this week, i went swimming in a pool that had a deep end of 9 feet. for those of you who forget, i am only 5 feet tall, so it's fairly easy for me to drown. ;) (i remember i once almost drowned when someone threw me into water that was 4'8" deep. they thought i'd be fine bc i was 5 foot, but they forgot that if i were to stand up in 4'8" water, the water would come up to around my forehead, so i am pretty much submerged in water. haha)
anyway, so the pool that i was in was 9 feet deep. normally, i would never even venture past the 4 foot end of the pool, but because i was equipped with a noodle (a flotation device), i decided to "swim" out there. once i got to the deep end, i stopped swimming and just "stood" there with my noodle. as my feet dangled in the water with the floor several feet below me, i should've been panic-stricken. it's a scary sensation to be without solid ground beneath you. but i was fine. i had full confidence in my noodle's ability to keep me afloat. i found that i had no fear of drowning bc i knew that i'd be perfectly safe as long as i held on to my noodle.
so as i floated in the water, staring up at the beautiful blue sky, i felt my body relax. all the muscles in my body became one with the water and not a single cell in my body was tense. a sigh of contentment escaped me while i felt nothing but joy of being on vacation.
and as i lay in the water happily floating with my noodle, i realized that this is how faith works. when you have faith that God is going to keep you afloat, that even though you can't feel the ground beneath you, you know you are perfectly safe in His hands, you can't help but relax. i could've been freaked out that there was almost double my height's worth of water to drown in, but i trusted in my noodle. that's the problem with looking down at the "what if's" of the abyss, it makes you freak out and tense up, and make you less likely to float. but if you trust in God, when you look up, all there is is beautiful blue sky, even with the possibility of death beneath me.
i prayed right then and there that i would trust in Him the same way i trusted in my noodle. i prayed that i would be able to hold closely to Him bc there's no way i will drown as long as i have Him. and i prayed that i would have the perfect peace that comes with trusting in Him bc He is bigger than i'll ever know.
thanks Daddy for the lesson in the pool. =)
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
prayer walk
i meant to write this entry weeks ago, but i was busy. sorry!
a few weeks ago, our church had a YA Conference. for the group activity, we were supposed to go on a prayer walk. i had never done this before in my life, so i had zero expectations for it. i just thought it'd be a nice thing for us to do - to pray over different parts/neighborhoods of nyc. i had no idea that it would be so powerfully eye-opening for me.
my group was assigned to pray over columbus circle. we ate lunch at bouchon bakery, somewhere i have gone to so many times in the past. everything felt very ho-hum, very standard, like an everyday experience. but that changed the moment we began walking around to pray.
as i walked through those very familiar floors, i saw columbus circle as God may see it. i found myself praying against all the materialism that lives in this building. i prayed against all the idols of money that sweep through this place day in and day out. and it was surprising for me to pray these words, bc i, too, have come to this place so many times to shop. and i, too, have dreamed of one day being able to eat at Per Se, to feel like i have "made it" in life.
but the most surprising part was when i walked into sephora. from the moment i stepped in, i felt like i had walked into a very heavy cloud. i felt so much oppression in this one store. as i walked through the crowded aisles of sephora, i felt so much darkness and so much heaviness. it was like i could feel all the self-hatred coming from women, all of the desperation to be beautiful, all of the insecurities they felt, all of the sadness of feeling de-valued for their lack of beauty. i felt satan's attacks on these women so strongly. the lies he whispered into each of these women's hearts were so loud to me. this sephora was such a HUGE spiritual battlefield. i prayed and prayed for these women to know they were beautiful and loved in God's eyes. that no amount of makeup could ever make them more beautiful to the One who's opinion matters most. but honestly, i felt like my prayers were being stamped out faster than i could say them.
as i finally walked out of sephora, my eyes were truly opened to how much we really need to pray for our cities. how many times have i gone to that very sephora to pick up some makeup supplies? and yet, i had never sensed any of this! maybe the enemy was pulling on all of the insecurities in my own head, and i had succumbed to the values of this world that i wasn't worth anything unless i was pretty and loved by some man. there were so many women in this store. if i prayed for each of them, i could've easily been in there for hours.
i hope that i will pray for nyc more. that i will see all the pain and hurt in God's children and love and pray for them. i hope that i will fight against the enemy. maybe if i pray long enough, he won't be able to squash one of them, and someone will feel the love and hope of Jesus.
a few weeks ago, our church had a YA Conference. for the group activity, we were supposed to go on a prayer walk. i had never done this before in my life, so i had zero expectations for it. i just thought it'd be a nice thing for us to do - to pray over different parts/neighborhoods of nyc. i had no idea that it would be so powerfully eye-opening for me.
my group was assigned to pray over columbus circle. we ate lunch at bouchon bakery, somewhere i have gone to so many times in the past. everything felt very ho-hum, very standard, like an everyday experience. but that changed the moment we began walking around to pray.
as i walked through those very familiar floors, i saw columbus circle as God may see it. i found myself praying against all the materialism that lives in this building. i prayed against all the idols of money that sweep through this place day in and day out. and it was surprising for me to pray these words, bc i, too, have come to this place so many times to shop. and i, too, have dreamed of one day being able to eat at Per Se, to feel like i have "made it" in life.
but the most surprising part was when i walked into sephora. from the moment i stepped in, i felt like i had walked into a very heavy cloud. i felt so much oppression in this one store. as i walked through the crowded aisles of sephora, i felt so much darkness and so much heaviness. it was like i could feel all the self-hatred coming from women, all of the desperation to be beautiful, all of the insecurities they felt, all of the sadness of feeling de-valued for their lack of beauty. i felt satan's attacks on these women so strongly. the lies he whispered into each of these women's hearts were so loud to me. this sephora was such a HUGE spiritual battlefield. i prayed and prayed for these women to know they were beautiful and loved in God's eyes. that no amount of makeup could ever make them more beautiful to the One who's opinion matters most. but honestly, i felt like my prayers were being stamped out faster than i could say them.
as i finally walked out of sephora, my eyes were truly opened to how much we really need to pray for our cities. how many times have i gone to that very sephora to pick up some makeup supplies? and yet, i had never sensed any of this! maybe the enemy was pulling on all of the insecurities in my own head, and i had succumbed to the values of this world that i wasn't worth anything unless i was pretty and loved by some man. there were so many women in this store. if i prayed for each of them, i could've easily been in there for hours.
i hope that i will pray for nyc more. that i will see all the pain and hurt in God's children and love and pray for them. i hope that i will fight against the enemy. maybe if i pray long enough, he won't be able to squash one of them, and someone will feel the love and hope of Jesus.
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