i've recently been reading "the great divorce" by c.s. lewis. in case you don't know what it's about, basically, a man takes a bus from hell to heaven. anyone who wants to be in heaven, can totally stay there, but one by one, each of them wants to return back to hell.
for a while, i felt like this book totally didn't apply to me. anyone who has spoken with me in the past few months knows that i am desperate to go to heaven asap. so why would anyone turn down the opportunity to leave hell and go to heaven?
and then i got to this part...
"there is always something they prefer to joy - you call it the Sulks."
i sat there thinking about all the times i chose to sulk in a bad mood instead of doing something to get out of it. i thought about friendships i lost when i was younger bc i was too prideful to apologize. i thought about the long periods of silent treatment i gave to my family, prolonging our time of tension when i could've reconciled sooner.
this is how we choose hell over heaven. this is how we can choose heaven over hell.
i know i re-learn this lesson every year, every few months, and perhaps i will for the rest of my life, but we can choose to be joyful. we just have to let go of ourselves.
i choose heaven. =)
