Since the day that we came home from the hospital, taking care of Emily has been a round-the-clock job that has no end. For the past month, we have been living hour to hour, waiting for this little beast to awaken.
I've realized that taking care of a baby feels a lot like the movie/book Hunger Games 2 - Catching Fire. SPOILER ALERT: if you haven't read/seen Hunger Games 2, I'm going to spoil it for you.
In Hunger Games 2, the players learn quickly that the island they're on is based on a clock. Depending on which triangle of the clock you are standing in, you will face a different "monster" to have to defeat or escape (i.e. the poisonous fog, blood rain, etc). As they run through the different hours of the clock, they must defeat/escape the same "monsters" over and over until the game is done.
I feel like raising a baby is a lot like this clock arena!
Hour 1: the fear of waiting for Emily to wake up: You never know when she's going to wake up and how much time we have left to enjoy the quiet. Do we watch another episode on Netflix? Do we try to nap? Do we have time to take a shower? The not-knowing when she's going to wake up can be one of the most stressful questions to have to face.
Hour 2: Emily wakes up and we change her diaper: And so begins the crying as she hates being cold as we take off her onesie. And then the frantic diaper changing begins as we try to be as quick as possible before she scratches up her face with her long nails. And while this is all happening, we pray that she won't projectile poop on my face again, or she doesn't pee or poo on yet another changing pad and wet another onesie - adding to my laundry basket that seems to never be empty.
Hour 3: Feeding Emily. There's actually nothing too stressful about feeding Emily. I find her the most amusing during this time when she's happily gulping away. She makes the cutest little sounds - whether she's drinking too fast and making loud sucking noises, or when she sighs contentedly or even sighs out of exhaustion. (apparently it's hard work to eat!) The only stressful thing about feeding Emily is how she cries so hard when it takes us more than 5 seconds to prepare her bottles. What an impatient little thing!
Hour 4: Putting Emily to sleep: This is the hardest part of the arena. It's a mental game and a physical game. Physically, it gets exhausting holding her for long periods of time trying to get her to fall asleep. I sometimes legit do a full cardio workout the way I have to bounce and swing and rock her to sleep. The guessing game is what kills me the most - is she going to respond to a simple jiggle of my arms? or does she want an aggressive rocking? or does she want the swinging from side to side? or the swinging up and down? which combination is going to be the magic touch to put her to sleep? But on top of all this is the mental game - the uncertainty of how long you're going to be doing this for. Will I be rocking for 5 min or 20 min? Can I stay awake long enough not to drop her (when it's 4:30am)? How long am I going to have to hold my own pee while I wait for her to fall asleep? How long can I hold out before I need to ask Sy to tag me out?
And then when we finally get her to sleep, the clock resets and we're back to Hour 1 - the fear of Emily waking up. Will we need to go back into her room and re-settle her? Do we bother to get comfortable in our bed? How long before she wakes up again?
And the fear settles back in.
And the arena never stops.
Our baby is a Hunger Games competition. Who will win? I'm pretty sure it's her.
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