Last week was a fun week for the family. Emily developed so much, and it was super nice having Sy home for most of it bc of Thanksgiving weekend.
The biggest update is that Emily is crawling so fast now! She's still doing her injured soldier crawl, but it's like she's learned to live with her handicap and is now super fast in her funny way. In the past, Emily didn't venture past the play mat, but last week, she started going places! She now crawls all over the house. If she can't see me, then she will come and find! One time, she found me just by following the sound of my voice! She crawls down the hall, she crawls into rooms, she crawls everywhere. It's super adorable to see and I'm really loving this fun phase!
Emily has learned a new trick! When we give her snacks, which we call kka kka, I like to put one in my hand. I show her both my hands, and then I close them into fists and turn my hands over. I ask her, which hand is the kka kka in? and she grabs the hand with the cheerio/puff inside! I'm so proud of her for this! I know she's not some genius baby, but at least she's not an idiot! Hahaha! It's so fun teaching tricks to babies. Emily is definitely not one for tricks, but at least she's gained this one. I think she has FINALLY mastered high-five. But even that, she only does it with people she likes. SMH.
Emily has gotten so much stronger with her standing up. We saw her pull herself up into a standing position using our ottoman twice! This also means that I can no longer leave her in a laundry basket when I need to pee bc she will pull herself up and then topple over bc the laundry basket is too lightweight.
I forgot to mention last week that Emily LOVES Alexa. She now knows that the magical robot Alexa sits on my nightstand and when we call her name, she lights up and talks to us. It's so funny to see her enthralled by Alexa. Whenever I sit her on our bed, she immediately crawls toward Alexa and tries to talk to her. So then when I say Alexa!, she looks at me and smiles bc she knows something fun is about to happen. It's so cute how she tries to talk to Alexa herself. It's her favorite robot!
In a sad development, Emily no longer drinks milk well. I don't know if it's in conjunction with the fact that she was sick, but she just won't drink her milk anymore. She used to drink 4oz easily per feeding. Now, I can barely get her to finish 2 oz. It's been a real struggle to get her to drink milk, so I end up mixing it in with oatmeal as much as I can so she still gets the nutrients she needs. She eats a TON of solids. So I've been wondering if this new change has to do with her sickness or if she just loves solids that much. Either way, I have not been happy with this change in her diet.
Related to things I don't like, Emily was a screaming monster last week. I think it was related to being sick, but she kept on screaming at the top of her lungs every time she was frustrated - which was a LOT. I've resorted to wearing noise-cancelling headphones when I'm around her so I can protect my ears. I legit can feel a ringing in my ears after she screams. It's been AWFUL.
Last week was Thanksgiving and it was nice that we got to see a lot of family and friends. We had Thanksgiving dinner at Sy's cousin's house in NJ on Thurs night. Emily is so loved. And even though she had her usual stranger danger when people tried to take her, she did relatively okay and warmed up to people after a few hours. We did Thankskgiving again on Friday with my family at our house. Man, it's so nice when you can host your own events so that Emily can sleep whenever she is ready. We went to a bar on Sat to meet up with friends, and again, Emily did great! She skipped a nap, but was still in good spirits and only screamed twice at the end. On Sunday, my cousin from Korea was visiting and wanted to do dinner in the city. We've never taken Emily to the city so late in the day, and we were apprehensive about how it would go. But it was okay! Emily was antsy as usual since she couldn't roam around and play, but she survived being out so late and handled it like a champ! This gave me and Sy a lot of hope that maybe we can start enjoying the city again if we drive out on Sunday nights!
It was a busy week of developments and fun! I was sad to see the weekend come to an end bc it would be back to me and Emily alone all day. But at least we got to enjoy ourselves and our time as a family!
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
In Sickness and In Health - a vow to our baby - Week 38 Observations
Last week was a pretty busy week. I had to go on an interview and it was also Sy's birthday. It's crazy how much harder things are to do when you have a baby.
Because I had an interview on a Wed, Sy had to take a day off from work in order to stay home and watch Emily. And then Thurs, Sy's birthday, I spent every single minute of Emily's naps to prep for the family dinner I was making. It was exhausting not having a single break to just sit down and relax. The party ended up getting cancelled, but I didn't feel sad or frustrated that I had wasted the day cooking and not working on finding a job. I was happy bc we got to spend Sy's birthday just the 3 of us - a first birthday for either of us as a parent. Sy said he was so happy to just be with his girls. Again, another reminder of how different life is when you have a baby. He was content to just see Emily wear a special outfit for his birthday and have a big smile on her face. No need for fanfare - just our little family.
The biggest update for this week was that Emily got her first real cold. She started having a runny nose on Friday, but she seemed fine mostly. I thought maybe it was just one of her weird nose issues like she had in the summer - when it was constantly stuffy. But then by Sat, I started noticing that I felt sick. And then Sunday, Sy and I were both full-blown sick. We must have gotten it from Emily bc that girl just rubs her face all over you and you end up covered in mucus. Plus, Emily loves to stick her fingers in my mouth. So obviously, I was going to be the first to get sick.
Luckily, Emily has been such a good girl despite being sick. She seems to still have her normal amount of energy. She's still smiley and happy. The only difference has been that she has been shrieking at the top of her lungs if she's frustrated or unhappy. It's been legitimately painful to listen to. My ears physically hurt from the loudness and shrillness of it. I genuinely hope this is a phase and will end once the cold has left her body.
Overall, Sy and I have never been so painfully aware of how difficult it is to care for a child when you're sick. On Sunday, we both felt so crappy. Weak, fatigued, sore-throated, no energy - and yet we had to take care of our energetic and somewhat miserable baby. All we wanted to do was lie down and rest for ourselves, but we couldn't. You always see those commercials where parents tell their kids, hey, I'm taking a sick day today. And it's funny bc it's not realistic. But we lived it. And boy, is it realistic. I wanted so badly to just drop Emily off at his mom's and just lie down in bed. This should be a thing - get free babysitting when you're sick. We should look into developing this.
In other news, Emily has been working on her standing. She wants to stand so badly that she's constantly trying to get up. The only problem is that she doesn't know how to. She usually burrows her head into your body to try to get her legs in the standing position. But then she doesn't know how to get the rest of her body upright. It's funny to watch her learn. She's getting pretty good at pulling herself up when she's in the seated position. Just not when she's lying down on her belly.
Other than that, it's been life as usual for Emily and for us. While it was a busy week bc of interviews and Sy's birthday, the days still feel so long as I'm with Emily all day. On Sat night, Sy and I got our first real date night for his birthday. This was our first date night that wasn't a wedding or a concert. But by the time we left his sister's house at 8:30pm after putting Emily down, we were just so exhausted. We went to go get korean bbq bc that's one food you really can't eat out with when you have a baby. We had thought that maybe we could go watch a movie afterwards, but then we cancelled that idea bc we would get back to his sister's way too late. I had suggested we get a nice dessert bc that's also something we haven't been able to do with a baby. But by the time dinner was over, we were so stuffed and so tired that we just wanted to go home and sleep. It was literally an hour and a half. We ended up getting decaf coffee and an ice cream from Dunkin Donuts and sat in the parking lot of Burger King to eat it. That alone was nice bc we didn't have a screaming Emily in the backseat to worry about. Man, what a difference a baby makes. Our simple pleasures now would seem so bleak to our non-baby selves.
Here's to hoping we all survive this first family cold quickly!
Because I had an interview on a Wed, Sy had to take a day off from work in order to stay home and watch Emily. And then Thurs, Sy's birthday, I spent every single minute of Emily's naps to prep for the family dinner I was making. It was exhausting not having a single break to just sit down and relax. The party ended up getting cancelled, but I didn't feel sad or frustrated that I had wasted the day cooking and not working on finding a job. I was happy bc we got to spend Sy's birthday just the 3 of us - a first birthday for either of us as a parent. Sy said he was so happy to just be with his girls. Again, another reminder of how different life is when you have a baby. He was content to just see Emily wear a special outfit for his birthday and have a big smile on her face. No need for fanfare - just our little family.
The biggest update for this week was that Emily got her first real cold. She started having a runny nose on Friday, but she seemed fine mostly. I thought maybe it was just one of her weird nose issues like she had in the summer - when it was constantly stuffy. But then by Sat, I started noticing that I felt sick. And then Sunday, Sy and I were both full-blown sick. We must have gotten it from Emily bc that girl just rubs her face all over you and you end up covered in mucus. Plus, Emily loves to stick her fingers in my mouth. So obviously, I was going to be the first to get sick.
Luckily, Emily has been such a good girl despite being sick. She seems to still have her normal amount of energy. She's still smiley and happy. The only difference has been that she has been shrieking at the top of her lungs if she's frustrated or unhappy. It's been legitimately painful to listen to. My ears physically hurt from the loudness and shrillness of it. I genuinely hope this is a phase and will end once the cold has left her body.
Overall, Sy and I have never been so painfully aware of how difficult it is to care for a child when you're sick. On Sunday, we both felt so crappy. Weak, fatigued, sore-throated, no energy - and yet we had to take care of our energetic and somewhat miserable baby. All we wanted to do was lie down and rest for ourselves, but we couldn't. You always see those commercials where parents tell their kids, hey, I'm taking a sick day today. And it's funny bc it's not realistic. But we lived it. And boy, is it realistic. I wanted so badly to just drop Emily off at his mom's and just lie down in bed. This should be a thing - get free babysitting when you're sick. We should look into developing this.
In other news, Emily has been working on her standing. She wants to stand so badly that she's constantly trying to get up. The only problem is that she doesn't know how to. She usually burrows her head into your body to try to get her legs in the standing position. But then she doesn't know how to get the rest of her body upright. It's funny to watch her learn. She's getting pretty good at pulling herself up when she's in the seated position. Just not when she's lying down on her belly.
Other than that, it's been life as usual for Emily and for us. While it was a busy week bc of interviews and Sy's birthday, the days still feel so long as I'm with Emily all day. On Sat night, Sy and I got our first real date night for his birthday. This was our first date night that wasn't a wedding or a concert. But by the time we left his sister's house at 8:30pm after putting Emily down, we were just so exhausted. We went to go get korean bbq bc that's one food you really can't eat out with when you have a baby. We had thought that maybe we could go watch a movie afterwards, but then we cancelled that idea bc we would get back to his sister's way too late. I had suggested we get a nice dessert bc that's also something we haven't been able to do with a baby. But by the time dinner was over, we were so stuffed and so tired that we just wanted to go home and sleep. It was literally an hour and a half. We ended up getting decaf coffee and an ice cream from Dunkin Donuts and sat in the parking lot of Burger King to eat it. That alone was nice bc we didn't have a screaming Emily in the backseat to worry about. Man, what a difference a baby makes. Our simple pleasures now would seem so bleak to our non-baby selves.
Here's to hoping we all survive this first family cold quickly!
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
When it rains, it pours - Weeks 36+37 Observations
It's been a really crazy 2 weeks over here and I haven't had a chance to write any updates. It's hard for me to even remember Emily's developments over the past 2 weeks.
Halloween came and went. We didn't end up dressing Emily in a costume bc we figured we weren't going anywhere, so why spend the money on a costume just for 5 minutes of photos? I now regret this decision, and I wish I had gotten her a costume anyway. She would've been so cute! Why was I so cheap??
The past 2 weeks have been so hard. On Nov 1, I was laid off from my job. We all knew layoffs were coming, but when it actually happened to me, I was so shocked. As soon as I got the call from HR to ask me to come down, I knew it was me. It was devastating. I spent about 1 hour packing up my desk and 1 hour saying goodbye. I had been with NBC for 6 years - almost 7. It was surreal to know that I wasn't going to come back.
I've been in a state of shock and somewhat depression since it happened. I cried heavily for about 24 hours straight. Every time I talked about it, I couldn't help but cry. The crazy part is that even though I wanted so much to grieve and wallow in my sadness, you can't do that when you have a baby. You just have to put on a smile and keep on taking care of your baby. Babies don't care if you're sad or not. They still need you to take care of them and play with them. If anything, Emily is LOVING having her mom back at home. She seems extra clingy these days - always wanting to be in my lap or my arms. Maybe she thinks I might leave her again. Who knows? But right now, she is loving having it just be me and her again. The thing is, everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy this time with Emily. But it's easier said than done. You would think that I would just go back to the joy I felt when I was on maternity. But it's just not the same. I still feel sadness of having been laid off. I feel like an unproductive, useless person in society who has no job and no title. And not that I have anything against stay at home moms - it's simply bc I was not given that choice - I am forced to stay at home. The other part though is the growing fear inside me. When I was sitting in the HR office, I felt fine for the first 10 min. It was only when they started talking about my benefits ending, that I realized that Emily is under my insurance. And that's when the panic began. How would Emily survive with no insurance? What if something happens to her and we can't afford treatment? And then more panic flooded in as I thought about how we would survive financially on 1 income. Would Emily have to suffer a little bit? I never imagined that I would ever not be able to provide her everything she wanted or needed. Would we have to become more frugal? It freaked me out. Everything is heightened when you have a baby. The stakes are higher. I can live my life eating ramen to save money - but not Emily. Everyday, I'm trying to grow my faith that God will take care of us. But it's a scary time of uncertainty. And anyone who knows me knows that I don't like uncertainty. I like to be prepared for everything. This is the first time I don't feel prepared.
On top of this sadness, Sy's grandmother passed away last week. She was 101 - almost 102. We knew she was going to pass soon, but it still comes with the shock of grief. She passed away last Wed, Nov 7. Sy, Emily, and I went to the hospital on Wed morning bc Sy's dad had called to say that it might be today. When we got there, we saw his grandmother, and after 10 min, she passed away. We all think that Sy's grandma was waiting for him. He was her favorite grandson, and she was waiting to say goodbye to him. After her passing, it was a whirlwind of funeral arrangements, the wake, and the burial. This whole incident has made us think a lot about life and death. One major thought we seem to keep going back to is the fact that despite the sadness we feel over her death, we still feel so much joy bc of Emily. She still makes us smile so much and makes us feel so happy. Even at the funeral, people would always feel better when they saw Emily bc she was so smiley and happy. It's the power of babies - they make the world feel so much better despite so much sorrow. We love her so much and we can't imagine going through this without her.
Emily has been a trooper through it all. We had to leave Emily one night to attend the funeral. Since all of the family was going to be there, we had to leave her with my friend as her babysitter. Emily cried for 45 min bc she couldn't find her mom or dad or really, anyone she knew. She didn't drink any of her milk, and just went to sleep with solids. It broke my heart to know that she was probably scared bc she couldn't find her parents anywhere. And it broke my heart to know that she was so sad that she couldn't even drink her milk. But she went to sleep like a champ, and fell asleep within 10 min by herself.
Emily was a trooper the next day bc we couldn't find a sitter. So we had to bring Emily to the burial. She didn't get to nap much, but she kept pushing through and staying awake when we needed her to. I brought lots of snacks for her, and that helped keep her happy.
It's been a tough time for the Sung family. Both Sy and I are still sad and grieving in our different ways. We are putting our trust in God that He will provide for our little family, and that we will all be okay. We are happy that Sy's grandmother is in a better place, and that she got to meet Emily a few times before she passed. We are eagerly awaiting for good news to come our way and bring more joy back to our lives. In the meantime, we are giving thanks as best as we can.
Halloween came and went. We didn't end up dressing Emily in a costume bc we figured we weren't going anywhere, so why spend the money on a costume just for 5 minutes of photos? I now regret this decision, and I wish I had gotten her a costume anyway. She would've been so cute! Why was I so cheap??
The past 2 weeks have been so hard. On Nov 1, I was laid off from my job. We all knew layoffs were coming, but when it actually happened to me, I was so shocked. As soon as I got the call from HR to ask me to come down, I knew it was me. It was devastating. I spent about 1 hour packing up my desk and 1 hour saying goodbye. I had been with NBC for 6 years - almost 7. It was surreal to know that I wasn't going to come back.
I've been in a state of shock and somewhat depression since it happened. I cried heavily for about 24 hours straight. Every time I talked about it, I couldn't help but cry. The crazy part is that even though I wanted so much to grieve and wallow in my sadness, you can't do that when you have a baby. You just have to put on a smile and keep on taking care of your baby. Babies don't care if you're sad or not. They still need you to take care of them and play with them. If anything, Emily is LOVING having her mom back at home. She seems extra clingy these days - always wanting to be in my lap or my arms. Maybe she thinks I might leave her again. Who knows? But right now, she is loving having it just be me and her again. The thing is, everyone keeps telling me to just enjoy this time with Emily. But it's easier said than done. You would think that I would just go back to the joy I felt when I was on maternity. But it's just not the same. I still feel sadness of having been laid off. I feel like an unproductive, useless person in society who has no job and no title. And not that I have anything against stay at home moms - it's simply bc I was not given that choice - I am forced to stay at home. The other part though is the growing fear inside me. When I was sitting in the HR office, I felt fine for the first 10 min. It was only when they started talking about my benefits ending, that I realized that Emily is under my insurance. And that's when the panic began. How would Emily survive with no insurance? What if something happens to her and we can't afford treatment? And then more panic flooded in as I thought about how we would survive financially on 1 income. Would Emily have to suffer a little bit? I never imagined that I would ever not be able to provide her everything she wanted or needed. Would we have to become more frugal? It freaked me out. Everything is heightened when you have a baby. The stakes are higher. I can live my life eating ramen to save money - but not Emily. Everyday, I'm trying to grow my faith that God will take care of us. But it's a scary time of uncertainty. And anyone who knows me knows that I don't like uncertainty. I like to be prepared for everything. This is the first time I don't feel prepared.
On top of this sadness, Sy's grandmother passed away last week. She was 101 - almost 102. We knew she was going to pass soon, but it still comes with the shock of grief. She passed away last Wed, Nov 7. Sy, Emily, and I went to the hospital on Wed morning bc Sy's dad had called to say that it might be today. When we got there, we saw his grandmother, and after 10 min, she passed away. We all think that Sy's grandma was waiting for him. He was her favorite grandson, and she was waiting to say goodbye to him. After her passing, it was a whirlwind of funeral arrangements, the wake, and the burial. This whole incident has made us think a lot about life and death. One major thought we seem to keep going back to is the fact that despite the sadness we feel over her death, we still feel so much joy bc of Emily. She still makes us smile so much and makes us feel so happy. Even at the funeral, people would always feel better when they saw Emily bc she was so smiley and happy. It's the power of babies - they make the world feel so much better despite so much sorrow. We love her so much and we can't imagine going through this without her.
Emily has been a trooper through it all. We had to leave Emily one night to attend the funeral. Since all of the family was going to be there, we had to leave her with my friend as her babysitter. Emily cried for 45 min bc she couldn't find her mom or dad or really, anyone she knew. She didn't drink any of her milk, and just went to sleep with solids. It broke my heart to know that she was probably scared bc she couldn't find her parents anywhere. And it broke my heart to know that she was so sad that she couldn't even drink her milk. But she went to sleep like a champ, and fell asleep within 10 min by herself.
Emily was a trooper the next day bc we couldn't find a sitter. So we had to bring Emily to the burial. She didn't get to nap much, but she kept pushing through and staying awake when we needed her to. I brought lots of snacks for her, and that helped keep her happy.
It's been a tough time for the Sung family. Both Sy and I are still sad and grieving in our different ways. We are putting our trust in God that He will provide for our little family, and that we will all be okay. We are happy that Sy's grandmother is in a better place, and that she got to meet Emily a few times before she passed. We are eagerly awaiting for good news to come our way and bring more joy back to our lives. In the meantime, we are giving thanks as best as we can.
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