from rock hard to pillow soft

today, i got a massage. normally, i LOVE massages, but today's was rough. REALLY rough. =(

my masseuse, keiko, gave me the most painful massage i've ever had in my entire life. i was clenching with pain the entire hour, and i made tons of painful sounds to let her know i was dying. i even told her numerous times that it hurt and asked if she could be softer, but she would not listen. she kept saying that this was good for me; that she was getting out all the knots; that i was becoming softer; and that my back was looking better.

i was getting really frustrated bc i really just wanted a nice, relaxing massage. i didn't want to be in all this pain. i didn't care if all my knots were gone or not. i just wanted to feel good. but u know, i could tell that keiko actually really liked me and cared a lot about me. everytime she found a knot, she was so excited, and immediately went to work on it. and when she got knots out, she would tell me how good it was, and she would be really proud. so i knew she had my best interests in mind, but i was in so much pain!! literally, the massage was done 90% with her elbows!! =((((

as i was lying there on the bed, trying to breathe through the pain, i kept wondering if i should tell her to stop. it was just too much. and even though i knew that it would be good for me to get the knots out, i was like, no, this is way too painful. i can live with the knots.

and it was at this moment that i started to think about sin and friendship. we all sin. and our friends pretty much know about our sins. but there are some friends who want to see the best version of you and try to push and encourage you to move past your sin and to become the best you possible. and then there are other friends who are more surface level, and they don't ever address anything serious with you.

i felt like keiko was one of those pushing/encouraging friends. she genuinely wanted me to be a knot-free person, with good, healthy muscles, and not be riddled with pain and tension. and initially, i thought i could take the pain, but after a while, i really just wanted her to leave me alone. i didn't want to deal with this pain. i didn't want to endure the pain to get to the good side - to have the best mia possible. but she would not have it. at one point, i even told her to give up bc it was too painful. and she reluctantly said okay, but snuck back there a few minutes later.

i know i tend to be a baby sometimes, especially when it comes to doing something that hurts. i will whine, cry, and stamp my foot. but my true friends will keep on pushing me to get through it bc they know how good it'll be once i overcome it. but with friends who are not as close, they'll just be like oh, sorry to hear about that... and not really be there to run beside you.

as much as i was dying in pain, i appreciated keiko and all of her efforts to help me. and honestly - i'm thankful for all the people in my life who run with me, and keep pushing me even when i cry out in pain and beg for mercy. u guys just want to see the best mia.

oyyy! what a revelation to have on a massage table!! =)

and to end the night - the highlight of my day was eating a choco taco while walking in the city with one of my closest friends. good ice cream in my belly, and good conversations to last a lifetime. =D PTL!