. We were having a banquet dinner at 5pm in NJ. I was pretty nervous for this event bc I was afraid that Emily would be too cranky by the time the guests arrived. We had to lose a nap bc Emily generally doesn't fall asleep in the car. So during her nap, we drove to NJ. Emily never ceases to amaze me though. Despite the lack of a nap, she was great! She didn't cry even when she was surrounded by so many faces and people touching her. She got passed around from person to person so everyone could hold her. She didn't cry - except maybe whimper a little when men tried to hold her. (I really think my men-fear theory is true!) It was only when it got to about 6:30pm that she had been awake for 4 hours that she finally broke and started to cry bc she was tired. She was tired, hot, and the room was kind of loud. So we decided to head out and get her home. The entire car ride home, Sy and I remarked about how proud we were of her for being such a champ and being such a good baby. I know this may be such a small feat - but to us, we couldn't be prouder. Everyone always tells us how sweet and good Emily is. And while I know that a lot of those comments could just be out of politeness, to me - I truly believe it. She's just the best!
I think overall, my fear that Emily will have bad stranger anxiety is subsiding. Yes, she can cry a little (especially with men), but it's nothing that's so severe that I should be worried. Hopefully, she will continue to develop and get over her fear and become a brave little girl.
I love watching her grow up. This is the best "tv show" I've ever watched! =D
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Tears and Fears - Week 23 Observations
This week, the biggest change we saw in Emily was the new development of stranger anxiety. We noticed it on Thurs evening when we went to go celebrate Sy's mom's birthday, and Emily started to cry around Sy's dad. She sees him the least of all of his family, so when he held her or got too close to her, she cried. We were super surprised bc Emily has shown no signs of stranger danger so far. But all of a sudden, it happened. We brushed it off thinking maybe it was bc she was super tired. She was up way past her bedtime. But the next day, we went to Home Goods, and we ran into Sy's friend there. He said hello by holding her foot and wiggling it a little, and then she started crying! Again, we chalked it up to her being tired. She had been especially cranky during that session, so we just assumed it was all part of it. But it happened again! On Sat, a couple friend of ours came over, and Emily did not like being held by the guy. And she was more tolerable to the girl holding her, but after a little while, she did start to cry. Again, we chalked it up to her being hungry, but it seemed like a pattern was developing. On Sun, Sy's cousins came over to visit Emily and she cried with the guy, and then cried with the girl as well. She was pretty crabby in general - maybe bc there was so much noise and chaos around her.
Overall, this has made me very sad. I always hoped that we would have a perfect baby who never had stranger danger, and would be happy to go to anyone. But it appears we may not. It's not 100% clear if it's just that we keep exposing her to people during the crankiest part of her day. But either way, she never used to do that even if she was cranky. I hope this phase goes away quickly bc I want her to be a confident and happy baby. No one likes a cry baby! I guess at the end of the day, as long as it isn't extreme - she's just being an average baby. Most babies go through this phase, and it's not an anomaly if she is. I have to always remind myself that every baby is different, and I can't compare her to other babies.
In terms of sleep, Emily seemed to have developed a small pattern last week. For 3 days straight, she slept 40 min in the morning, a long 2 hour nap, then 40 min each thereafter. I was happy bc this seemed like a good schedule for her. But as usual, our weekends kept her busy and messed up her schedule a lot.
On Sunday, we went to church for the first time in ages. The last time we went to church was when I was still pregnant. I was really looking forward to being able to sing praise songs and be inspired by a sermon. But it turns out that when you have a baby - all of that goes on pause. We sat in a separate nursery room for parents with children under 2. And because there were so many parents and kids in the room, there really was no way to hear what was going on in the screen. Even if I could, I was too distracted with feeding Emily, trying to meet new people, and trying to keep Emily entertained. It made me wonder - is this what church is like for parents of young kids? No spiritual nourishment - just the act and sacrifice of going to church for the sake of doing it? It was a little disheartening. It's bad enough that it took us 5 months to get to church, but once we were there, we couldn't experience any of it. It made me wonder if it's even worth it to go - all it did was mess with Emily's schedule in a terrible way, and take away time from our very limited time as a family.
I used to judge people when they didn't go to church once they had kids, but I'm seeing now how practical it is to not go. I hope and pray that going to church will get easier and that God will pour down His blessings not just as a reward for our sacrifice, but because we really miss having a relationship with Him.
Overall, this has made me very sad. I always hoped that we would have a perfect baby who never had stranger danger, and would be happy to go to anyone. But it appears we may not. It's not 100% clear if it's just that we keep exposing her to people during the crankiest part of her day. But either way, she never used to do that even if she was cranky. I hope this phase goes away quickly bc I want her to be a confident and happy baby. No one likes a cry baby! I guess at the end of the day, as long as it isn't extreme - she's just being an average baby. Most babies go through this phase, and it's not an anomaly if she is. I have to always remind myself that every baby is different, and I can't compare her to other babies.
In terms of sleep, Emily seemed to have developed a small pattern last week. For 3 days straight, she slept 40 min in the morning, a long 2 hour nap, then 40 min each thereafter. I was happy bc this seemed like a good schedule for her. But as usual, our weekends kept her busy and messed up her schedule a lot.
On Sunday, we went to church for the first time in ages. The last time we went to church was when I was still pregnant. I was really looking forward to being able to sing praise songs and be inspired by a sermon. But it turns out that when you have a baby - all of that goes on pause. We sat in a separate nursery room for parents with children under 2. And because there were so many parents and kids in the room, there really was no way to hear what was going on in the screen. Even if I could, I was too distracted with feeding Emily, trying to meet new people, and trying to keep Emily entertained. It made me wonder - is this what church is like for parents of young kids? No spiritual nourishment - just the act and sacrifice of going to church for the sake of doing it? It was a little disheartening. It's bad enough that it took us 5 months to get to church, but once we were there, we couldn't experience any of it. It made me wonder if it's even worth it to go - all it did was mess with Emily's schedule in a terrible way, and take away time from our very limited time as a family.
I used to judge people when they didn't go to church once they had kids, but I'm seeing now how practical it is to not go. I hope and pray that going to church will get easier and that God will pour down His blessings not just as a reward for our sacrifice, but because we really miss having a relationship with Him.
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Lottery dreams crushed - Week 22 Observations
I forgot to take notes this week on any new developments that I had noticed. I guess it was just a regular week for us - doing our usual routine every day.
I will say though, Emily has become super shrill these days. It's like she all of a sudden discovered she has a range of vocal sounds she can make, and now she just loves to use the highest decibel she possibly can. She uses it when she's tired or cranky. But man, it's really shrill, loud, and long. I wonder if this will mean she will have the ability to sing well! Hopefully, she'll be a soprano like her mama. Haha.
This weekend was the first not-so-crazy weekend for Emily. We didn't have any plans to drag her out to. So I bet she really enjoyed that. We just ran small errands like going to the supermarket or going to the UPS store, etc. I will say - everywhere we go - people love to come up to Emily and say hi to her and tell us how cute she is. I'm so biased and I truly believe that it's because she just is the cutest that this happens. But I have to tell myself that humans just love babies. Isn't that so fascinating though? Mankind just loves babies - it must truly be the reason why we keep having babies despite how difficult it is. They're so cute and irresistible that you would go up to strangers just to gaze at a little one. Personally, I think Emily is especially cute, but regardless, she gets a lot of attention. I hope she secretly enjoys it - even as a baby. Haha.
On Sunday, we went to the Taylor Swift concert and Sy's sister watched Emily for us. His sister told us that Emily was a perfect angel. She didn't cry at all when she put her down for bed, and didn't cry as she fell asleep. She just went to sleep! It made me so proud to know that her sleep training has gone so well and that she sleeps so well by herself. It also made us laugh/sad that she still cries hard when Sy tries to put her down. She hates him at bedtime! She won't cry with her aunt, but she'll cry with her dad. How very sad! I really do wonder if she is just traumatized by his nightly putdowns previously and still associates him with her excessive crying. If yes, how long is it going to take for her to forget it??
Sy and I checked out our first daycare this week. While there was nothing wrong with it, I just hated the idea of sending Emily to daycare. The ratio is 4:1, and it breaks my heart to think that Emily will just be ignored during parts of the day. If 2 or 3 babies are crying or needing attention, Emily will just be put on the floor and expected to just do her own thing with no one to play with her. This kills me. I don't want Emily to be left alone. I think that if she were older and could walk around and play with toys on her own, I wouldn't be so sad. But the fact that she's so young and still so dependent on people, that turns me off to daycare. We also interviewed our first nanny this weekend, and again - I got really sad. She's not going to love and care for Emily the way I do. It's so hard to find someone who can replace you. Figuring out childcare is one of the most stressful things to have to decide - especially bc it is the saddest thing you have to decide. I prayed super hard this week to try to win the lottery so that Sy and I could both stay home and watch Emily grow up. But alas, I did not win. And I'm back to trying to find solutions for Emily. I know everything will work out, but man ... I will really miss her so much.
I hope we find a good option for her, and I hope that God will give me the peace to know that she will be in good hands and will still love her mom even if she only sees me an hour a day.
I will say though, Emily has become super shrill these days. It's like she all of a sudden discovered she has a range of vocal sounds she can make, and now she just loves to use the highest decibel she possibly can. She uses it when she's tired or cranky. But man, it's really shrill, loud, and long. I wonder if this will mean she will have the ability to sing well! Hopefully, she'll be a soprano like her mama. Haha.
This weekend was the first not-so-crazy weekend for Emily. We didn't have any plans to drag her out to. So I bet she really enjoyed that. We just ran small errands like going to the supermarket or going to the UPS store, etc. I will say - everywhere we go - people love to come up to Emily and say hi to her and tell us how cute she is. I'm so biased and I truly believe that it's because she just is the cutest that this happens. But I have to tell myself that humans just love babies. Isn't that so fascinating though? Mankind just loves babies - it must truly be the reason why we keep having babies despite how difficult it is. They're so cute and irresistible that you would go up to strangers just to gaze at a little one. Personally, I think Emily is especially cute, but regardless, she gets a lot of attention. I hope she secretly enjoys it - even as a baby. Haha.
On Sunday, we went to the Taylor Swift concert and Sy's sister watched Emily for us. His sister told us that Emily was a perfect angel. She didn't cry at all when she put her down for bed, and didn't cry as she fell asleep. She just went to sleep! It made me so proud to know that her sleep training has gone so well and that she sleeps so well by herself. It also made us laugh/sad that she still cries hard when Sy tries to put her down. She hates him at bedtime! She won't cry with her aunt, but she'll cry with her dad. How very sad! I really do wonder if she is just traumatized by his nightly putdowns previously and still associates him with her excessive crying. If yes, how long is it going to take for her to forget it??
Sy and I checked out our first daycare this week. While there was nothing wrong with it, I just hated the idea of sending Emily to daycare. The ratio is 4:1, and it breaks my heart to think that Emily will just be ignored during parts of the day. If 2 or 3 babies are crying or needing attention, Emily will just be put on the floor and expected to just do her own thing with no one to play with her. This kills me. I don't want Emily to be left alone. I think that if she were older and could walk around and play with toys on her own, I wouldn't be so sad. But the fact that she's so young and still so dependent on people, that turns me off to daycare. We also interviewed our first nanny this weekend, and again - I got really sad. She's not going to love and care for Emily the way I do. It's so hard to find someone who can replace you. Figuring out childcare is one of the most stressful things to have to decide - especially bc it is the saddest thing you have to decide. I prayed super hard this week to try to win the lottery so that Sy and I could both stay home and watch Emily grow up. But alas, I did not win. And I'm back to trying to find solutions for Emily. I know everything will work out, but man ... I will really miss her so much.
I hope we find a good option for her, and I hope that God will give me the peace to know that she will be in good hands and will still love her mom even if she only sees me an hour a day.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
It's NOT my party, but I'll cry if I want to anyway - Week 21 Observations
Last week was a BIG week for Emily. We started sleep training! It kind of happened by accident. As I had mentioned, Emily has been especially sensitive with Sy lately. For some reason, at night, she cries extra hard with him - especially when putting her down to sleep. So on Tues night, Emily was crying up a storm, and he just gave up. He said, "Fine! If you're going to cry this hard, you might as well cry yourself to sleep!" And interestingly, she stopped crying when he put her down in her crib. It was almost as if she would rather lie in her crib than to be held by Sy. And after about 40 min of lying there, whining here and there, she fell asleep!
So the next day, I decided that it was important to continue what he had started, and I started to sleep train her naps as well. I had mentally told myself for weeks that I couldn't sleep train her by myself during the day. I wouldn't be able to handle the crying by myself and that I would need Sy to help distract me and prevent me from going in there. But I decided to be strong, and just do it by myself anyway bc I didn't want her to get confused with sleep training. So I did it. I told myself, I will sing her a song like usual, and rock her for no more than 5 minutes. I will wait until she gets sleepy, but put her down awake. And when I did it, she didn't really cry! She kind of whined a bit, but after 15 minutes, she fell asleep! I was so amazed!
Another important thing was that I wanted to see if she would sleep longer than 40 min. Her 40 min sleep cycles have been so frustrating bc I had no idea if she actually wanted more sleep than 40 min or if she just had too much trouble falling back asleep after 40 min. So after she woke up in 40 min, I left her there, and waited her out to see if she would fall back asleep and want more sleep - and she did! She took about 15-20 min to fall back asleep, but when she did, she slept long!
It was a pretty interesting week! Day 1, Emily slept a lot - meaning several 1.5-2hour naps. Day 2, Emily went back to sleeping 40 min at a time. Day 3, she slept a lot again. I couldn't figure out what her pattern was going to be like, but I knew that with a little bit of time as her body adjusted, a pattern would emerge. But either way, each day, she was getting better and better at falling asleep, and was waking up less at night to cry.
On Saturday, we had to go to a bbq at a friend's house down by Newark. I was worried about Emily during the car ride bc she hates car rides, but she didn't cry once! I think Emily is finally getting better about the car! Hooray! This gives me hope that maybe we will finally be able to start going places again. The only thing is, she still doesn't sleep in the car. So after 1 hour of driving, she finally fell asleep for the last 30 min of the drive. Good thing she slept then bc she did not sleep the rest of the day. We tried to continue sleep training her at this friend's house, but it must have been too foreign to her. She couldn't fall asleep and would cry and cry. First time, I let her cry 45 min, and the 2nd attempt, I let her cry for 30 min. It really killed me to hear her cry bc I knew it was partially bc she was scared. She was in some foreign room, and her mom and dad were not there at all. How scary must that be - of course she wasn't going to fall asleep! In the end, we felt so bad for her for not sleeping all day that we left the bbq early to take her home. Once we got home, she fell asleep so fast.
On Sunday, we took Emily to another dohl party at the end of the day. We thought that maybe this would be the ideal time for Emily to go to a party bc it was during her witching hour. But it turns out, we were wrong! Emily likes to take a short cat nap around 5pm, so bc she was out, she couldn't get her nap in. On top of that, the restaurant was very loud, and she doesn't like loud places. So she was so miserable! Emily is usually such a champ when we take her out. No matter how tired she is, she just hangs out just fine. But for the first time, she was not a happy camper. She actually cried! She cried bc she was miserable. And when I took her outside for a small break, she was calm bc it was finally quiet. It's so interesting how she's changing. I guess, now, she knows how to complain and she's not content to just do whatever we drag her to, but will actually voice her opinion and say I want to go home! We did take her home, and she slept very soundly.
It feels like Emily is growing up in the blink of an eye. She's getting kind of close to sitting up by herself. She can do it for a few seconds as long as her hands are supporting her. She also has been getting a little better at pushing the buttons herself for her toy. I once found her after a nap completely having turned 180 degrees in her crib. It's almost as if she turned 5 months and was like I'm a big girl now! Check it out! I wish I could slow down time. I go back to work in a month, and I feel like I'm going to miss out on so many of these little developments. What am I going to do?? I really hate America's maternity policy right now. If only we could be like Canada and have an entire year off. Sigh... in the meantime, I'm going to savor and cherish every second I can.
So the next day, I decided that it was important to continue what he had started, and I started to sleep train her naps as well. I had mentally told myself for weeks that I couldn't sleep train her by myself during the day. I wouldn't be able to handle the crying by myself and that I would need Sy to help distract me and prevent me from going in there. But I decided to be strong, and just do it by myself anyway bc I didn't want her to get confused with sleep training. So I did it. I told myself, I will sing her a song like usual, and rock her for no more than 5 minutes. I will wait until she gets sleepy, but put her down awake. And when I did it, she didn't really cry! She kind of whined a bit, but after 15 minutes, she fell asleep! I was so amazed!
Another important thing was that I wanted to see if she would sleep longer than 40 min. Her 40 min sleep cycles have been so frustrating bc I had no idea if she actually wanted more sleep than 40 min or if she just had too much trouble falling back asleep after 40 min. So after she woke up in 40 min, I left her there, and waited her out to see if she would fall back asleep and want more sleep - and she did! She took about 15-20 min to fall back asleep, but when she did, she slept long!
It was a pretty interesting week! Day 1, Emily slept a lot - meaning several 1.5-2hour naps. Day 2, Emily went back to sleeping 40 min at a time. Day 3, she slept a lot again. I couldn't figure out what her pattern was going to be like, but I knew that with a little bit of time as her body adjusted, a pattern would emerge. But either way, each day, she was getting better and better at falling asleep, and was waking up less at night to cry.
On Saturday, we had to go to a bbq at a friend's house down by Newark. I was worried about Emily during the car ride bc she hates car rides, but she didn't cry once! I think Emily is finally getting better about the car! Hooray! This gives me hope that maybe we will finally be able to start going places again. The only thing is, she still doesn't sleep in the car. So after 1 hour of driving, she finally fell asleep for the last 30 min of the drive. Good thing she slept then bc she did not sleep the rest of the day. We tried to continue sleep training her at this friend's house, but it must have been too foreign to her. She couldn't fall asleep and would cry and cry. First time, I let her cry 45 min, and the 2nd attempt, I let her cry for 30 min. It really killed me to hear her cry bc I knew it was partially bc she was scared. She was in some foreign room, and her mom and dad were not there at all. How scary must that be - of course she wasn't going to fall asleep! In the end, we felt so bad for her for not sleeping all day that we left the bbq early to take her home. Once we got home, she fell asleep so fast.
On Sunday, we took Emily to another dohl party at the end of the day. We thought that maybe this would be the ideal time for Emily to go to a party bc it was during her witching hour. But it turns out, we were wrong! Emily likes to take a short cat nap around 5pm, so bc she was out, she couldn't get her nap in. On top of that, the restaurant was very loud, and she doesn't like loud places. So she was so miserable! Emily is usually such a champ when we take her out. No matter how tired she is, she just hangs out just fine. But for the first time, she was not a happy camper. She actually cried! She cried bc she was miserable. And when I took her outside for a small break, she was calm bc it was finally quiet. It's so interesting how she's changing. I guess, now, she knows how to complain and she's not content to just do whatever we drag her to, but will actually voice her opinion and say I want to go home! We did take her home, and she slept very soundly.
It feels like Emily is growing up in the blink of an eye. She's getting kind of close to sitting up by herself. She can do it for a few seconds as long as her hands are supporting her. She also has been getting a little better at pushing the buttons herself for her toy. I once found her after a nap completely having turned 180 degrees in her crib. It's almost as if she turned 5 months and was like I'm a big girl now! Check it out! I wish I could slow down time. I go back to work in a month, and I feel like I'm going to miss out on so many of these little developments. What am I going to do?? I really hate America's maternity policy right now. If only we could be like Canada and have an entire year off. Sigh... in the meantime, I'm going to savor and cherish every second I can.
Monday, July 9, 2018
Sleep deprivation is the highest form of torture - Week 20 Observations
I gotta say - this was a hard week. On Mon and Tues, Emily was SOOO hard. She wouldn't sleep for more than 40 min each nap session. But because I knew she was tired from her lack of sleep, I would keep on trying to put her back to sleep. Unfortunately, after 20 min of hard rocking, she would sleep for 10 min, and then I'd start all over again, just for another 10 min of sleep. It was so bad. I was so mad at her. I wanted to do nothing but throw her in crib and be like FINE! YOU SLEEP YOURSELF! It was pretty bad. My anger had reached a ceiling. I was so mad at her that I decided that it was time to sleep train her. I wasn't going to continue this ridiculously exhausting pattern bc my legs, feet, and back were killing me. Even Sy was surprised by my change in tune.
Last week was the 4th of July, so we went to sleep over Sy's cousin's house in NJ. I was still pretty furious with Emily when we got to their house, and Sy's sister laughed as she was proud that I had finally reached a breaking point bc she had been advocating sleep training for a while, but I was too soft to do it.
On a side note- Emily hates car rides. She cries and cries and that's why we try not to take her anywhere too far. But it was an hour and 20 min car ride for her. And me, still being angry with her, was fine to let her cry in the car. In some ways, I had wanted her to cry just so I could feel some vengeance for the past 2 days. (Man, I was so angry with her)
Emily slept relatively fine that night, but because we were all sharing a room, when Sy and I crept into the room at 2am, we woke her up and had to rock her back to sleep. That led to her not getting good sleep, and she woke up at 5am, in which we had to rock her back to sleep, and then woke up again and again until about 6:30am. She finally slept from 6:30am - 7:30am. Sy and I were exhausted.
On a highlight - we got to take Emily into a pool for the first time! Sy's sister had gotten matching rash guards for Emily and her cousin, so they were super adorable in their matching shirts and hats. And we were so proud of Emily for not crying in the pool! She seemed totally fine with it! What a relief! I was afraid she'd be a fearful baby and not want to go in, but I'm glad she's a brave one. She was so curious about everything.
Back to Emily's sleep - she again slept only 40 min at a time, and was so cranky from being tired. By the time we got home, she was so exhausted and fell asleep pretty quickly. But unfortunately, the fireworks were so loud, they woke her up and she woke up several times that night.
We did our best to give her a good day of rest on Thurs and Friday so she could fix her sleep pattern, but it didn't really work. On Friday, we had to get a passport for Emily, so she missed another nap, and therefore didn't get to sleep as well as we would've hoped.
On Sat, Emily suddenly started sleeping great, and slept super long all morning. We had plans to go meet friends at a beer garden that afternoon, and wondered if we should just stay in since she was finally getting some sleep. But selfishly, we decided to go. It ended up being super loud there and Emily couldn't fall asleep and got really cranky. After an hour and half, I decided to just take her home and sleep her there. She ended up sleeping another hour and I was so happy for her.
Then Sy's friends decided to come over to our house and leave the babies with me and one other girl. And that turned out to be the biggest mistake ever. There were 2 toddlers in our house + Emily. This was a bad combination bc we were outnumbered. When I tried to put Emily down for bed around 8pm, she kept waking up to the other 2 toddlers yelling and to the loud bang sounds she heard. I ended up putting Emily down after 40 min straight of rocking. Then, she woke up again and again bc the toddlers would cry and she would wake up freaked out, or hear loud bang sounds and wake up again. I bet she was scared bc she would be in this dark room, hear a loud sound or crying, and be like HELP! I'm alone and scared! I felt so bad for the girl. This continued a whole bunch of more times until Sy came home around 10:30pm. He then tried to put her down for 30 min and couldn't do it. So I went and put her down. And then she woke up again at 12:30am and 5am. It was such a bad night for her. The poor girl got so little sleep compared to her usual 11 hours.
We then spent all of Sunday trying to sleep her as best as we could. She was so tired that she slept well all morning and even decently throughout the afternoon. I felt so much hope that she would be able to fix all this bad sleep debt and get a good night's rest. But instead, she ended up having a terrible night of sleep again. She could NOT fall asleep for the life of her - even after an hour of putting her to sleep. And then she woke up again at 9:30pm, 10:30pm, and 11pm. Sy got so angry with her that he tried to sleep train her right then and there.
I am so stressed about her sleep debt. I want so badly to correct her sleep so that A) she will get adequate sleep and B) she will stop being so difficult to sleep. It's so frustrating that 1 bad day/night of sleep can takes days to fix. It makes me never want to go out EVER. But we can't live such a boring life! Oh the dilemma. Let's pray that I can fix her sleep this week. We are not going anywhere at all!
Last week was the 4th of July, so we went to sleep over Sy's cousin's house in NJ. I was still pretty furious with Emily when we got to their house, and Sy's sister laughed as she was proud that I had finally reached a breaking point bc she had been advocating sleep training for a while, but I was too soft to do it.
On a side note- Emily hates car rides. She cries and cries and that's why we try not to take her anywhere too far. But it was an hour and 20 min car ride for her. And me, still being angry with her, was fine to let her cry in the car. In some ways, I had wanted her to cry just so I could feel some vengeance for the past 2 days. (Man, I was so angry with her)
Emily slept relatively fine that night, but because we were all sharing a room, when Sy and I crept into the room at 2am, we woke her up and had to rock her back to sleep. That led to her not getting good sleep, and she woke up at 5am, in which we had to rock her back to sleep, and then woke up again and again until about 6:30am. She finally slept from 6:30am - 7:30am. Sy and I were exhausted.
On a highlight - we got to take Emily into a pool for the first time! Sy's sister had gotten matching rash guards for Emily and her cousin, so they were super adorable in their matching shirts and hats. And we were so proud of Emily for not crying in the pool! She seemed totally fine with it! What a relief! I was afraid she'd be a fearful baby and not want to go in, but I'm glad she's a brave one. She was so curious about everything.
Back to Emily's sleep - she again slept only 40 min at a time, and was so cranky from being tired. By the time we got home, she was so exhausted and fell asleep pretty quickly. But unfortunately, the fireworks were so loud, they woke her up and she woke up several times that night.
We did our best to give her a good day of rest on Thurs and Friday so she could fix her sleep pattern, but it didn't really work. On Friday, we had to get a passport for Emily, so she missed another nap, and therefore didn't get to sleep as well as we would've hoped.
On Sat, Emily suddenly started sleeping great, and slept super long all morning. We had plans to go meet friends at a beer garden that afternoon, and wondered if we should just stay in since she was finally getting some sleep. But selfishly, we decided to go. It ended up being super loud there and Emily couldn't fall asleep and got really cranky. After an hour and half, I decided to just take her home and sleep her there. She ended up sleeping another hour and I was so happy for her.
Then Sy's friends decided to come over to our house and leave the babies with me and one other girl. And that turned out to be the biggest mistake ever. There were 2 toddlers in our house + Emily. This was a bad combination bc we were outnumbered. When I tried to put Emily down for bed around 8pm, she kept waking up to the other 2 toddlers yelling and to the loud bang sounds she heard. I ended up putting Emily down after 40 min straight of rocking. Then, she woke up again and again bc the toddlers would cry and she would wake up freaked out, or hear loud bang sounds and wake up again. I bet she was scared bc she would be in this dark room, hear a loud sound or crying, and be like HELP! I'm alone and scared! I felt so bad for the girl. This continued a whole bunch of more times until Sy came home around 10:30pm. He then tried to put her down for 30 min and couldn't do it. So I went and put her down. And then she woke up again at 12:30am and 5am. It was such a bad night for her. The poor girl got so little sleep compared to her usual 11 hours.
We then spent all of Sunday trying to sleep her as best as we could. She was so tired that she slept well all morning and even decently throughout the afternoon. I felt so much hope that she would be able to fix all this bad sleep debt and get a good night's rest. But instead, she ended up having a terrible night of sleep again. She could NOT fall asleep for the life of her - even after an hour of putting her to sleep. And then she woke up again at 9:30pm, 10:30pm, and 11pm. Sy got so angry with her that he tried to sleep train her right then and there.
I am so stressed about her sleep debt. I want so badly to correct her sleep so that A) she will get adequate sleep and B) she will stop being so difficult to sleep. It's so frustrating that 1 bad day/night of sleep can takes days to fix. It makes me never want to go out EVER. But we can't live such a boring life! Oh the dilemma. Let's pray that I can fix her sleep this week. We are not going anywhere at all!
Friday, July 6, 2018
Here comes the mom - Week 19 Observations
This was a slow week for new developments. But I will say, this was a sad week for poo. Emily didn't poo for 3 days straight, and when she finally had to go, she would cry hard as she was trying to push it out. It was so sad to see. Her tears and pain and frustration were so real, and yet we were completely helpless to help her at all. There was nothing we could do except try to stimulate her butt or just hold her as she cried. I felt really bad because I had wondered if she had stopped pooping bc I had stopped giving her breast milk. It was eerily a coincidence that she stopped pooping the same week I had finally weaned off pumping. And the worst part? It happened again! She didn't poo for 3 days straight again, and Sy told me that she cried so hard she was shaking. Man, baby constipation is so hard - literally and figuratively.
This week was an interesting week bc I had a lot of plans. Thurs night, I had to go into the city for a mini bachelorette. Sy had to stay home from work so I could get to the city on time for the festivities. It was the first time I had an alcoholic drink in a year - and man, I could not handle it whatsoever. For some strange reason, throughout my entire pregnancy, I craved sangria really bad. So I finally had my first glass of sangria at dinner, and it tasted so good. But after only 1/4 of the cup, I started feeling the effects hard. First, I turned red as a beet and was super hot. Then I got really sleepy. Then I got really nauseous and felt sick. I almost decided to go home bc I felt so sick. But thankfully the alcohol wore off gradually and I was able to stay out a little longer.
Friday night, we brought Emily to a rehearsal dinner. And Saturday, I had to stand in a wedding as the maid of honor. I had to leave my house at 7:30am. Basically, I was leaving Emily for the first time all day long. I wasn't going to see her the rest of the day and night. I had been looking forward to this day for months - this was going to be my first real day off. And yet, I got sad to leave her. I cried a little saying goodbye to her in the morning, and missed her all day! It's so crazy how you can be so tired of watching your baby day in and day out, but then when you leave them, it's the saddest day ever. Poor Sy had never watched Emily this long without me, so he was pretty nervous. The sad part is that Emily basically got no sleep. Ever since Sy went to Vegas, Emily has been crying even harder when Sy tries to put her to sleep. So as a result, she just would not sleep with Sy all day - 40 min here and there. I was so worried for her! Sy had to drop off Emily at his sister's so he could come and attend the wedding as well. So I worried again that she would get no sleep bc she was in a foreign place and wouldn't fall asleep. Thankfully, she slept decently there! When Sy and I picked her up around midnight, we were able to successfully transfer her from the bassinet to the car seat, drive home, and put her in her own crib all without waking up! I was so proud of her!
After 3 days of poor sleep (Thurs she missed a nap bc Sy took her to see his parents, Friday the rehearsal dinner, and Sat with Sy), we decided to give her a nice, quiet day on Sunday. She slept more thankfully!
All in all, I found it to be an interesting week. I learned that taking a day off or even a night off is so much coordination for a mom. If Sy takes a night off, it's no big deal - business as usual. But when I take a night off, Sy has to take off work, I have to leave instructions on what to do, and sleep issues ensue. On the one hand, it makes me proud to know that Emily is in good hands when it's just me and her - I've become a capable mom! On the other hand, it makes me feel like moms are so invaluable that it sort of becomes like entrapment.
In the meantime, let's hope the poo starts flowing more regularly again!
This week was an interesting week bc I had a lot of plans. Thurs night, I had to go into the city for a mini bachelorette. Sy had to stay home from work so I could get to the city on time for the festivities. It was the first time I had an alcoholic drink in a year - and man, I could not handle it whatsoever. For some strange reason, throughout my entire pregnancy, I craved sangria really bad. So I finally had my first glass of sangria at dinner, and it tasted so good. But after only 1/4 of the cup, I started feeling the effects hard. First, I turned red as a beet and was super hot. Then I got really sleepy. Then I got really nauseous and felt sick. I almost decided to go home bc I felt so sick. But thankfully the alcohol wore off gradually and I was able to stay out a little longer.
Friday night, we brought Emily to a rehearsal dinner. And Saturday, I had to stand in a wedding as the maid of honor. I had to leave my house at 7:30am. Basically, I was leaving Emily for the first time all day long. I wasn't going to see her the rest of the day and night. I had been looking forward to this day for months - this was going to be my first real day off. And yet, I got sad to leave her. I cried a little saying goodbye to her in the morning, and missed her all day! It's so crazy how you can be so tired of watching your baby day in and day out, but then when you leave them, it's the saddest day ever. Poor Sy had never watched Emily this long without me, so he was pretty nervous. The sad part is that Emily basically got no sleep. Ever since Sy went to Vegas, Emily has been crying even harder when Sy tries to put her to sleep. So as a result, she just would not sleep with Sy all day - 40 min here and there. I was so worried for her! Sy had to drop off Emily at his sister's so he could come and attend the wedding as well. So I worried again that she would get no sleep bc she was in a foreign place and wouldn't fall asleep. Thankfully, she slept decently there! When Sy and I picked her up around midnight, we were able to successfully transfer her from the bassinet to the car seat, drive home, and put her in her own crib all without waking up! I was so proud of her!
After 3 days of poor sleep (Thurs she missed a nap bc Sy took her to see his parents, Friday the rehearsal dinner, and Sat with Sy), we decided to give her a nice, quiet day on Sunday. She slept more thankfully!
All in all, I found it to be an interesting week. I learned that taking a day off or even a night off is so much coordination for a mom. If Sy takes a night off, it's no big deal - business as usual. But when I take a night off, Sy has to take off work, I have to leave instructions on what to do, and sleep issues ensue. On the one hand, it makes me proud to know that Emily is in good hands when it's just me and her - I've become a capable mom! On the other hand, it makes me feel like moms are so invaluable that it sort of becomes like entrapment.
In the meantime, let's hope the poo starts flowing more regularly again!
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