Emily turned 2 months last week, and it blows my mind how fast time is going by. Most days, I have no idea what the date is, and when people tell me it's the 20th, I am in complete shock. I can't believe 20 days had elapsed since the last time I checked in.
I always thought that everything about this time of raising Emily would stick with me like glue - and I wouldn't forget any details. But it turns out - I'm already forgetting so much! I was texting with another mom friend of mine who just had a baby a month behind us, and she was talking about how her baby sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time. And I said, "Enjoy it while it lasts! Soon, she's going to not be able to stay asleep and you'll miss those days where you could just watch netflix as you waited for her nap to end." And I realized that I totally forgot Emily used to do that - that there WAS a time when she used to be so easy. And I couldn't believe how I had forgotten that! So I've decided that I want to record my weekly observations about Emily before I start to forget them all! I can only start with this week, but it's amazing how much I've forgotten about last week already! =(
Here we go!
1. Emily has been difficult this week because she seems to not be able to stay asleep when I put her down for naps. On Wednesday, I ended up going to get her and soothing her every 15 min. By the end of the day, I was so exhausted bc I had been on my feet all day constantly rocking her, shushing her, and trying to get her to fall asleep.
On Thurs, I was still traumatized by the day before, so I decided I was just going to hold her and let her sleep. As a result, I spent the entire day sitting in Emily's dark room holding her while I just looked at my phone. I spent a total of 1 hour by myself that day (3 intervals of 20 min that I got to pee, eat, and wash pump equipment). That was a really depressing day for me.
On Friday, I tried something different, and I decided to put the boppy on top of Emily when I put her down so it would sort of feel like I was still holding her. The weight of the boppy would be like my arms and body as I held her - AND IT WORKED. Emily slept well all day and didn't need me to go and get her constantly! It was the happiest day ever!
Saturday - Emily went back to crazy and wouldn't sleep at all no matter how much we rocked her, put the boppy on her, or anything. What a crazy girl! We just can't predict what her day is gonna be like!
2. I've realized that I am no longer an interesting person. When Sy comes home at night, I have no interesting stories to tell him. In the past, I would tell him about interesting conversations I had with friends, or cool things I read on the news, etc. But now that I'm home all day with Emily - I have nothing! I don't talk to anyone. I barely get to watch any tv. I have nothing! Some mornings I get to watch Live with Kelly and Ryan - and when I recount stories to Sy about things I heard from the show - he makes fun of me that I even watch this show. And yes, it's kind of sad that I'm watching this show bc I'm not some middle aged woman eating bon bons on the couch (where did that stereotype come from??). But it's all I've got! Man, being a SAHM is kind of tough in this sense.
3. Emily has gotten really cute. She smiles more - especially in the mornings when she's gotten a good night's rest. And it makes me so happy to see her so jolly. It also makes me happy to know that I can make her laugh - that there are tangible things that I can do to actually bring a smile to her face. It's made me realize that this is why people have children - they're just so incredibly cute and irresistable!
4. Sy was able to work from home a lot for the past 2 weeks, so even though he went back to work, it wasn't so bad for me bc it wasn't 5 days straight. But this week, Sy could no longer work from home, and Wed-Fri, it was just me. And now, we're starting to notice that Emily cries hard when Sy puts her to bed. But as soon as I take her, she stops crying. We suspect that she's already gotten used to me putting her down and now she only wants me to do it. Now this has gotten me full of mixed feelings! On the one hand, it's very sweet that she wants her mom, and she feels comforted by me the most. But on the other hand, at the end of every long day of just me and her, I REALLY need a break and need Sy to handle bedtime and weekends so it doesn't feel quite so monotonous. What happened??? Has she already become clingy to me?
It's crazy how much she changes from week to week. If I don't write this down, will I completely forget it all? I hope not! I really do love and cherish all these milestones with her despite my exhaustion. Wish me luck for week 10!
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