This week, the biggest change we saw in Emily was the new development of stranger anxiety. We noticed it on Thurs evening when we went to go celebrate Sy's mom's birthday, and Emily started to cry around Sy's dad. She sees him the least of all of his family, so when he held her or got too close to her, she cried. We were super surprised bc Emily has shown no signs of stranger danger so far. But all of a sudden, it happened. We brushed it off thinking maybe it was bc she was super tired. She was up way past her bedtime. But the next day, we went to Home Goods, and we ran into Sy's friend there. He said hello by holding her foot and wiggling it a little, and then she started crying! Again, we chalked it up to her being tired. She had been especially cranky during that session, so we just assumed it was all part of it. But it happened again! On Sat, a couple friend of ours came over, and Emily did not like being held by the guy. And she was more tolerable to the girl holding her, but after a little while, she did start to cry. Again, we chalked it up to her being hungry, but it seemed like a pattern was developing. On Sun, Sy's cousins came over to visit Emily and she cried with the guy, and then cried with the girl as well. She was pretty crabby in general - maybe bc there was so much noise and chaos around her.
Overall, this has made me very sad. I always hoped that we would have a perfect baby who never had stranger danger, and would be happy to go to anyone. But it appears we may not. It's not 100% clear if it's just that we keep exposing her to people during the crankiest part of her day. But either way, she never used to do that even if she was cranky. I hope this phase goes away quickly bc I want her to be a confident and happy baby. No one likes a cry baby! I guess at the end of the day, as long as it isn't extreme - she's just being an average baby. Most babies go through this phase, and it's not an anomaly if she is. I have to always remind myself that every baby is different, and I can't compare her to other babies.
In terms of sleep, Emily seemed to have developed a small pattern last week. For 3 days straight, she slept 40 min in the morning, a long 2 hour nap, then 40 min each thereafter. I was happy bc this seemed like a good schedule for her. But as usual, our weekends kept her busy and messed up her schedule a lot.
On Sunday, we went to church for the first time in ages. The last time we went to church was when I was still pregnant. I was really looking forward to being able to sing praise songs and be inspired by a sermon. But it turns out that when you have a baby - all of that goes on pause. We sat in a separate nursery room for parents with children under 2. And because there were so many parents and kids in the room, there really was no way to hear what was going on in the screen. Even if I could, I was too distracted with feeding Emily, trying to meet new people, and trying to keep Emily entertained. It made me wonder - is this what church is like for parents of young kids? No spiritual nourishment - just the act and sacrifice of going to church for the sake of doing it? It was a little disheartening. It's bad enough that it took us 5 months to get to church, but once we were there, we couldn't experience any of it. It made me wonder if it's even worth it to go - all it did was mess with Emily's schedule in a terrible way, and take away time from our very limited time as a family.
I used to judge people when they didn't go to church once they had kids, but I'm seeing now how practical it is to not go. I hope and pray that going to church will get easier and that God will pour down His blessings not just as a reward for our sacrifice, but because we really miss having a relationship with Him.
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