This week, the biggest change we saw in Emily was the new development of stranger anxiety. We noticed it on Thurs evening when we went to go celebrate Sy's mom's birthday, and Emily started to cry around Sy's dad. She sees him the least of all of his family, so when he held her or got too close to her, she cried. We were super surprised bc Emily has shown no signs of stranger danger so far. But all of a sudden, it happened. We brushed it off thinking maybe it was bc she was super tired. She was up way past her bedtime. But the next day, we went to Home Goods, and we ran into Sy's friend there. He said hello by holding her foot and wiggling it a little, and then she started crying! Again, we chalked it up to her being tired. She had been especially cranky during that session, so we just assumed it was all part of it. But it happened again! On Sat, a couple friend of ours came over, and Emily did not like being held by the guy. And she was more tolerable to the girl holding her, but after a little while, she did start to cry. Again, we chalked it up to her being hungry, but it seemed like a pattern was developing. On Sun, Sy's cousins came over to visit Emily and she cried with the guy, and then cried with the girl as well. She was pretty crabby in general - maybe bc there was so much noise and chaos around her.
Overall, this has made me very sad. I always hoped that we would have a perfect baby who never had stranger danger, and would be happy to go to anyone. But it appears we may not. It's not 100% clear if it's just that we keep exposing her to people during the crankiest part of her day. But either way, she never used to do that even if she was cranky. I hope this phase goes away quickly bc I want her to be a confident and happy baby. No one likes a cry baby! I guess at the end of the day, as long as it isn't extreme - she's just being an average baby. Most babies go through this phase, and it's not an anomaly if she is. I have to always remind myself that every baby is different, and I can't compare her to other babies.
In terms of sleep, Emily seemed to have developed a small pattern last week. For 3 days straight, she slept 40 min in the morning, a long 2 hour nap, then 40 min each thereafter. I was happy bc this seemed like a good schedule for her. But as usual, our weekends kept her busy and messed up her schedule a lot.
On Sunday, we went to church for the first time in ages. The last time we went to church was when I was still pregnant. I was really looking forward to being able to sing praise songs and be inspired by a sermon. But it turns out that when you have a baby - all of that goes on pause. We sat in a separate nursery room for parents with children under 2. And because there were so many parents and kids in the room, there really was no way to hear what was going on in the screen. Even if I could, I was too distracted with feeding Emily, trying to meet new people, and trying to keep Emily entertained. It made me wonder - is this what church is like for parents of young kids? No spiritual nourishment - just the act and sacrifice of going to church for the sake of doing it? It was a little disheartening. It's bad enough that it took us 5 months to get to church, but once we were there, we couldn't experience any of it. It made me wonder if it's even worth it to go - all it did was mess with Emily's schedule in a terrible way, and take away time from our very limited time as a family.
I used to judge people when they didn't go to church once they had kids, but I'm seeing now how practical it is to not go. I hope and pray that going to church will get easier and that God will pour down His blessings not just as a reward for our sacrifice, but because we really miss having a relationship with Him.
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Lottery dreams crushed - Week 22 Observations
I forgot to take notes this week on any new developments that I had noticed. I guess it was just a regular week for us - doing our usual routine every day.
I will say though, Emily has become super shrill these days. It's like she all of a sudden discovered she has a range of vocal sounds she can make, and now she just loves to use the highest decibel she possibly can. She uses it when she's tired or cranky. But man, it's really shrill, loud, and long. I wonder if this will mean she will have the ability to sing well! Hopefully, she'll be a soprano like her mama. Haha.
This weekend was the first not-so-crazy weekend for Emily. We didn't have any plans to drag her out to. So I bet she really enjoyed that. We just ran small errands like going to the supermarket or going to the UPS store, etc. I will say - everywhere we go - people love to come up to Emily and say hi to her and tell us how cute she is. I'm so biased and I truly believe that it's because she just is the cutest that this happens. But I have to tell myself that humans just love babies. Isn't that so fascinating though? Mankind just loves babies - it must truly be the reason why we keep having babies despite how difficult it is. They're so cute and irresistible that you would go up to strangers just to gaze at a little one. Personally, I think Emily is especially cute, but regardless, she gets a lot of attention. I hope she secretly enjoys it - even as a baby. Haha.
On Sunday, we went to the Taylor Swift concert and Sy's sister watched Emily for us. His sister told us that Emily was a perfect angel. She didn't cry at all when she put her down for bed, and didn't cry as she fell asleep. She just went to sleep! It made me so proud to know that her sleep training has gone so well and that she sleeps so well by herself. It also made us laugh/sad that she still cries hard when Sy tries to put her down. She hates him at bedtime! She won't cry with her aunt, but she'll cry with her dad. How very sad! I really do wonder if she is just traumatized by his nightly putdowns previously and still associates him with her excessive crying. If yes, how long is it going to take for her to forget it??
Sy and I checked out our first daycare this week. While there was nothing wrong with it, I just hated the idea of sending Emily to daycare. The ratio is 4:1, and it breaks my heart to think that Emily will just be ignored during parts of the day. If 2 or 3 babies are crying or needing attention, Emily will just be put on the floor and expected to just do her own thing with no one to play with her. This kills me. I don't want Emily to be left alone. I think that if she were older and could walk around and play with toys on her own, I wouldn't be so sad. But the fact that she's so young and still so dependent on people, that turns me off to daycare. We also interviewed our first nanny this weekend, and again - I got really sad. She's not going to love and care for Emily the way I do. It's so hard to find someone who can replace you. Figuring out childcare is one of the most stressful things to have to decide - especially bc it is the saddest thing you have to decide. I prayed super hard this week to try to win the lottery so that Sy and I could both stay home and watch Emily grow up. But alas, I did not win. And I'm back to trying to find solutions for Emily. I know everything will work out, but man ... I will really miss her so much.
I hope we find a good option for her, and I hope that God will give me the peace to know that she will be in good hands and will still love her mom even if she only sees me an hour a day.
I will say though, Emily has become super shrill these days. It's like she all of a sudden discovered she has a range of vocal sounds she can make, and now she just loves to use the highest decibel she possibly can. She uses it when she's tired or cranky. But man, it's really shrill, loud, and long. I wonder if this will mean she will have the ability to sing well! Hopefully, she'll be a soprano like her mama. Haha.
This weekend was the first not-so-crazy weekend for Emily. We didn't have any plans to drag her out to. So I bet she really enjoyed that. We just ran small errands like going to the supermarket or going to the UPS store, etc. I will say - everywhere we go - people love to come up to Emily and say hi to her and tell us how cute she is. I'm so biased and I truly believe that it's because she just is the cutest that this happens. But I have to tell myself that humans just love babies. Isn't that so fascinating though? Mankind just loves babies - it must truly be the reason why we keep having babies despite how difficult it is. They're so cute and irresistible that you would go up to strangers just to gaze at a little one. Personally, I think Emily is especially cute, but regardless, she gets a lot of attention. I hope she secretly enjoys it - even as a baby. Haha.
On Sunday, we went to the Taylor Swift concert and Sy's sister watched Emily for us. His sister told us that Emily was a perfect angel. She didn't cry at all when she put her down for bed, and didn't cry as she fell asleep. She just went to sleep! It made me so proud to know that her sleep training has gone so well and that she sleeps so well by herself. It also made us laugh/sad that she still cries hard when Sy tries to put her down. She hates him at bedtime! She won't cry with her aunt, but she'll cry with her dad. How very sad! I really do wonder if she is just traumatized by his nightly putdowns previously and still associates him with her excessive crying. If yes, how long is it going to take for her to forget it??
Sy and I checked out our first daycare this week. While there was nothing wrong with it, I just hated the idea of sending Emily to daycare. The ratio is 4:1, and it breaks my heart to think that Emily will just be ignored during parts of the day. If 2 or 3 babies are crying or needing attention, Emily will just be put on the floor and expected to just do her own thing with no one to play with her. This kills me. I don't want Emily to be left alone. I think that if she were older and could walk around and play with toys on her own, I wouldn't be so sad. But the fact that she's so young and still so dependent on people, that turns me off to daycare. We also interviewed our first nanny this weekend, and again - I got really sad. She's not going to love and care for Emily the way I do. It's so hard to find someone who can replace you. Figuring out childcare is one of the most stressful things to have to decide - especially bc it is the saddest thing you have to decide. I prayed super hard this week to try to win the lottery so that Sy and I could both stay home and watch Emily grow up. But alas, I did not win. And I'm back to trying to find solutions for Emily. I know everything will work out, but man ... I will really miss her so much.
I hope we find a good option for her, and I hope that God will give me the peace to know that she will be in good hands and will still love her mom even if she only sees me an hour a day.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
It's NOT my party, but I'll cry if I want to anyway - Week 21 Observations
Last week was a BIG week for Emily. We started sleep training! It kind of happened by accident. As I had mentioned, Emily has been especially sensitive with Sy lately. For some reason, at night, she cries extra hard with him - especially when putting her down to sleep. So on Tues night, Emily was crying up a storm, and he just gave up. He said, "Fine! If you're going to cry this hard, you might as well cry yourself to sleep!" And interestingly, she stopped crying when he put her down in her crib. It was almost as if she would rather lie in her crib than to be held by Sy. And after about 40 min of lying there, whining here and there, she fell asleep!
So the next day, I decided that it was important to continue what he had started, and I started to sleep train her naps as well. I had mentally told myself for weeks that I couldn't sleep train her by myself during the day. I wouldn't be able to handle the crying by myself and that I would need Sy to help distract me and prevent me from going in there. But I decided to be strong, and just do it by myself anyway bc I didn't want her to get confused with sleep training. So I did it. I told myself, I will sing her a song like usual, and rock her for no more than 5 minutes. I will wait until she gets sleepy, but put her down awake. And when I did it, she didn't really cry! She kind of whined a bit, but after 15 minutes, she fell asleep! I was so amazed!
Another important thing was that I wanted to see if she would sleep longer than 40 min. Her 40 min sleep cycles have been so frustrating bc I had no idea if she actually wanted more sleep than 40 min or if she just had too much trouble falling back asleep after 40 min. So after she woke up in 40 min, I left her there, and waited her out to see if she would fall back asleep and want more sleep - and she did! She took about 15-20 min to fall back asleep, but when she did, she slept long!
It was a pretty interesting week! Day 1, Emily slept a lot - meaning several 1.5-2hour naps. Day 2, Emily went back to sleeping 40 min at a time. Day 3, she slept a lot again. I couldn't figure out what her pattern was going to be like, but I knew that with a little bit of time as her body adjusted, a pattern would emerge. But either way, each day, she was getting better and better at falling asleep, and was waking up less at night to cry.
On Saturday, we had to go to a bbq at a friend's house down by Newark. I was worried about Emily during the car ride bc she hates car rides, but she didn't cry once! I think Emily is finally getting better about the car! Hooray! This gives me hope that maybe we will finally be able to start going places again. The only thing is, she still doesn't sleep in the car. So after 1 hour of driving, she finally fell asleep for the last 30 min of the drive. Good thing she slept then bc she did not sleep the rest of the day. We tried to continue sleep training her at this friend's house, but it must have been too foreign to her. She couldn't fall asleep and would cry and cry. First time, I let her cry 45 min, and the 2nd attempt, I let her cry for 30 min. It really killed me to hear her cry bc I knew it was partially bc she was scared. She was in some foreign room, and her mom and dad were not there at all. How scary must that be - of course she wasn't going to fall asleep! In the end, we felt so bad for her for not sleeping all day that we left the bbq early to take her home. Once we got home, she fell asleep so fast.
On Sunday, we took Emily to another dohl party at the end of the day. We thought that maybe this would be the ideal time for Emily to go to a party bc it was during her witching hour. But it turns out, we were wrong! Emily likes to take a short cat nap around 5pm, so bc she was out, she couldn't get her nap in. On top of that, the restaurant was very loud, and she doesn't like loud places. So she was so miserable! Emily is usually such a champ when we take her out. No matter how tired she is, she just hangs out just fine. But for the first time, she was not a happy camper. She actually cried! She cried bc she was miserable. And when I took her outside for a small break, she was calm bc it was finally quiet. It's so interesting how she's changing. I guess, now, she knows how to complain and she's not content to just do whatever we drag her to, but will actually voice her opinion and say I want to go home! We did take her home, and she slept very soundly.
It feels like Emily is growing up in the blink of an eye. She's getting kind of close to sitting up by herself. She can do it for a few seconds as long as her hands are supporting her. She also has been getting a little better at pushing the buttons herself for her toy. I once found her after a nap completely having turned 180 degrees in her crib. It's almost as if she turned 5 months and was like I'm a big girl now! Check it out! I wish I could slow down time. I go back to work in a month, and I feel like I'm going to miss out on so many of these little developments. What am I going to do?? I really hate America's maternity policy right now. If only we could be like Canada and have an entire year off. Sigh... in the meantime, I'm going to savor and cherish every second I can.
So the next day, I decided that it was important to continue what he had started, and I started to sleep train her naps as well. I had mentally told myself for weeks that I couldn't sleep train her by myself during the day. I wouldn't be able to handle the crying by myself and that I would need Sy to help distract me and prevent me from going in there. But I decided to be strong, and just do it by myself anyway bc I didn't want her to get confused with sleep training. So I did it. I told myself, I will sing her a song like usual, and rock her for no more than 5 minutes. I will wait until she gets sleepy, but put her down awake. And when I did it, she didn't really cry! She kind of whined a bit, but after 15 minutes, she fell asleep! I was so amazed!
Another important thing was that I wanted to see if she would sleep longer than 40 min. Her 40 min sleep cycles have been so frustrating bc I had no idea if she actually wanted more sleep than 40 min or if she just had too much trouble falling back asleep after 40 min. So after she woke up in 40 min, I left her there, and waited her out to see if she would fall back asleep and want more sleep - and she did! She took about 15-20 min to fall back asleep, but when she did, she slept long!
It was a pretty interesting week! Day 1, Emily slept a lot - meaning several 1.5-2hour naps. Day 2, Emily went back to sleeping 40 min at a time. Day 3, she slept a lot again. I couldn't figure out what her pattern was going to be like, but I knew that with a little bit of time as her body adjusted, a pattern would emerge. But either way, each day, she was getting better and better at falling asleep, and was waking up less at night to cry.
On Saturday, we had to go to a bbq at a friend's house down by Newark. I was worried about Emily during the car ride bc she hates car rides, but she didn't cry once! I think Emily is finally getting better about the car! Hooray! This gives me hope that maybe we will finally be able to start going places again. The only thing is, she still doesn't sleep in the car. So after 1 hour of driving, she finally fell asleep for the last 30 min of the drive. Good thing she slept then bc she did not sleep the rest of the day. We tried to continue sleep training her at this friend's house, but it must have been too foreign to her. She couldn't fall asleep and would cry and cry. First time, I let her cry 45 min, and the 2nd attempt, I let her cry for 30 min. It really killed me to hear her cry bc I knew it was partially bc she was scared. She was in some foreign room, and her mom and dad were not there at all. How scary must that be - of course she wasn't going to fall asleep! In the end, we felt so bad for her for not sleeping all day that we left the bbq early to take her home. Once we got home, she fell asleep so fast.
On Sunday, we took Emily to another dohl party at the end of the day. We thought that maybe this would be the ideal time for Emily to go to a party bc it was during her witching hour. But it turns out, we were wrong! Emily likes to take a short cat nap around 5pm, so bc she was out, she couldn't get her nap in. On top of that, the restaurant was very loud, and she doesn't like loud places. So she was so miserable! Emily is usually such a champ when we take her out. No matter how tired she is, she just hangs out just fine. But for the first time, she was not a happy camper. She actually cried! She cried bc she was miserable. And when I took her outside for a small break, she was calm bc it was finally quiet. It's so interesting how she's changing. I guess, now, she knows how to complain and she's not content to just do whatever we drag her to, but will actually voice her opinion and say I want to go home! We did take her home, and she slept very soundly.
It feels like Emily is growing up in the blink of an eye. She's getting kind of close to sitting up by herself. She can do it for a few seconds as long as her hands are supporting her. She also has been getting a little better at pushing the buttons herself for her toy. I once found her after a nap completely having turned 180 degrees in her crib. It's almost as if she turned 5 months and was like I'm a big girl now! Check it out! I wish I could slow down time. I go back to work in a month, and I feel like I'm going to miss out on so many of these little developments. What am I going to do?? I really hate America's maternity policy right now. If only we could be like Canada and have an entire year off. Sigh... in the meantime, I'm going to savor and cherish every second I can.
Monday, July 9, 2018
Sleep deprivation is the highest form of torture - Week 20 Observations
I gotta say - this was a hard week. On Mon and Tues, Emily was SOOO hard. She wouldn't sleep for more than 40 min each nap session. But because I knew she was tired from her lack of sleep, I would keep on trying to put her back to sleep. Unfortunately, after 20 min of hard rocking, she would sleep for 10 min, and then I'd start all over again, just for another 10 min of sleep. It was so bad. I was so mad at her. I wanted to do nothing but throw her in crib and be like FINE! YOU SLEEP YOURSELF! It was pretty bad. My anger had reached a ceiling. I was so mad at her that I decided that it was time to sleep train her. I wasn't going to continue this ridiculously exhausting pattern bc my legs, feet, and back were killing me. Even Sy was surprised by my change in tune.
Last week was the 4th of July, so we went to sleep over Sy's cousin's house in NJ. I was still pretty furious with Emily when we got to their house, and Sy's sister laughed as she was proud that I had finally reached a breaking point bc she had been advocating sleep training for a while, but I was too soft to do it.
On a side note- Emily hates car rides. She cries and cries and that's why we try not to take her anywhere too far. But it was an hour and 20 min car ride for her. And me, still being angry with her, was fine to let her cry in the car. In some ways, I had wanted her to cry just so I could feel some vengeance for the past 2 days. (Man, I was so angry with her)
Emily slept relatively fine that night, but because we were all sharing a room, when Sy and I crept into the room at 2am, we woke her up and had to rock her back to sleep. That led to her not getting good sleep, and she woke up at 5am, in which we had to rock her back to sleep, and then woke up again and again until about 6:30am. She finally slept from 6:30am - 7:30am. Sy and I were exhausted.
On a highlight - we got to take Emily into a pool for the first time! Sy's sister had gotten matching rash guards for Emily and her cousin, so they were super adorable in their matching shirts and hats. And we were so proud of Emily for not crying in the pool! She seemed totally fine with it! What a relief! I was afraid she'd be a fearful baby and not want to go in, but I'm glad she's a brave one. She was so curious about everything.
Back to Emily's sleep - she again slept only 40 min at a time, and was so cranky from being tired. By the time we got home, she was so exhausted and fell asleep pretty quickly. But unfortunately, the fireworks were so loud, they woke her up and she woke up several times that night.
We did our best to give her a good day of rest on Thurs and Friday so she could fix her sleep pattern, but it didn't really work. On Friday, we had to get a passport for Emily, so she missed another nap, and therefore didn't get to sleep as well as we would've hoped.
On Sat, Emily suddenly started sleeping great, and slept super long all morning. We had plans to go meet friends at a beer garden that afternoon, and wondered if we should just stay in since she was finally getting some sleep. But selfishly, we decided to go. It ended up being super loud there and Emily couldn't fall asleep and got really cranky. After an hour and half, I decided to just take her home and sleep her there. She ended up sleeping another hour and I was so happy for her.
Then Sy's friends decided to come over to our house and leave the babies with me and one other girl. And that turned out to be the biggest mistake ever. There were 2 toddlers in our house + Emily. This was a bad combination bc we were outnumbered. When I tried to put Emily down for bed around 8pm, she kept waking up to the other 2 toddlers yelling and to the loud bang sounds she heard. I ended up putting Emily down after 40 min straight of rocking. Then, she woke up again and again bc the toddlers would cry and she would wake up freaked out, or hear loud bang sounds and wake up again. I bet she was scared bc she would be in this dark room, hear a loud sound or crying, and be like HELP! I'm alone and scared! I felt so bad for the girl. This continued a whole bunch of more times until Sy came home around 10:30pm. He then tried to put her down for 30 min and couldn't do it. So I went and put her down. And then she woke up again at 12:30am and 5am. It was such a bad night for her. The poor girl got so little sleep compared to her usual 11 hours.
We then spent all of Sunday trying to sleep her as best as we could. She was so tired that she slept well all morning and even decently throughout the afternoon. I felt so much hope that she would be able to fix all this bad sleep debt and get a good night's rest. But instead, she ended up having a terrible night of sleep again. She could NOT fall asleep for the life of her - even after an hour of putting her to sleep. And then she woke up again at 9:30pm, 10:30pm, and 11pm. Sy got so angry with her that he tried to sleep train her right then and there.
I am so stressed about her sleep debt. I want so badly to correct her sleep so that A) she will get adequate sleep and B) she will stop being so difficult to sleep. It's so frustrating that 1 bad day/night of sleep can takes days to fix. It makes me never want to go out EVER. But we can't live such a boring life! Oh the dilemma. Let's pray that I can fix her sleep this week. We are not going anywhere at all!
Last week was the 4th of July, so we went to sleep over Sy's cousin's house in NJ. I was still pretty furious with Emily when we got to their house, and Sy's sister laughed as she was proud that I had finally reached a breaking point bc she had been advocating sleep training for a while, but I was too soft to do it.
On a side note- Emily hates car rides. She cries and cries and that's why we try not to take her anywhere too far. But it was an hour and 20 min car ride for her. And me, still being angry with her, was fine to let her cry in the car. In some ways, I had wanted her to cry just so I could feel some vengeance for the past 2 days. (Man, I was so angry with her)
Emily slept relatively fine that night, but because we were all sharing a room, when Sy and I crept into the room at 2am, we woke her up and had to rock her back to sleep. That led to her not getting good sleep, and she woke up at 5am, in which we had to rock her back to sleep, and then woke up again and again until about 6:30am. She finally slept from 6:30am - 7:30am. Sy and I were exhausted.
On a highlight - we got to take Emily into a pool for the first time! Sy's sister had gotten matching rash guards for Emily and her cousin, so they were super adorable in their matching shirts and hats. And we were so proud of Emily for not crying in the pool! She seemed totally fine with it! What a relief! I was afraid she'd be a fearful baby and not want to go in, but I'm glad she's a brave one. She was so curious about everything.
Back to Emily's sleep - she again slept only 40 min at a time, and was so cranky from being tired. By the time we got home, she was so exhausted and fell asleep pretty quickly. But unfortunately, the fireworks were so loud, they woke her up and she woke up several times that night.
We did our best to give her a good day of rest on Thurs and Friday so she could fix her sleep pattern, but it didn't really work. On Friday, we had to get a passport for Emily, so she missed another nap, and therefore didn't get to sleep as well as we would've hoped.
On Sat, Emily suddenly started sleeping great, and slept super long all morning. We had plans to go meet friends at a beer garden that afternoon, and wondered if we should just stay in since she was finally getting some sleep. But selfishly, we decided to go. It ended up being super loud there and Emily couldn't fall asleep and got really cranky. After an hour and half, I decided to just take her home and sleep her there. She ended up sleeping another hour and I was so happy for her.
Then Sy's friends decided to come over to our house and leave the babies with me and one other girl. And that turned out to be the biggest mistake ever. There were 2 toddlers in our house + Emily. This was a bad combination bc we were outnumbered. When I tried to put Emily down for bed around 8pm, she kept waking up to the other 2 toddlers yelling and to the loud bang sounds she heard. I ended up putting Emily down after 40 min straight of rocking. Then, she woke up again and again bc the toddlers would cry and she would wake up freaked out, or hear loud bang sounds and wake up again. I bet she was scared bc she would be in this dark room, hear a loud sound or crying, and be like HELP! I'm alone and scared! I felt so bad for the girl. This continued a whole bunch of more times until Sy came home around 10:30pm. He then tried to put her down for 30 min and couldn't do it. So I went and put her down. And then she woke up again at 12:30am and 5am. It was such a bad night for her. The poor girl got so little sleep compared to her usual 11 hours.
We then spent all of Sunday trying to sleep her as best as we could. She was so tired that she slept well all morning and even decently throughout the afternoon. I felt so much hope that she would be able to fix all this bad sleep debt and get a good night's rest. But instead, she ended up having a terrible night of sleep again. She could NOT fall asleep for the life of her - even after an hour of putting her to sleep. And then she woke up again at 9:30pm, 10:30pm, and 11pm. Sy got so angry with her that he tried to sleep train her right then and there.
I am so stressed about her sleep debt. I want so badly to correct her sleep so that A) she will get adequate sleep and B) she will stop being so difficult to sleep. It's so frustrating that 1 bad day/night of sleep can takes days to fix. It makes me never want to go out EVER. But we can't live such a boring life! Oh the dilemma. Let's pray that I can fix her sleep this week. We are not going anywhere at all!
Friday, July 6, 2018
Here comes the mom - Week 19 Observations
This was a slow week for new developments. But I will say, this was a sad week for poo. Emily didn't poo for 3 days straight, and when she finally had to go, she would cry hard as she was trying to push it out. It was so sad to see. Her tears and pain and frustration were so real, and yet we were completely helpless to help her at all. There was nothing we could do except try to stimulate her butt or just hold her as she cried. I felt really bad because I had wondered if she had stopped pooping bc I had stopped giving her breast milk. It was eerily a coincidence that she stopped pooping the same week I had finally weaned off pumping. And the worst part? It happened again! She didn't poo for 3 days straight again, and Sy told me that she cried so hard she was shaking. Man, baby constipation is so hard - literally and figuratively.
This week was an interesting week bc I had a lot of plans. Thurs night, I had to go into the city for a mini bachelorette. Sy had to stay home from work so I could get to the city on time for the festivities. It was the first time I had an alcoholic drink in a year - and man, I could not handle it whatsoever. For some strange reason, throughout my entire pregnancy, I craved sangria really bad. So I finally had my first glass of sangria at dinner, and it tasted so good. But after only 1/4 of the cup, I started feeling the effects hard. First, I turned red as a beet and was super hot. Then I got really sleepy. Then I got really nauseous and felt sick. I almost decided to go home bc I felt so sick. But thankfully the alcohol wore off gradually and I was able to stay out a little longer.
Friday night, we brought Emily to a rehearsal dinner. And Saturday, I had to stand in a wedding as the maid of honor. I had to leave my house at 7:30am. Basically, I was leaving Emily for the first time all day long. I wasn't going to see her the rest of the day and night. I had been looking forward to this day for months - this was going to be my first real day off. And yet, I got sad to leave her. I cried a little saying goodbye to her in the morning, and missed her all day! It's so crazy how you can be so tired of watching your baby day in and day out, but then when you leave them, it's the saddest day ever. Poor Sy had never watched Emily this long without me, so he was pretty nervous. The sad part is that Emily basically got no sleep. Ever since Sy went to Vegas, Emily has been crying even harder when Sy tries to put her to sleep. So as a result, she just would not sleep with Sy all day - 40 min here and there. I was so worried for her! Sy had to drop off Emily at his sister's so he could come and attend the wedding as well. So I worried again that she would get no sleep bc she was in a foreign place and wouldn't fall asleep. Thankfully, she slept decently there! When Sy and I picked her up around midnight, we were able to successfully transfer her from the bassinet to the car seat, drive home, and put her in her own crib all without waking up! I was so proud of her!
After 3 days of poor sleep (Thurs she missed a nap bc Sy took her to see his parents, Friday the rehearsal dinner, and Sat with Sy), we decided to give her a nice, quiet day on Sunday. She slept more thankfully!
All in all, I found it to be an interesting week. I learned that taking a day off or even a night off is so much coordination for a mom. If Sy takes a night off, it's no big deal - business as usual. But when I take a night off, Sy has to take off work, I have to leave instructions on what to do, and sleep issues ensue. On the one hand, it makes me proud to know that Emily is in good hands when it's just me and her - I've become a capable mom! On the other hand, it makes me feel like moms are so invaluable that it sort of becomes like entrapment.
In the meantime, let's hope the poo starts flowing more regularly again!
This week was an interesting week bc I had a lot of plans. Thurs night, I had to go into the city for a mini bachelorette. Sy had to stay home from work so I could get to the city on time for the festivities. It was the first time I had an alcoholic drink in a year - and man, I could not handle it whatsoever. For some strange reason, throughout my entire pregnancy, I craved sangria really bad. So I finally had my first glass of sangria at dinner, and it tasted so good. But after only 1/4 of the cup, I started feeling the effects hard. First, I turned red as a beet and was super hot. Then I got really sleepy. Then I got really nauseous and felt sick. I almost decided to go home bc I felt so sick. But thankfully the alcohol wore off gradually and I was able to stay out a little longer.
Friday night, we brought Emily to a rehearsal dinner. And Saturday, I had to stand in a wedding as the maid of honor. I had to leave my house at 7:30am. Basically, I was leaving Emily for the first time all day long. I wasn't going to see her the rest of the day and night. I had been looking forward to this day for months - this was going to be my first real day off. And yet, I got sad to leave her. I cried a little saying goodbye to her in the morning, and missed her all day! It's so crazy how you can be so tired of watching your baby day in and day out, but then when you leave them, it's the saddest day ever. Poor Sy had never watched Emily this long without me, so he was pretty nervous. The sad part is that Emily basically got no sleep. Ever since Sy went to Vegas, Emily has been crying even harder when Sy tries to put her to sleep. So as a result, she just would not sleep with Sy all day - 40 min here and there. I was so worried for her! Sy had to drop off Emily at his sister's so he could come and attend the wedding as well. So I worried again that she would get no sleep bc she was in a foreign place and wouldn't fall asleep. Thankfully, she slept decently there! When Sy and I picked her up around midnight, we were able to successfully transfer her from the bassinet to the car seat, drive home, and put her in her own crib all without waking up! I was so proud of her!
After 3 days of poor sleep (Thurs she missed a nap bc Sy took her to see his parents, Friday the rehearsal dinner, and Sat with Sy), we decided to give her a nice, quiet day on Sunday. She slept more thankfully!
All in all, I found it to be an interesting week. I learned that taking a day off or even a night off is so much coordination for a mom. If Sy takes a night off, it's no big deal - business as usual. But when I take a night off, Sy has to take off work, I have to leave instructions on what to do, and sleep issues ensue. On the one hand, it makes me proud to know that Emily is in good hands when it's just me and her - I've become a capable mom! On the other hand, it makes me feel like moms are so invaluable that it sort of becomes like entrapment.
In the meantime, let's hope the poo starts flowing more regularly again!
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