Making memories

Part of the reason I started this blog was so that I could keep track of the memories and stories of our newlywed days.  Time flies by so quickly, and soon enough, this first year of marriage will be a distant memory.  But I want to create a time capsule of our marriage so that we can look back on these days when we're older and weathered, and smile back at these first memories.

Last week, Sy and I went to go buy our very first Christmas tree together. I had never had a fresh tree growing up. So Sy and I agreed that for our first tree as a married couple, we would do it right and get a real tree with that good old pine smell.  =)

Here is Sy bringing home our tree!

As I walked beside him, I couldn't stop smiling looking at him carrying that tree on his shoulder. He looked so strong, so manly. In that moment, I felt safe knowing that he was my husband and he was going to be the one to take care of me for the rest of our lives. And this man would be the one who would swoop up our future children into those arms and carry them on his shoulders.

We laughed as we walked back to our car. Sy said that something about carrying that tree made him feel super "married," and how this was such a married thing to do... buy a Christmas tree off the street and carry it home on your shoulders.  We only wished that it could be snowing to make it just perfectly quaint.

I hope we will always remember this first Christmas. It was such a sweet and funny night.

Sharing is caring

An interesting thing happened yesterday.  Sy and I were checking out a new church, and after the service was over, I noticed that there was a table with coffee and munchkins free to take.  I immediately gravitated towards this table, happily grabbed a munchkin, and walked back to Sy as I munched and ate it.

Once he saw me, he asked me, "You only got 1 munchkin? You didn't bring me one?" And I realized, I didn't think about him whatsoever, or if he might want a munchkin.  And I should've known... who doesn't want a munchkin?

But here's the back story.  I've been going to my previous church for 10 years.  And for 10 years, I've had the same routine.  After service, I go get a munchkin, talk to some friends, then go out for lunch.  I never had anyone to think about to bring extra munchkins for.  So, out of force of habit, when I saw these munchkins, I just went for it.  It may have been a different location, but to me, it was a revised version of my old routine.

I felt bad after he pointed it.  (Especially because he continues to point out that I'm not really good at sharing.)  I admit it.  I'm not good at sharing.  I've never been good at sharing.  I do it... but reluctantly.  Maybe it's because there was never surplus treats for me growing up. Or maybe it was because my sister is 4 years older, so for many years of my life, I felt like an only child and didn't have to share.  But either way, I'm bad at sharing.  I'm aware of this shortcoming of mine, and I do work on being a more sharing person, but it definitely doesn't come naturally, and it comes with a lot self-chiding to make myself a better person.  Hence - I forgot to get my own husband a munchkin. 

I realized that my reluctance to share is also tied to my overall selfishness.  I like being selfish.  Therefore, I don't like to share.  It's my munchkin.  I found it.  You didn't. Go get your own! 

Sigh, marriage just keeps on revealing how selfish I am.  It's not a fun process to see your sins exposed, but worse - to have to try to do something about it. Sometimes, when Sy and I are sitting on the couch watching tv, I will want to snack on something, and I forget to offer him some.  A large part of me wants to defend myself and say, just ask for a bite!  No need to get stinky at me because I forgot to offer you some!  But when I think about how I would feel if the tables were turned, and he perpetually forgot to share with me, I'd be sad too.  When I turn things around to how I would feel (again, so selfish!), then I really begin to understand how it feels to be on the receiving end of selfishnes.

I really hope that in this first year of marriage (which they say is the hardest year of marriage), we will work out all our kinks, and I will burn away much of my selfishness for the sake of a loving and caring marriage.  Sharing really is caring.  I just gotta care for him more.  Wish me luck!